Quote of the Day (phone)

Student 1: “Mister, you have no idea how bad Student 2’s addiction to her cell phone is. [Teacher’s name] sent out three emails to our parents this semester. All of them were about us on our phones during class. All of them were because of Student 2.”
[a few hours later]
Student 2 [looking at something funny]: “Can someone take a picture of that? That’s so funny; I want a picture of it.”
Me: “Why don’t you take a picture of it yourself?”
Student 2: “I CAN’T! I had my phone taken away yesterday.” (1/31/19)

Quote of the Day (bronchitis)

Student 1 [announcing to me]: “I just want you to know that I have bronchitis.”
[a few days later]
Student 2 [looking a bit haggard]: “I don’t want to jinx myself, but I’m not feeling too good. I hope [Student 1] didn’t give me her bronchitis.”
Student 1: “You’re sick too? Now we’re bronchi-buddies!” (1/29/19)

Quote of the Day (TA)

Student 1: “How come I’ve never seen a T.A. (teacher’s aide) in this class (Trigonometry)?”
Me: “That’s because in order to help in a class like this, what class does the T.A. have to be in?”
Student 1: “Oh, a class higher than this one.”
Student 2: “Something like AP Trigonometry 5!” (1/29/19)

Quote of the Day (dumb)

Student: “Mister, do I look dumb?”
Me [thinking this was a trick question]: “No. Why would you even ask that?”
Student [attempting to discreetly point to her shaved eyebrow]: “No. Do you think THIS looks dumb?” (1/28/19)

Quote of the Day (workshop)

“What on earth could possibly be so important that they would make you miss our class?” - Question from a student after he found out I would be absent the next day for a mandatory workshop. (1/24/19)

Quote of the Day (shutdown)

Student 1 [entering a classroom darkened by a power outage]: “First the government shuts down, now the power is shut down.”
Student 2: “Next all our bodily functions will shut down.” (1/23/19)

Quote of the Day (slippers)

Student 1: “Mister, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear slippers.”
Student 2: “Yeah, how come you don’t wear slippers?”
Me: “I just think it looks unprofessional.”
Student 1: “So do you never wear slippers?”
(12/17/18)

Quote of the Day (square root)

“Mister! Don’t tell anyone that I just did that.” - Plea from a laughing student in an advanced math class. I had just caught her using the calculator to determine what the square root of one was. (1/18/19)

Quote of the Day (famous)

“That’s what I want to be when I grow up.” - Comment from a student after she told her friend that she wants to be famous. (1/16/19)

Quote of the Day (history)

Student 1: “Please let me just have this.”
Student 2: “No!”
Student 1: “Please! You know what? I’m just going to write this down: ‘January 15th...’”
Student 1: “Noooo!”
Me: “What’s going on?”
Student 2: “Student 1 is trying to say she’s smarter than me.”
Student 1 [who normally struggles in class]: “Just for today only. Please let me be smarter than you just for today.” (1/15/19)

Quote of the Day (drop)

Student: “Mister, did [student name] tell you she was dropping this class?”
Me: “No. She is?”
Student: “Yeah. Friday was her last day, but she made me promise not to tell you until after she was gone.” (1/14/19)

Quote of the Day (allergy)

Student [holding out an open package of cookies]: “Mister, do you want some nutter butters?”
Me: “No, thank you.”
Student: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Yes. I’m allergic to peanuts so I can’t have any.”
Student: “I’m allergic to math homework by the way.” (1/10/19)

Quote of the Day (exercise)

Student 1: “Aw man, it’s raining again. I hope that practice doesn’t get canceled.”
Me: “Practice? What kind of practice?”
Student 1: “Basketball. I need to practice so I can get better and so I can get my exercise.”
Student 2: “What a liar. Mister, every time I call him to go play ball he’s always like, ‘Nah, I’m playing Fortnite.’”
Student 1: “Hey, gotta exercise my thumbs too, you know?” (1/10/19)

Quote of the Day (poster)

Student [walking in with a rolled up poster]: “I have something for you.”
Me [absent mindedly thinking she was asking for permission to keep it in my classroom]: “Just put it there in the corner so no one will touch it. When are you going to pick it up?”
Student: “NO! It’s for your classroom!”
I turned to see a note that read, “For Mr. Hwang because I was bored over the break.” Unrolling the poster further revealed a painting of a hybrid animal that I immediately hung up. (1/9/19)