Quote of the Day (grapes)

"So is there such a thing as grape bananas too?" - Serious question from a high school student after she didn't believe me when I said there was such a thing as apple bananas. (12/19/14)

Quote of the Day (genderist)

"Mister, you're racist against females. You're genderist." - Farcical accusation from a high school student after I refused to let her do more make up work to raise her grade past the deadline. (12/18/14)

Quote of the Day (return)

(Conversation in my classroom)
Former Student: Mister, I can't wait for you to come and teach our class.
Me: I'm not going anywhere.
FS: Wait, I thought you were taking over for [retiring teacher's name]!
Me: I am.
FS: So...wait! Does that mean we have to come up here!?
Me: Yes.
FS: Does that mean I have to climb those stairs every day!?!?!
Me: Yes.
FS (leaving the classroom): Noooooooooooooooooooooo.

Quote of the Day (existence)

"Man! Number 4 has me questioning my existence." - Exclamation from a high school student about a particularly challenging question on his test. (12/16/14)

Quote of the Day (religion)

"You can't do that! It's against your religion." - Comment from a high school student after I told her I would begin the next semester by assigning 40 homework questions on the first day. (12/15/14)

Quote of the Day (retirement)

"WAIT! Mister, you're retiring!?" - Question from a student who clearly misunderstood the rumor that coworker of mine is retiring and that I would begin teaching his students when he leaves. (12/12/14)

Quote of the Day (stairs)

"Noooo. We love the stairs." - Comment from a high school student after I told the class that one positive about them moving to another class (with a new teacher) after this semester is that they won't have to complain about climbing the stairs to my classroom any more. (12/11/14)

Quote of the Day (stop sign)

"You're nothing but an oversized stop sign." - Witty comeback from a 9th grade student who was being (playfully) harassed by a couple of upperclassmen on the basketball team who were wearing their bright red warmups in class. (12/9/14)

Quote of the Day (protest)

"We're gonna stage a protest to get you suspended." - Comment from a current high school student upon hearing rumors that I might not be teaching his class next semester. When I questioned the logic of getting me suspended even though I wouldn't even be teaching his class he responded, "If we can't have you, no one can have you." (12/9/14)

Quote of the Day (YouTube)

"She doesn't even know how to work YouTube." - Reason given by a pair of high school students after I asked them why they were annoyed enough with one of their teachers that they lingered around my class until the very last minute. (12/8/14)

Quote of the Day (confidence)

"I am not overcocky-dent." - Malapropism from a high school student after I told her she was being too overconfident with her math assignment by not showing any work. (12/5/14)

Quote of the Day (still nameless)

"Oh! I still never put my name on it." - Follow up comment from the same student who was mocking the owner of a nameless assignment only to realize it was his. When he submitted the assignment he had found yesterday, he quickly he realized he still hadn't written his name on it. (12/4/14)

Quote of the Day (nameless)

"HA HA HA! Look at that paper, who's stupid enough to not put their...oh wait, that's mine." - Comment from a high school student as he was pointing to a homework assignment at the top of the pile of papers with no name on them. (12/3/14)

Quote of the Day (accent)

"Mister, I like hearing the word 'stupid' when it's said with a British accent." - Comment from a high school student as class started. He followed it with, "I wish I had a British accent because then I'd be rich." (12/2/14)

Quote of the Day (budget)

"Wow! That's it!? I can spend that in one trip to the mall." - Comment from a high school student after she overheard me talking to her peer about how much teachers get budgeted per year to spend for all of their students. (11/25/14)