Quote of the Day (rounding)

“Mister, are you sure there’s no way you want to round my 56% to something like a...75%?” - Question from a student on the last day of the semester. (12/21/17)

Quote of the Day (100%)

Student [upon receiving her graded test back]: “Yeeeeeee! I’m so happy. Mister, I love you...in this class, I mean.”
Me [watching Student take a picture of her test]: “What are you doing?”
Student: “I’m just taking a picture of my test.”
Me: “You can’t do that.”
Student: “Yeah, but I only took a picture of the score.”
Me: “But you also took a picture of the first two answers.” (12/20/17)

Quote of the Day (school spirit)

“I voted you for most school spirit.” - Comment from a high school student regarding her farcical vote for the yearbook’s teacher section. (12/19/17)

Quote of the Day (thinking)

Student: ”Ugh. I just can’t think today.”
Me: “You said that for the last three days.”
Student: “I know. I hope it won’t happen during the test.”
Me: “...” (12/14/17)

Quote of the Day (Inspiration)

Student 1 [to Student 2, a former student who stopped by to visit]: “You know why I’m staying in this class and trying to pass it?”
Student 2: “No, why?”
Student 1: “Because of you.”
Student 2: “ME?”
Student 1: “Yeah, because you posted that you got an F in the first quarter, but ended the class with an A.”
Student 2: “Um...I don’t think I posted anything like that. I barely passed this class.” (12/13/17)

Quote of the Day (learning)

Student 1: “Mister, this is like the only class where I feel like I learn a lot. I mean, I learn in my other classes, but I feel like I learn so much more in this class.”
Me: “Thank you. I hope you’re...”
Student 2: “Oh wow [Student 1]! You’re really trying to get an A in this class, huh?” (12/12/17)

Quote of the Day (Florida)

“That’s all they have down there: alligators and old people.” - A high school student’s assumption about the state of Florida. (12/11/17)

Quote of the Day (Kailua)

Student: “Mister, do you live in Kailua?”
Me: “No.”
Student: “Are you sure? Or were you just in Kailua?”
Me: “No, I haven’t been there in about a year. Why?”
Student: “Oh, I was there and saw your car pass by. I guess it wasn’t you.”
(12/8/17)

Quote of the Day (tutor)

Student 1 [waving her hand in the direction of a few of her peers]: “Hey Mister! Look at me. I’m like a math tutor over here.”
Student 2: “Shut up! How many times did we have to help you yesterday?”
(12/7/17)

Quote of the Day (puzzle)

“That was fun. It felt kinda like a puzzle.” - Comment from a high school student after completing one of the hardest assignments of the year, simplifying trigonometric identities. (11/29/17)

Quote of the Day (collusion)

Student: “I think my new favorite word is ‘collusion’.”
Me: “That’s a great word. Wasn’t that named Word of the Year this year?”
Student: “I’m not sure, but I... [sees two students whispering to each other] COLLUSION!” (12/5/17)

Quote of Day (headphones)

Student 1 strolls into class with some headphones on.
Student 2 [to me]: “You know what? Half the time his headphones aren’t even plugged in.”
Student 1 [lifting a headphone cup off his ear]: “What?”
Student 2: “Nothing.”
Student 2 [to me]: “And they’re not even Bluetooth.” (12/4/17)

Quote of the Day (squirrel)

A student walks in after lunch looking a little down.
Me: “Is everything OK?”
Student: “No. [Student name] just called me a squirrel.”
Me: “That’s not ri...”
Student: “It’s only because I went around asking all my friends for food.” (11/30/17)

Quote of the Day (mumps)

“Is this about [student name]?” - Question from mutiple students as I handed out an official school letter detailing the anonymous confirmed case of the mumps at our school. (11/30/17)

Quote of the Day (R U OK?)

The following is from a student’s recollection of an incident in his class during a suicide prevention presentation that revolved around the theme of  “Are You OK?” that was spelled out “R U OK?”
“So Mr. [Teacher Name] shows the slide with R U OK? on the screen and says, ‘This is what our presentation is about. You all know what this is, right?’ And someone in the back says, ‘Rue-Ock? What does that mean?’ ” (11/29/17)

Quote of the Day (hoarder)

Student 1: “Hey! Are those my pants?”
Me [to student 2]: “Did you steal [Student 1]’s pants?”
Student 2: “No. These are the pants that he traded to me for a hamburger.”
Student 1: “Oh yeah, now I remember.”
Me: “Wait! You traded a pair of pants for a hamburger?”
Student 2: “Yeah, he has lots of clothes.”
Student 1: “I just collected a bunch of clothes over the years.”
Me: “Are you a hoarder?”
Student 1: “No. I just don’t get rid of stuff.” (11/21/17)

Quote of the Day (Cyber Monday)

“They should just make Cyber Monday a holiday too.” - Opening greeting from a high school student after Thanksgiving Break. I don’t know who “they” are, but they need to get on this. (11/27/17)

Quote of the Day (revelations)

Student 1: “Hey [Student 2]! Are you still working on your test?”
Student 2 just nods.
Student 1: “Me too! Are you done?”
Student 2 shakes her head.
Student 1: “Are you done, but too afraid to turn it in?”
Student 2 nods.
Student 1: “Me too! I’m sitting here praying for revelations, but it’s not working.” (11/22/17)

Quote of the Day (homey)

“When [Former Student] found out that I was taking Trig, she said, ‘I hope you get in Hwang’s class.’ Then she said that you were friends.” - Comment from a current student telling me about a student I taught a couple years ago. She continued, “No, wait. She didn’t say that you were friends. She said, ‘He’s my homey.’ Whatever that means.” (11/21/17)

Quote of the Day (weekend)

“I’m sorry, Mister. It was the worst weekend of my life.” - Apology from a high school student for his lethargic performance in class. He played for the school’s football team that lost a heartbreaking State Championship game on Saturday. Before he left, he got in a slight dig on some of his teammates, “But at least I came to school today!” (11/20/17)

Quote of the Day (Lamaze)

“I feel like we should take those classes where they teach you how to breathe when you’re pregnant. Hah, hee, hah, hoh.” - Comment from a high school senior to her friend after climbing up to my classroom on the third floor. (11/16/17)

Quote of the Day (lockdown)

“You know, I actually had a dream about this.” - Confession from a high school student as I prepared the class for our upcoming lockdown drill. He continued, “I mean, not the drill, but an actual incident with a shooter on campus. I dreamt that we put a whole bunch of yarn in the doorway and hid. When the shooter ran in, he tripped and we all jumped on him and stabbed him with our scissors.” (11/16/17)

Quote of the Day (Stomach)

Me [to a student making awkward penguin motions in the back of class]: “Excuse me, just what is going on back here?”
Student: “Mister, do you know if you can touch your stomach with a straight arm?”
Me [as the student continues to make weird arm motions]: “...Um, okay. I guess someone could if their stomach is big enough.” (11/15/17)

Quote of the Day (face paint)

“Mister, if you paint your face... No, if you paint just half your face red, I bet you’ll get the highest teacher ratings ever.” - Comment from a high school student who is desperately trying to get me to paint my face for a school pep rally which coincidentally falls on the same day that I have to distribute surveys to my students to rate my performance as a teacher. (11/14/17)

Quote of the Day (pulse)

Me [feeling somebody touching my wrist while I’m helping a student]: “What are you doing!?”
Student: “Oh, um, I was just trying to take your pulse.”
Me: “First of all, why the are you trying to take my pulse? Secondly, if you’re going to take someone’s pulse, at least do it right. Follow the person’s thumb to the wrist. Also, never use your thumb to take someone’s pulse.”
Student [taking her own pulse]: “Ooh! I feel it now. It’s amazing what you can learn in school.” (11/8/17)

Quote of the Day (fund raising)

Student: “Mister, do you want to buy a plate lunch?”
Me: “For?”
Student: “For my rugby team’s trip.”
Me: “When is the pick up for the plate lunch?”
Student: “Oh, um, tomorrow.”
Me: “Sorry, let me know ahead of time and I might help out.”
Student: “Man, I haven’t even sold one ticket yet.”
Me: “I’m sorry.”
Student: “It’s OK. It’s not your fault. I just hate selling stuff...It makes me feel like a prostitute.” (11/9/17)

Quote of the Day (pass)

”Mister, I’m going to pass this class.” - Curious statement from a student who started out poorly, but has been making progress throughout the semester. He finished his greeting with, “My mom says I couldn’t pass this class, but I’m going to prove her wrong.” (11/8/17)

Quote of the Day (B)

Student: “No! I don’t want it!”
Me [handing student her progress report]: “Here”
Student: “Argh! I can’t afford B’s. Getting a B is like getting an F.” (11/7/17)

Quote of the Day (study)

”I’m going to go home and study some more.” - Answer from a student after I asked him why he was turning in an incomplete test with more than five minutes left in class. (11/6/17)

Quote of the Day (Spider-Man)

The following are two comments from different students in different classes about the same person, a student who is obsessed with Spider-Man.
Student 1: “Sometimes he doesn’t respond to [student name]. I have to say ‘Peter’ then he’ll turn and look.”

Student 2: “Are you the one who wrote [student name] the pass on Halloween, the one that said ‘Peter Parker’?”
Me: “Yes.”
Student 2: “Did you hear that because of your note he made EVERYONE call him Peter the rest of the day?”
 (11/3/17)

Quote of the Day (zero)

The following is a conversation with a student that turned in homework late multiple times until I told him that I wouldn’t accept it. He later tried to turn in more late homework claiming that he couldn’t come to school because of a road closure. I accepted since it may have been true but I warned him that he used up all credibility by turning in all his other assignments late and that I would not be so lenient in the future. After the end of the quarter he tried to worm his way into making up classwork that he had missed due to an absence several months ago.

Me: “Are you not going to do your homework? Today is the last day to turn it in.”
Student: “Oh, um, I forgot my bag at home. Can I...”
[Student recognizes my increasing annoyance]
Student: “So I’m just going to, um, take the zero.”
At least he’s learning something. (11/2/17)

Quote of the Day (costume)

Student 1: “Hey [Student 2]! You know who you should’ve dressed up as?”
Student 2: “No, who?”
Student 1: “You should’ve dressed up as Mister.”
Student 1 & Student 3: “Ooooh!”
Student 3: “Yeah, that would’ve been a great costume!” (10/31/17)

Quote of the Day (1 year)

"I live in Hauula now, but I lived in Laie for one year. One year in Laie is like ten years in Hauula." - Comment from a high school student after he learned that he lives right up the street from me. (10/31/17)

Quote of the Day (earplugs)

Me [handing a cap eraser to Student 1]: “Here. It looks like you could use this.”
Student 2: “Ooh! Can I have some too?”
Me [looking at Student 2’s pencil and seeing an almost unused eraser] “Some? You have more than enough.”
Student 2 [looks more carefully at what I had handed her classmate]: “Oh, they’re erasers. I thought you gave him earplugs.” (10/30/17)

Quote of the Day (starburst)

Student: “Mister, if I get this next question right will you give me a starburst too?”
Me: “Huh? What are you talking about. I don’t even have any starbursts.”
Student: “I saw you put one on [student’s name]’s desk, right there!”
Me: “That? That was an eraser.”
Student [squinting]: “Well it looked like a starburst from here.” (10/27/17)

Quote of the Day (fun)

”Yes! Now this class is fun again.” - Excited comment from a high school student who started to regain her confidence in my class. Her classmate said something similar upon solving the same difficult question, “Wow! I feel so smart.” Maybe my class is too easy. (10/26/17)

Quote of the Day (business)

Student [reading a note that I had written]: “Ha ha, you spelled ‘business’ wrong.”
Me: “Really? No, that’s correct.”
Student: “I’m pretty sure it’s not spelled...[proceeds to read it as] ‘boo-si-ness’.”
Me: “If you doubt me, you can look it up. Besides, how would you spell it?”
Student: “I don’t know B-U-I-S-N-E-S-S?” (10/25/17)

Quote of the Day (first floor)

Student 1 [upon seeing me exit a coworker’s classroom]: “Wow! I can’t believe I’m seeing Mister on the first floor of a building!”
Student 2: “[Student1]! You can’t just say out loud whatever pops in your head.”
(10/24/17)

Quote of the Day (ultimate)

Student 1: “Hey! How was the college fair today?”
Student 2: “Oh, I don’t know. It wasn’t that good.”
Student 1: “Why? It sounded like it would be interesting.”
Student 2: “Because all of the schools I talked to except one didn’t know if they have an ultimate frisbee team.” (10/23/17)

Quote of the Day (senior quote)

”I made [my senior quote] ‘y = mx + b’.” - Comment from a high school senior who saw me get closer as his friends were talking about what quotes they had submitted for the yearbook. (10/19/17)

Quote of the Day (classwork)

Student: “I noticed I was missing a classwork assignment, and I was wondering if I could make it up to change my grade.”
Me: “That classwork assignment was due during class about two months ago. You should have finished it and turned it in the day it was assigned.”
Student: “Yeah, but that was probably during one of those days that I was gone.”
Me: “Then you should have had this conversation with me as soon as you got back and saw that you had missed it.”
Student: “Well, I didn’t tell you this, but I was having trouble accessing my online grades earlier this quarter so I wouldn’t have been able to see what I was missing.”
Me: “I also print out your progress report and give it to you after every exam so you didn’t need to access your online grades.”
Student: “Oh. Ha ha. Well, you got me there.” [walks away] (10/17/17)

Quote of the Day (cap and gown)

“I feel so old.” - Comment from a high school student before class started. When I asked why she felt that way she replied, “I feel so old ordering my cap and gown.” (10/17/17)

Quote of the Day (abortion)

“My mom says that sometimes she wishes she could still abort me...and I’m 16 years old!” - Comment from a high school student about how her mom is “psycho”. (10/17/17)

Quote of the Day (blue)

”Mister, I saw you driving around the other day.” - Creepy stalkerish statement from a student upon our return from Fall Break. She continued, “You were driving a blue car.” Bullet dodged. My car is silver. (10/16/17)

Quote of the Day (teacher)

“Mister, it must be really stressful to be a math teacher.” - Comment from a student after he observed my growing frustration with his friend’s attempts to submit his assignment online. It started with simple rounding mistakes: .0515 was rounded to .051. Next came typing errors on other problems: 0.0313 was typed in as 0.313 as he rushed to finish. He finally managed to eliminate all his easy mistakes on his eighth attempt. (10/6/17)

Quote of the Day (fun)

”Math is fun when it makes sense.” - Comment from a high school student as she figured out how to do some of the more complicated problems from the day’s lesson on her own. (10/5/17)

Quote of the Day (permission)

Student: “Mister, I have something I need you to sign.”
Me: “Sure. What is it?”
Student [extracting a damp permission form from a jean (back) pocket]: “Ewww. It’s all gross.”
(10/4/17)

Quote of the Day (above average)

Student 1 [looking at the class’ average score that I posted on the board]: “Hey! I’m slightly above average.”
Student 2: “Me too!”
Student 1 [turning to high five Student 2]: “Hey! We’re both above average.” (10/3/17)

Quote of the Day (cheating)

Student: “Mister, I heard that you caught some people cheating on a test in your class last week.”

Me: “Wow. News travels fast.”

Student: “Do you still let them use notes like you did with us last year?

Me: “Yes.”

Student: “Oh my gosh! How stupid do they have to be to cheat on an open-note test?” (10/2/17)

Quote of the Day (scotch tape)

Student: “Mister, do you have any scotch tape?”
Me [pointing to the counter where all my supplies are kept]: “Yes.”
Student: “No. Not that kind.”
Me: “What kind do you mean?”
Student: “Not the clear kind. The tan kind.”
Me: “You mean masking tape?”
(9/29/17)

Quote of the Day (loser)

“Do we have a deal? Loser has to wear a dress to school.” - Playful bet between a few male high school students after they kept bragging about how they were going to outscore each other on an upcoming exam. One of them came in extra early today to start the exam before class officially began. He told me that he wanted to finish it before everyone else so he could put pressure on his friends; he only missed one question on the entire exam. (9/28/17)

Quote of the Day (submit)

“Is that still turn in-able?” - Question from a high school student during a conversation about her poor test score being a direct result of her missing homework. (9/26/17)

Quote of the Day (allergy)

“Wait! Mister, you’re allergic to peanuts too? That’s so cool.” - Comment from a high school student who was excited to learn that he wasn’t the only one allergic to peanuts, I guess. (9/26/17)

Quote of the Day (Wendy’s)

Student 1: “You know what this community needs? A Wendy’s! Instead of the new fire station, they should just build a Wendy’s. I would totally work over there.”
Student 2: “Why? They probably pay minimum wage. You could probably get more money [somewhere else].”
Student 1: “Yeah, but at Wendy’s their burgers are square!”
(9/25/17)

Quote of the Day (voice)

Student: “Mister, when are you ever going to get your voice back?”
Me: “Soon, I hope.”
Student: “Good. Because I kinda forgot what your real voice sounds like.”
Me too, kid. Me too. (9/22/17)

Quote of the Day (tired)

“When I was young I used to make fun of people that said stuff like that. *sigh* Now I’m one of them.” - Confession from a high school senior after immediately complaining about how tired she was as she entered the classroom. (9/21/17)

Quote of the Day (copycat)

”Mister, I promise I’m not copying you. I really did lose my voice.” - Comment from a hoarse student during class. (9/20/17)

Quote of the Day (wrong class)

"Oh! I was wondering why there were so many new students in my class." - Comment from a high school student upon realizing she had been sitting down and waiting for class to start in the wrong period. (9/19/17)

Quote of the Dlay (notes)

Student: "Mister, I swore I took notes on this last year."
Me: "I know. Because I taught it to you."
Student: "Oh yeah. I remember now!"
Me: "Good. You remember what it said?"
Student: "No. I just remember I wrote it on a purple sheet of paper."
(9/18/17)

Quote of the Day (triangles)

Student [looking over her most recent exam]: "Mister, did I get all of these wrong because I drew and labeled my triangles wrong?"
Me [glancing at the red marks scattered all over her test]: "Unfortunately, yes."
Student: "Aw. You even told us not to do that." (9/15/17)

Quote of the Day (sto)

"Wow! This is evolutionary." - Comment from a high school student after I showed her how to store numbers in the calculator's memory so she wouldn't have to write them all down when trying to be as precise as possible in her calculations. (9/14/17)

Quote of the Day (Costco)

"Wow! It looks like Costco in there." - Comment from a high school student who caught a glimpse of the contents of my snack closet. (9/13/17)

Quote of the Day (Binder)

Student [at the beginning of class on Monday]: "Mister, did I leave my binder in here last week?"
Me: "No. I haven't seen it."
Student: "Well, I'll guess I'll have to start a new one then."

Student [at the end of school on Tuesday]: "Mister, did you see my new binder anywhere in your classroom?"
Me: "Yes. It's right where you left it on Monday." (9/12/17)

Quote of the Day (date)

Student 1: "Mister, I need to make up the work that I missed."
Me: "It's on my website."
Student 1 [2 minutes later & looking at my website]: "How do I know which assignments I missed?"
Student 2 [before I could answer]: "It's right there! Just look at the dates that you missed, Thursday and Friday, the assignments are listed underneath each date."
Me: "Thanks."
Student 2 [pounding his chest]: "I got you Mister!" (9/11/17)

Quote of the Day (equation editing)

"Wow! That just blew my mind. This is fun!" - Comment from a high school student after I taught her class how to type some simple math equations and symbols in google docs. (9/8/17)

Quote of the Day (favorite)

"I like this class. I think this is my favorite class." - Casual confession at the end of class from a future A student. (9/7/17)

Quote of the Day (diary pt.2)

Directly following the conversation from a student asking if I kept a diary of the silly things my students say.
Me: "I don't need to write down the stupid stuff you guys say. The microphone in the back records all of it."
Student 2 starts laughing.
Student 1 stands up and starts looking for the imaginary mic.
Student 1 [upon realizing that I was joking]: "Don't do that to me! [Student 2's name], you'd better not tell anyone what just happened. Argh! I'm book-smart, but I don't get it when you're joking with me." (9/5/17)

Quote of the Day (diary pt. 1)

Student: "Mister, do you keep a diary?"
Me [confused at the randomness of the question]: "No. Why?"
Student: "I mean, do you write things down? Like do you write down some of the things students say?"
Me [suspicious that this student found my blog]: "I've thought about it."
Student [smiling with no sign of knowing about my blog]: "Because we say some of the stupidest stuff. I think it would be really funny if someone wrote it down so we could read it back later." (9/5/17)

Quote of the Day (Everest)

Student 1 [between labored breaths]: "Hi! Hang on. I need to catch my breath from climbing Mount Everest."
Student 2: "I know, right? More like Mount Never Rest."
Both give a labored laugh. (8/30/17)

Quote of the Day (recycling)

"WAIT! STOP!" - Exclamation from a high school junior who had accompanied a few other students to help empty my classroom's recycling bin that was full of papers. When I glanced over to see if there were any safety concerns, the student gleefully continued, "I think that's my paper. IT IS! That's my scratch paper that I used on the first day of class!" (8/30/17)

Quote of the Day (math)

"I like math!" - Somewhat timid confession from a high school student as she walked by my desk at the end of a class period where she had gained confidence in her abilities. As she turned to exit, she quickly added, "But don't tell my mom I said that." (8/28/17)

Quote of the Day (backwards)

"Huh? My shorts are on backwards." - Pronouncement from a high school junior just as class was about to start. (8/28/17)

Quote of the Day (PB&J)

Student 1: "You're a freak!"
Me: "What's going on?"
Student 1: "[Friend's name] doesn't eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."
Me: "There's nothing wrong with that. There are lots of people who are allergic to peanuts and can't eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."
Student 1: "No. She just doesn't like them."
Me (to Student 2): "So you're not allergic?"
Student 2: "Nope. I just don't like the texture of it."
Student 1: "Freak!"
(8/23/17)

Quote of the Day (voice)

Me (during our school's open house): "I'm sorry. My voice is going."
Parent: "No. Your voice is gone." (8/24/17)

Quote of the Day (Instagram)

"Mister, I am your 100th follower on Instagram. I think that deserves something." - Comment from a high school student as class started. That public Instagram account was one of the best things I started last year as it keeps students from looking for my real Instagram account. (8/23/17)

Quote of the Day (twins)

Student 1 (an identical twin): "Mister! You still can't tell us apart?"
Me: "No. And how long have I known you?"
Student 1: "We met last year when we were trying to switch in your class."
Me: "And you couldn't so there's no way I could know who you were until this year (9 school days)."
Student 1: "But we've known you since then."
Student 2: "Yeah, you knew him because Mister's famous!" (8/22/17)

Quote of the Day (face)

Student: "EWWW! Why do you have [name of friend]'s picture here?"
Me: "Because I just saw it in the newspaper this morning."
Student: "Can I just remove it? I don't want to look at it."
Me: "Why?"
Student: "Because he's not attractive."
Me: "Sorry, that's not a good enough reason."
Student: "Well, can we just agree that he's not pleasant to look at?" (8/21/17)

Quote of the Day (rumors)

"OK! I've heard two people say that the test was easy, but I've also heard several other people say that it was hard." - Comment from a high school student as she entered class. She shrugged and smiled continuing, "They probably didn't study and failed so that's why they said it was hard." (8/17/17)

Quote of the Day (Bad Sign)

"Mister, do you offer extra credit?" - Question from a high school senior on the second week of school. I hadn't even given an assignment for points yet. (8/15/17)

Quote of the Day (How To)

"We're looking up 'How to talk to girls'." - Comment from a high school junior after I asked him why he and his friend were not doing their work. (8/15/17)

Quote of the Day (Cooling Off)

"It's so hot. I just went to go cool off." - Excuse from a high school student after I asked him why he was out of his seat. In roughly 30 minutes, he had managed to finish only 8 basic fraction problems for a review in a Pre-Calculus class. (8/14/17)

Quote of the Day (challenge)

"I'm the kind of person that wants to know how to do things even if they're hard." - Comment from a high school student who was disappointed when I told her that the review problem she was working on probably wasn't worth the effort for an upcoming timed pretest. (8/11/17)

Quote of the Day (quiet)

"Wow! It's so quiet in here." - Observation at the beginning of the period from a student who had just transferred into my class. As soon as he heard my hoarse voice welcoming students and getting them started on the day's assignment he said aloud, "Ohhhhh! Now I see." (8/10/17)

Quote of the Day (contagious)

"Wow. That sounds contagious." - Comment from a high school student after learning that the loss of my voice was caused by laryngopharyngeal reflux. (8/9/17)

Quote of the Day (song)

"♪ Just failed my test, but I'm still the best. ♫" - Original song by a high school student that I heard instead of her normal greeting upon entering the class. (5/17/17)

Quote of the Day (wisdom teeth)

"I was told I have five wisdom teeth. Is that even...legal?" - Question from a high school student explaining to me why she wouldn't be in school for the next few days. (5/9/17)

Quote of the Day (cleaning)

"Oh hey! Look! He's cleaning my bed." - Comment from a high school student as she saw me start vacuuming the counter by the window that she (and several other students) liked to lounge on before classes. (5/26/17)

Quote of the Day (mama said)

"You're right. I'll be satisfied with my grade. My mom just told me that students that try to turn in late work on the last day of school are the most irritating students." - Mature comment from a high school student who was denied the opportunity to turn in two missing homework assignments that would have raised her grade AFTER she saw her updated grade with an exam she told me she was coming in to finish on Monday...three Mondays ago. (5/24/17)

Quote of the Day (highest)

"Mister! How the heck do these two have the highest grade in the class?" - Question from a high school student who was watching his two classmates fail at performing a simple arithmetic question (1x1+3) to break the tie for having the highest grade in the class. (5/24/17)

Quote of the Day (studious)

Student: "Is it OK if I come back here to work on this if I get a pass?"
Me: "Sure, but I don't want you to miss anything important."
Student: "Right, becasuse there's so much I can learn about life by watching some dumb movie."
Actual conversation from a student who would rather work on an AP Calculus summer assignment than watch a movie with his peers in another class. (5/23/17)

Quote of the Day (betrayal)

"I feel so sad. I can't believe he betrayed me." - Comment from a high school student after learning that her brother, who had said he would help her with a major assignment, started it without her. (5/22/17)

Quote of the Day (dog)

"Yeah, so long story short...my dog ate my homework." - Conclusion from a trustworthy high school student who was frustrated because her teacher didn't believe her account of her leaving her precious school packet on a chair, her parents coincidentally keeping the family dog inside overnight due to an injury, and the dog shredding her packet to use as bedding. (5/19/17)

Quote of the Day (over)

"Mister, are you over it? A lot of my other teachers said they're over it already." - Question from a high school student as class started. Little did she know, I was already over it back when the school year started in August. (5/17/17)

Quote of the Day (meeting)

Student [just as I'm closing my windows and getting ready to leave]: "Hi Mister! Where you going?"
Me: "Sorry. I have a meeting. Did you need some help?"
Student: "No. I just wanted to talk story."
Me: "Oh, sorry I can't stay."
Student: "Are you sure you have a meeting?"
(5/15/17)

Quote of the Day (conception)

Student 1: "Hey Mister! When's your birthday?"
Me: "Jun...wait, why?"
Student 2: "[Student 1] wants to know when you were conceived."
Me: "WHAT!?"
Student 1 [busy opening some website that calculates back approximately 9 months from your birthday]: "Yeah. It turns out I was conceived on Valentine's Day, and [Student 2] was conceived on the Fourth of July!" (5/15/17)

Quote of the Day (seniors)

Two questions from departing senior students some of whom I taught almost four years straight:
"Mister, is it hard this time of year when the seniors leave?"
"Mister! Are you going to miss us?" (5/12/17)

Quote of the Day (weekend)

Student: "Bye Mister. Have a good weekend."
Me: "Wait! Are you not going to be here tomorrow?"
Student: "Oh! Oops, don't tell anyone I said that. It just feels like a Friday. I'll say that to you again tomorrow." (5/11/17)

Quote of the Day (cried)

"Mister, I just want you to know...hang on, let me catch my breath from those stairs... I just want you to know that I almost cried yesterday during the test." - Comment from a high school student who went well out of her way (to my class on the 3rd floor) to express her feelings about the AP Calculus exam she took the day before. (5/10/17)

Quote of the Day (schedule)

"OK, what do I have to do tomorrow?" - Question posed by a high school student to herself after she stood up to get ready to leave school. She continued, "Wake up early, eat a good breakfast, don't die." (5/9/17)

Quote of the Day (bee)

"Look Mister! I'm the Bee Master. What should I do? Kill it? Or let it go?" - Comment from a high school student who had trapped a bee with his water bottle during class. (5/8/17)

Quote of the Day (book)

"That's all from second period? You should write a book of them." - Reaction from a high school student after I read some of the random quotes I had written down from my other class. (5/5/17)

Quote of the Day (smell)

Student 1 (to Student 2): "Mmm, you smell nice today."
Student 2 (looks at me awkwardly, pauses, then smells herself): "Nope. It's not me. It must be Mister." (5/4/17)

Quote of the Day (instagram)

"I'm going to make an Instagram just so I can follow you Mister." - Comment from a younger high school student who has heard of some of the humorous posts on my public instagram account. For the record, I don't think my posts are that funny. (5/3/17)

Quote of the Day (Field Trip)

Student [walking into the room well before the start of class]: "Hi Mister."
Me: "What are you doing here? I thought you had a field trip."
Student: "...Oh yeah."
Me: "Wow! How is it that I know your schedule better than you?"
Student: "Oh no, I don't have any money to buy lunch."
...
Student: "Oh well, I can skip eating."
...
Student: "Oh, I also need a change of clothes."
...
Student: "Oh well, I'll dry out in the bus."
...
Student [turns around and walks out]: "Thanks for reminding me Mister." (5/2/17)

Quote of the Day (scab)

Student 1: "Yes! It's finally off. It's taken about a month."
Me [turning to see Student 1 picking off a scab from his knee]: "Why would you even tell me this let alone say it out loud? That would be like taking pictures of it and posting it on instagram."
Student 2: "My brother posted pictures of his ingrown toenail on his instagram." (5/1/17)

Quote of the Day (twitter)

"Mister, will you follow me back?"
"Can I draw a new profile picture for you?"
Questions from some of my students after I revealed to the class that I had created an "official" twitter account. (4/28/17)

Quote of the Day (Korean)

Student: "Mister, you're Korean, right?"
Me: "Yes. Half."
Student: "You guys make the best dramas."
(4/24/17)

Quote of the Day (Japanese)

"Mister, some teacher told me to bring this to you because you might have left them there [the teacher workroom]." - Comment from an unknown high school student handing me a stack of blue papers that a well-intentioned teacher thought was mine. Each of the blue papers had the lyrics to a song on them...in Japanese; I teach math. (4/26/17)

Quote of the Day (loud)

"I guess that's how people speak wherever she's from. I couldn't imagine you doing that." - Comment from high school student after she complained about how loud her teacher in the previous class was. (4/25/17)

Quote of the Day (Mary Poppins)

"You're like the male version of Mary Poppins." - Comment from a high school student who saw me provide within just a few minutes of each other: a fork for a student who was finishing her lunch, a marker for a student who was starting his work, and a wet napkin for a student whose pen broke spilling ink all over his hands and desk. (4/24/17)

Quote of the Day (rain)

Student 1 [observes the rain intensify right before class ends]: "I'm allergic to water so I guess I have to stay here and not go to my next class."
Student 2: "If you're allergic to water? How do you take a shower?" (4/21/17)

Quote of the Day (blood)

Student 1 (to her peer who just wearily walked in with bandages on each arm): "You're back! Thanks for donating blood. How was it?"
Student 2: "Huh? Oh, it was OK. I was surprised how sore it was when they were digging around for my vein."
Student 1: "Ow. That can hurt. Was this your first time?"
Student 2:. Yeah...no, it's my last time."
(4/20/17)

Quote of the Day (stairs)

"Mister! I'm not going to miss those...hold on, let me catch my breath...After I graduate, I'm not going to miss those stairs." - Comment from a high school senior after climbing to my class on the third floor after lunch. (4/19/17)

Quote of the Day (NBA)

Student: "Jazz game today! I'm cheering for the Jazz."
Me: "I thought you were a Pacers fan."
Student: "I am. I want the Jazz and the Pacers in the Finals."
Me: "Oh, now I get it."
Student continues with a wry smile: "With a game 7 last second game winner by Lance Stephenson." (4/18/17)

Quote of the Day (spiral)

Me: "So what shape does that make?"

Student: "I know! It makes...um...a Maui!" (4/13/17)

Quote of the Day (cap & gown)

Student 1: "Did you pick up your cap and gown yesterday?"
Student 2: "Yeah. I was cruising around in it pretty much the whole night."
(4/13/17)

Quote of the Day (missionary)

Student 1: "Yes, I'm planning on going to [college name] after my mission."
Me: "So you're going on your mission right after high school?"
Student 1: "I'll be done with my [application] papers this Sunday. I should know where I'm going in a few weeks before graduation."
Me: "Wow. That's coming up fast.
Student 2: "What do you do on a mission?"
The bell rings right after Student 1 answered several more questions from Student 2 about church missions.
Student 2: "How many missionaries are there right now?"
Student 1: "You know, if you're so interested, you could actually meet some missionaries. I could even have some visit you at your house." (4/11/17)

Quote of the Day (Good Friday)

"Oh, is that what it's for? I always thought someone just picked some random Friday and since all Fridays are good..." - Comment from a high school student after her friend explained why we celebrate Good Friday. (4/10/17)

Quote of the Day ( wisdom)

"She likes talking, but it hurts. So now she's only talking as much as a normal person would." - A high school student's observation of her chatty friend who was missing class because she had her wisdom teeth removed yesterday. (4/6/17)

Quote of the Day (electricity)

"Mister, I have a serious question. Do toilets need electricity to flush?" - Question asked by a high school senior during a nearly two hour power outage right before she asked to be excused to use the bathroom. (4/6/17)

Quote of the Day (victory lap)

"Can I go do a victory lap around the school?" - Question from a high school student after seeing that he did extraordinarily well on his latest exam. (4/5/17)

Quote of the Day (hiking)

"Mister, so yesterday I was looking up a video of [name of hike]. As I was watching it, I thought, 'Hey! That guy looks familiar!' Was that you?" - Enthusiastic question from a high school student who apparently found my (public) YouTube channel. (4/4/17)

Quote of the Day (pancakes)

"Hey Mister! Pancakes or waffles?" - Random question from a small group of high school students seeking a tie-breaker for a heated debate about which is better. My answer: french toast. (4/3/17)

Quote of the Day (inside joke)

Me: "Here's your homework back."
Student: "Thanks."
Student looks at his score and chuckles as I turn my back to look for the next student to return their work.
Me: "What was that for?"
Student: "Oh, nothing. Just an inside joke with myself."
(3/30/17)

Quote of the Day (high school)

Student 1: "Mister, did you ever do drugs?"
Me: "...Why would you ask me that?"
S1: "I just want to know what you were like when you were younger."
Me: "Finish your work then I'll answer that question."
[few minutes later]
S1: "I finished. What's the answer?"
Me: "No."
S1: "Aw. That's no fun. What was high school like when you were a student?"
Me: "All the textbooks were in black & white because color hadn't been invented yet."
S1: "Really! See? That's the kind of detail we would like to know about our teacher."
Me: "We used to write with a feather because we didn't have pens."
S1: "Wow. No wonder you keep all the pencils students leave behind, even the ones with no erasers."
Me: "History class was really short because there wasn't much that had happened yet."
S1 [to other students]: "Wait, why are you laughing? Did I miss something?"
Me: "We could walk to Europe because there was only one continent."
Student 2 [with a wink]: "Did you see any dinosaurs?"
S1: "What!? Oh! Wait! Mister, were you kidding this whole time?" (3/29/17)

Quote of the Day (twitch)

"Mister, she told me yours is her only class that makes her twitch?" - Confession from a high school student about her friend's perception of my class. When seeing the confused look on my face in regards to what she meant by twitching, she imitated her friend's reaction by making a strange facial tic that usually occurs when seeing a difficult question for the first time. (3/28/17)

Quote of the Day (prettier)

Student 1 (to Student 2): "Whoever finishes this question first is prettier."
Student 2 (to me): "Wouldn't it make more sense if it was for who was smarter?"
Me: "I don't know. [Student 1] seems to be farther along than you right now."
Student 1: "Yeah, so I'm smarter AND prettier. Right, Mister?" (3/17/17)

Quote of the Day (respect)

"My respect for you just went WAY up here." - Comment from a student coupled with tiptoes and a hand extension well above her head. This came after I responsed to her asking me if I liked dogs or cats better. (3/09/17)

Quote of the Day (advice)

Student 1 (just as her friend is about to finish her exam): "Don't forget to double check your work."
[pause]
Student 1 (reaching over to take her test back out of the tray where she had turned it in): "I guess I better take my own advice."
(3/15/17)

Quote of the Day (prom dress)

"My mom made a deal with me. She said if I could fit in my dress then I could go to prom. She told me that she didn't want to waste her money." - Comment from a high school senior after she had declined my offer of some of my food she had been eyeing. (3/14/17)

Quote of the Day (right thing)

"Argh! I'm so mad at people for doing the right thing." - Comment of frustration from a student who accidentally left her phone in the bathroom. Apparently, she found out that someone found the phone and brought it to a teacher. When she asked the teacher, she was told that one of that teacher's students recognized the phone and said they would return it to the owner. Somehow the good Samaritan and this student never crossed paths and now I had to deal with the aftermath (no pun intended). (3/13/17)

Quote of the Day (AP Calculus)

"I tried to explain what it was to my dad, but he didn't get it." - Part of one of my AP Calculus student's experience where something she saw on TV reminded her of a topic we covered in class. She continued, "I told him he didn't get it because he never took AP Calculus...and now I'm grounded." (3/10/17)

Quote of the Day (hair)

"Mister, I'm having a bad hair day." - Answer from a high school student after I asked her why she was having such a hard time doing some of her more basic calculations. (3/9/17)

Quote of the Day (bully)

"'Bully or be bullied.' That was our anti-bullying campaign...The teacher didn't really like that one." - Confession from a high school student after a short conversation about bullying at the end of class. (3/8/17)

Quote of the Day (acceptance)

Me: "Did you get accepted to [university name]?"
Student: "I did."
Me: "Congratulations. Wasn't that your first choice?"
Student: "No, it wasn't."
Me: "What!? I wrote you a recommendation for that school. I could've sworn you said it was your first choice."
Student: "It was, but I kept telling myself that it wasn't because I didn't think I could get in."
(3/7/17)

Quote of the Day (together)

"Well...a class that fails together stays together." - Statement from a high school student upon finding out that one of her classmate's test scores matched hers. (3/6/17)

Quote of the Day (mission)

"I'm going to make it my mission to find [student's name] a prom date." - Bold statement from a high school senior vowing to help her classmate. (3/3/17)

Quote of the Day (once upon a time)

"Once upon a time I used to like school." - Comment said with a sigh from a high school senior just as class ended and she was about to take a test in her next class. (3/2/17)

Quote of Day (choking)

"Mister, did you eat a peanut?" - Question from a high school student who unfortunately caught me choking from drinking my water too quickly. (3/1/17)

Quote of the Day (37)

"I'm ready for this! I'm going to get a 37." - Sarcastic comment right before I started reading the instructions to start taking the ACT in class today. (2/28/17)

Quote of the Day (5 year plan)

Student: "Mister, if you could pick anything you wanted knowing you would be successful in five years what would it be?"
Me (suspicious that this sounded like a college entrance essay prompt): "I'm not sure. What would you do?"
Student: "Well, I don't quite know how I could phrase what I want in a good way."
Me (anticipating a meaningful teaching moment): "Maybe I could help. Just give me the rough version so I can help you clean it up a bit. So what do you want to do if you could be successful at it in five years?"
Student: "What's a nice way to say, 'I want to rule the world.'?"
(2/24/17)

Quote of the Day (yearbook)

"Mister, you know that quote I got from you the other day? Well, our teacher liked it so much that she asked if we could take your picture to go with it." - Hesitant plea from a high school student in regards to her past request for a piece of advice to put in the yearbook on how to get ready for the school year. My advice was to prepare physically by waking up early and building a routine a few weeks in advance then to prepare mentally by crying in the corner from 8:00 am to 3:00 pm. (2/22/17)

Quote of the Day (Ottawa)

Student 1 (looking through a booklet): "Where's 'Oh-toe-wah'?"
Student 2: "You mean Ottawa?"
Student 1: "Yeah, that's what I meant."
Student 2: "The way you said it sounded like a Pokemon."
(2/22/17)

Quote of the Day (whiplash)

"Dude, her mood-swings are so bad they give me whiplash." - Comment from a high school student to her peer about one of their teachers. (2/14/17)

Quote of the Day (marathons)

"I'd rather run a marathon every day than go to English class." - Comment from a high school student right after class finished. I later learned that she had a presentation in her next class that was giving her some major anxiety. I heard she did a really good job. (2/16/17)

Quote of the Day (Penn State)

Student 1 (shaking a shirt angrily): "Mister, look at this! My stupid pen leaked so I had to change."
A few moments later, Student 2 enters with Student 1's assignment.
Student 2: "Where do you want me to put this?"
Student 1: "Just set it by my pen-stained shirt."
Student 2: "Why do you have a Penn State shirt?"
Student 1 & Student 2 share confused looks. (2/16/17)

Quote of the Day (chicken)

Student 1 (reacting to a trivia question regarding the name of Charlie Brown's beagle): "That's easy! I named my chicken after him."
Student 2: "You named your chicken 'Snoopy'?"
Student 1: "Yup."
Student 2: "Cool. I named my chicken 'Katsu'."
(2/15/17)

Quote of the Day (chocolate)

Student 1: "Who gave that [box of chocolates] to you?"

Student 2: "This? Oh, [student name] gave this to me...but I think I forgot to say thank you."

Student 1: "What? How did that happen?"

Student 2: "Because, when he gave it to me I think all I said was, 'I can't eat all of this!'"

Student 1: "Then why is it almost all gone now?" (2/14/17)

Quote of the Day (hat)

Student (holding a black cap): "Mister, do you know if you can put hats in the wash?"
Me (reaching over to see the hat's care instructions): "Let's check."
Student: "I wouldn't touch that."
Me: "Why not?"
Student: "Because I dropped it in the toilet."
(2/10/17)

Quote of the Day (hatred)

Student (cheerfully from down the hall): "Mister! I don't hate AP Stats anymore. I'm finally starting to understand what's going on in class."
Me: "Nice! I'm happy to hear th..."
Student: "It's because I've actually been doing the homework. It's amazing how much I can understand once I started doing my homework; I guess I should have been doing my homework all this time."
(2/9/17)

Quote of the Day (food)

"Wasting food is a sin." - Scolding from a high school senior after he saw me throwing away the last slice of a mushy apple that I had forced myself to eat. (2/8/17)

Quote of the Day (password)

"My first password was 'teddybear'." - Confession from a high school student after she overheard me warning her friend not to divulge her school account password to anyone. (2/1/17)

Quote of the Day (photoshop)

Student (whispering right before class started): "Mister! Did you know that someone photoshopped your face on that salt guy?"
Me: *shrug*
Student (continuing to whisper but somewhat more seriously): "Do you know who did it? Are you not going to do anything about it?" (2/3/17)

Quote of the Day (donuts)

Student (after school): "What are you doing?"
Me: "Sending emails to the parents of my students that scored 100%."
Student: "I remember when you did that for me. Last time I got donuts."
...
Student: "Can you email my parents too even though I didn't score 100%?"
Me: "No. Not after the kind of mistake that you made."
Student: "Please! You can even tell them that I knew how to do everything, but just accidentally put three times one is two." (2/3/17)

Quote of the Day (fake)

"For a while I thought it was real, and I thought, 'Whoa! He's really confident!'" - Confession from a former student who went out of her way to tell me that she appreciated the humor of my recent photoshopped picture that I had posted on Instagram. (2/2/17)

Quote of the Day (score)

"It's just my test score." - Sheepish comment from a normally very reserved and upstanding high school student after I asked her what was on a note she passed to a friend as the class wrapped up a test. She was reluctant to show the note to me so I could confirm her story; after seeing her low score I could see why she was so hesitant to show it to me. (2/1/17)

Quote of the Day (judgement)

Me to a student who was absent the day before: "Where were you yesterday?"
Student 1 : "OK, don't judge me. I came to school yesterday, but forgot my bag at home so I went back to go get it."
Student 2: "But you never bring anything in your bag that you use for this class?"
Student 1: "Hey! Don't judge me!"
Student 2: "Mister already judged you when you didn't come to class yesterday." (1/31/17)

Quote of the Day (Ice Palace)

"The only good thing about Hawaii is the Ice Palace." - Controversial statement from a high school student who had been raving about wanting to travel to Singapore. (1/30/17)

Quote of the Day (Jack Daniels)

Student (reading something online): "Jack Daniels!?!"
Me (getting whiplash from turning around so fast and listening to this conversation a lot more attentively): "Excuse me?"
Student (very earnestly): "Who is he? Isn't he a country singer or something?" (1/27/17)

Quote of the Day (house)

Student: "Mister, do you live in a house?"
Me: (confused & irritated look on my face)
Student: "Oh no! I meant 'Do you live in an apartment or a house?'"
(1/26/17)

Quote of the Day (shabu shabu)

Student 1 (talking to her peer about foods she likes to eat): "Shabu shabu!"
Student 2 (who had been eavesdropping on this conversation): "What!?"
Student 1: "Shabu shabu. You know, where they bring you the food and you're supposed to cook it in the pot in front of you."
Student 2: "Oh, I thought you were talking about the whale that's at Sea World." (1/20/17)

Quote of the Day (dumb)

"Oh mister, she's not racist. She's just dumb." - Comment from a high school student in defense of one of his peers who had made a somewhat questionable statement regarding Asians. (1/24/17)

Quote of the Day (stairs)

"Mister...do you...climb those....stairs every day?" - Breathless question from a student who just climbed up to my classroom on the third floor. (1/18/17)

Quote of the Day (bears)

"They're so caring. I think they're better than people." - Strange comment from a high school student as the class was busy doing their work. When I asked what she was talking about she replied, "Bears." Later when I walked around the room I saw that she had a new Care Bears folder on her desk. (1/18/17)

Quote of the Day (quote)

"Mister, I need help." - Comment from a frazzled high school senior who came into my classroom two periods before her scheduled class. When I asked what she needed help with she replied right before I kicked her out, "Can you help me with my senior quote?" (1/18/17)

Quote of the Day (teacher)

"Sometimes Ms. [teacher's name] says, 'At least this is easier than Calculus.' But I have a better grade in this class, so she's really saying English is harder than Math." - Comment from my informant about what's being said about my class on campus. (1/13/17)

Quote of the Day (soccer)

"You came to our game last night!? Wait, why?" - Questions from a high school student after I complimented some of the plays she made at her soccer game the night before. She's the same student that told me I should come out to see her and her teammates (who are also my students) for their last regular season home game. (1/12/17)

Quote of the Day (gorilla)

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I have a crush on a gorilla." - Confession from a high school student after she told me that she enjoyed watching the movie "Sing" over the break. (1/10/17)

Quote of the Day (sneeze)

"When we walked into class yesterday, Mister asked me if I was in nearby classroom earlier in the day." - Confession from a student who sits by the door and apparently sneezed so loudly (and distinctly) that another teacher in an adjacent building heard him. (1/10/17)

Quote of the Day (new year)

"Mister! I haven't seen you since last year!" - Comment from a high school student said with feigned enthusiasm on the first day back from Winter Break. (1/9/17)