Quote of the Day (core)

"Are you in core?" - A question blurted out from one intermediate student to her peer. Irritated that her classmate didn't understand what she was asking, she persisted, "RIGHT THERE! On your shirt, it says core!" I looked up to see what the commotion was and saw that the student was wearing his shirt for the school's choir program. (12/15/11)

Quote of the Day (inaccuracy)

"I don't think I learned this." - An intermediate student's wrong way to ask for help on a problem on the end of the semester exam. She's right. She never learned it, but I'm pretty sure I taught it. (12/14/11)

Quote of the Day (S)

"Mister, I thought it was spelled Tuesday, with the S in the middle." - A confused intermediate student who mistook the listing of the number of days left for the day of the week. I had written 'Two days'. (12/13/11)

Quote of the Day (wrong)

"Does that mean it's not right?" - Question from a student who worked through a fairly difficult problem doing all of the steps correctly only to find out he had copied down the question wrong. (12/12/11)

Quote of the Day (synonym)

"Hey strange man, I hardly see you around on campus anymore." - A coworker's greeting to me after not seeing each other at work for almost the entire semester. Unless she really was trying to drop the hint that I'm odd, I'm pretty sure she meant 'stranger'. (12/9/11)

Quote of the Day (misreading)

"Mister, what does 'me noose' mean?" - Completely baffling question coming from TWO different intermediate students today. When I looked at where they were pointing, I saw the source of confusion, the word "minus". (To be fair, I did give them a strict time limit in translating word problems into math symbols and numbers that caused them to read quickly) (12/7/11)

Quote of the Day (compound)

"Upto a week" - Painfully bad error I spotted on a coworker's document. How did I know it wasn't just a typo? Two lines down was written, "Upto one week after quiz is returned." (12/6/11)

Quote of the Day (pedagogy)

"I teach using hormones." - A teacher in today's workshop discussing how she paired up a needy male student to get help from an overzealous female student (12/5/11)

Quote of the Day (sanitary)

"Ew. Other kids' butts have been on there." - A 6 year old kid's admonition after her sibling put his face on a chair in McDonald's (12/3/11)

Quote of the Day (donkey)

"We need one regular education teacher to stay till the end of this meeting. DANIEL! You always volunteer, so I know you enjoy staying after school for these meetings." - Infuriating assumption from a coworker during a meeting. Listen, I volunteered in the past because your (lack of) preparation for these kind of meetings was a lawsuit waiting to happen © (12/1/11)

Quote of the Day (mix 2)

"I'm from the country and the ghetto, I'm countr-etto." - Another amalgamation from the same intermediate student that came up with "Samo-ngan" the other day. (11/28/11)

Quote of the Day (mix 1)

"Is he Samo-ngan?" - A student asking his peer about the nationality of their classmate. When he sensed my confusion he added, "That's when they're Samoan AND Tongan mixed." (11/29/11)

Quote of the Day (gains)

"It doesn't look like you gained too much weight Mister." - An intermediate student's observation after we talked about how our Thanksgiving weekend went. (11/28/11)

Quote of the Day

"Can I trade you my notebook for a bento?" - Freudian slip from a student seeking to give me collateral to borrow a pencil. (11/23/11)

Quote of the Day (eyes)

"For real Mister? You can't roll your eyes?" - A student's reaction after I jokingly told him that I can't roll my eyes because they're too small. Can you guess what my response was to his question? (11/21/11)

Quote of the Day (car)

"Do you have a yellow camaro?" - A silly question from the same intermediate student that thinks I look like Max from Hawaii 5-0. (11/21/11)

Quote of the Day (contagion)

"Stop breathing!" - A friend's playfully unsympathetic solution to prevent me from spreading germs after another one of my coughing fits. (11/19/11)

Quote of the Day (difficulty)

"Mister, is Algebra II harder than Algebra I?" - Question from a slightly confused student. The sad part is that the student who asked this is in my Algebra II class. (11/18/11)

Quote of the Day (career)

"I'm glad that you didn't do that." - A student's compliment after I had just explained that I was actually a Botany major (with a pre-med emphasis) before deciding to become a math teacher. (11/17/11)

Quote of the Day (surprise)

"WHAT?! Mister?! How come you gave me a zero?" - Response from an intermediate student, who refused to do any work solely because one of her peers took her seat after she came into class late. Her friend had caught a glimpse of my grade sheet for today and laughingly blurted out the score to her. (11/15/11)

Quote of the Day (mnemonic)

"Just remember that hyper starts with 'high'." - Unfortunate mnemonic device from an educational video about hyperglycemia (& diabetes). Doesn't hypo(glycemia) also start with "high"? Or maybe I'm just cranky because I had to stay an hour after work to sit through the most unorganized presentation ever. (11/14/11)

Quote of the Day (germs)

"Mister, if I get sick, I'm blaming you." - A student's words of sympathy after I suffered a major coughing fit while teaching. (11/14/11)

Quote of the Day (catch)

"Mister, this is SO..." - Self censoring from the student who claimed a few days earlier that my problems were so easy then proceeded to make mistakes on the next three questions. (11/10/11)

Quote of the Day (violence)

"Can I slap him for you?" - An intermediate student's offer as he sensed my growing frustration with the increasingly childish antics of his classmate. When I declined his offer, he asked, "Do you want me to kick him instead?" How did he read my mind!?!? (11/9/11)

Quote of the Day (bragging)

"SO EASY! Watch this Mister." - An intermediate student's enthusiastic request for me to supervise his work. He then proceeded to get the next three questions wrong. (11/8/11)

Quote of the Day (del)

"Wait Mister, don't delete that!" - A loud plea from a frantically writing student as I was about to erase an important formula from the board. (10/21/11)

Quote of the Day (notes)

"Mister! I think I forgot my notes!" - A student's sudden realization at the beginning of today's test. Normally it wouldn't have bothered me that much, but I had stayed an hour after school to help him make those notes less than 24 hours ago. (11/4/11)

Quote of the Day (surprise)

"Wait! There's a test tomorrow?" - Question from the same student that had been suffering from a Halloween (candy) Hangover despite it being posted on the board every day this week and announced at the beginning of each class. (11/3/11)

Quote of the Day (w/ picture)

"Mister, where did you get that dinosaur TV?" - A high school student's (belated) observation of the size/age of the TV in my classroom. (11/2/11)

Quote of the Day (excuse)

"Aw Mister. I stayed up too late last night." - An intermediate student's use of a Halloween (candy) Hangover as his reason for not being able to answer questions on today's quiz. (11/1/11)

Quote of the Day (Halloween)

"And what kind of scary monstrosity are you supposed to be?" - A senior's playful jab at my lack of a costume. When I replied that I was dressed as his most irritating teacher, his comeback was: "That makes you irritating, not scary." (10/31/11)

Quote of the Day (truth)

"Couldn't they just do it after school or on a weekend?" - Legitimate question from a frustrated student as 6 workers performed necessary repairs on my portable classroom DURING class right before lunch. 4 of them took their lunch right outside my room AFTER class was over. (10/28/11)

Quote of the Day

"Maybe it's one of the job requirements." - A coworker's comment after a few of them laughed it up over a plumber on campus who matched nearly every plumber stereotype (even down to an unfortunate flashing of some plumber's cleavage). (10/27/11)

Quote of the Day (schedule)

"I hate Math. Today's lesson was so hard. I liked yesterday's class better." - An exasperated cry from a student in my Algebra 2 class after learning about Complex Conjugates. I playfully teased her that she probably said that because due to our rotating class schedule, we never had class yesterday. (10/26/11)

Quote of the Day (look-alike)

"Doesn't Mister look like that guy from Hawaii 5-0?" - A 7th grade student's question posed to his friends at the end of class. When I asked if he meant that I looked like the guy with the six pack abs who fought in the ring from last night's episode, his response was an all-too quick "NO!" (10/25/11)

Quote of the Day (race)

"Mister, are you Filipino?" - Random question from an intermediate student that I almost forgot about because I had summarily ignored it during class. (10/24/11)

Quote of the Day (Uncle)

"Is that yours?" - A coworker's question after I somehow got stuck watching my friend's grandchild during our school's football game. As I was walking back to my car, my friend's daughter (the grandchild's mother) mockingly called me "Uncle Daniel" since she obviously had already heard about my adventure in babysitting. (10/21/11)

Quote of the Day (anger)

"I'm about to go into Chewbacca mode!" - An eleven year old at a dinner after someone swiped his dessert while he wasn't looking. (10/20/11)

Quote of the Day (battle)

"I'm gonna battle with a senior." - An intermediate student's answer after I asked him where he was going after class finished. Before I could warn him about the hazards of fighting, he sensed my concern and quickly interjected, "Yu-Gi-Oh cards! I'm gonna battle him with Yu-Gi-Oh cards." Now I'm more worried about the high school senior who still plays with Yu-Gi-Oh cards. (10/19/11)

Quote of the Day (shopping)

"Hey! I didn't know you go (food) shopping too." - Comment from a friend's mother that I bumped into at the supermarket. (10/18/11)

Quote of the Day (sputum)

"Ew Mister! He spit on your white board!" - *sigh* - Self explanatory snitching from an intermediate student. When I confronted the dribbler about his repulsive act, his excuse was that his board was dirty and that he was trying to clean it. (10/17/11)

Quote of the Day (ziploc)

"Man! How come none of my teachers have a ziploc bag?!" - Exasperated response from an intermediate student after she interrupted my lesson to ask if I had any lying around in my classroom. (10/14/11)

Quote of the Day

"I told her to come sit by you." - Comment from a friend that I was sitting next to in a workshop after she got a coworker's attention just to point to/gloat about the treats that I brought to the table. (10/13/11)

Quote of the Day (bonus)

"You called my house didn't you?" - A student's random comment at the end of the first day back from Fall Break. I had called his parents over 10 days earlier to inform them of his excellent test score. The student beamed as he proceeded to tell me that his dad greeted him with a surprise $10 when he got home. (10/11/11)

Quote of the Day

"What did you do over the break? Did you get a girlfriend?" - A nosy 7th grader's questions after I politely asked him what he did over the 10 day Fall Break. (10/11/11)

Quote of the Day

"You take naps!?" - Surprised reaction after from a friend after I told him that I was going to take a nap after a hike. What's wrong with taking naps? (10/1/11)

Quote of the Day

"This is such BS!" - Angry reaction by a student after seeing his poor test score (19%). This is the same student who draws in class and refuses to do more than one classwork problem because, "I got this." (9/30/11)

Quote of the Day

"You should make this your 'Picture of the Day'." - A reader's suggestion for today's entry after a coworker doffed his shirt so he could read the text on it for us at lunch. (9/29/11)

Quote of the Day

"Because it sounded funny when you said it." - A student's reason for grinning as I chided him for telling Yo Momma jokes instead of doing his work. I guess it was because I called it a "your" momma joke by accident since my mind was in proper English mode. (9/28/11)

Quote of the Day

"Oh good. I'm glad it's not just me." - A teacher's reaction after finding out that the student who is driving me insane is doing the same thing to her. (9/27/11)

Quote of the Day

"I had to go home and take a dump." - A student's uncomfortably loud response after I quietly asked him why he was 20+ minutes late to class. (9/23/11)

Quote of the Day pt . 2

"Maybe they've never grown a plant." - A friend's comment after he heard my story about a coworker's use of the word "butt" in the idiom: nip it in the bud. (9/21/11)

Quote of the Day pt. 1

"We're gonna have to nip it in the butt." - A coworker's malapropism during a meeting about a student's recently developed truancy problem. (9/20/11)

Quote of the Day

"Hey! Where are the kids?" - An 11th grade student's expression of surprise when he noticed that three 9th graders were absent from class today. (9/21/11)

Quote of the Day

"Last year my teacher taught us how to find the greatest common factor, but I didn't get it. This is the first time I get it now." - An intermediate student's honest confession that felt a whole lot more like a compliment. (9/20/11)

Quote of the Day

"Hey! It's the Teacher of the Year." - A coworker's playful assumption that the reason why I was late for lunch was because I was sacrificing my time to help students. I was late because I made students stay after class to clean up a mess they made. (9/19/11)

Quote of the Day w/ Link

"No! It's 87!" - An intermediate student's argument with my co-worker about the answer to a multiplication problem. What two numbers were being multiplied? 8 and 7. This almost replaces the infamous "IDN" Quote of the Day as my new favorite. (9/16/11)

Quote of the Day

"Mister, was Math easier when you were young?" - An intermediate student's question after completing his work on a particularly difficult topic. When I asked if he meant to ask me if I was good at Math when I was younger, he replied, "No. I was just wondering if there was less to learn back then." (9/14/11)

Quote of the Day

"If I don't finish my test, can I come to your house and finish it?" - A 7th grader who likes to show off to his peers that he knows where I live. (9/14/11)

Quote of the Day w/ photo

"Why is the floor crooked back here?" - A student's observation after I asked him to move to the back of the room. (9/6/11) Note: The desk in the back of this photo is completely level if it's moved to anywhere else in the classroom.

Quote of the Day

"We are experiencing internet problems district wide" - Memo sent out to the faculty today...via e-mail. (9/12/11)

Quote of the Day

"And my hobby is... (pause)... being a nerd." - Part of a friend's self introduction during a meeting this afternoon. (9/11/11)

Quote of the Day

"McDonald's was slipperier." - A friend's witty observation as I mentioned that the reason for my struggles on the trail was the slick roots. We both had shared stories earlier of nearly slipping and falling in separate incidences at the same McDonald's restaurant. (9/10/11)

Quote of the Day

"I almost banged this little old Asian lady in front of school this morning." - A high school student's somewhat inappropriate sounding exclamation as he entered the classroom. Before he could find out why his friends were snickering at his distressing near-accident, I told him to stop trying to run over my mom just because he doesn't like my class. Crisis averted. (9/9/11)

Quote of the Day

"How come you never picked me to be in your class this year?!" - Question from a former student that I ran into on campus. I wasn't aware I could draft students into my classes. (9/7/11)

Quote of the Day

"I know what it is!!! It's Lindsey Lingle." - A student's enthusiastic response before I could answer his classmate's question of what our Principal (Donna Lindsey)'s name is. (9/7/11)

Quote of the Day

"Ew! You touched a maggot." - A student who was in my room before school started and saw me pick up the larva (with a napkin). (9/6/11)

Quote of the Day

"Really? It doesn't look that clean." - A friend's biting observation after I told him that I had just finished cleaning my yard before he came over. (9/3/11)

Quote of the Day

"And that was an 8th grader that did that!" - A coworker's surprise twist ending to a story she was telling me about a student who matched the font type and font size of a (mid-quarter) progress report, pasted the print-out to the progress report then xeroxed the whole thing in an attempt to dupe the parents into thinking he/she got straight A's. (9/1/11)

Quote of the Day

"Thanks for your help." - Four words from a student that made my day. (8/31/11)

Quote of the Day (w/ photo)

"I could keep this file, but I'll give it to you because your desk is so neat and you're so organized." - A coworker who obviously must have a messier desk than me. Either that or she REALLY didn't want to keep that file she gave me. (8/30/11)

Quote of the Day

"Oh yeah! I get extra credit!" - Exclamation from a student just because she said "Hi" to me as I passed by her on campus. (8/29/11)

Quote of the Day

"B-I-Z-Y" - An intermediate student's confession after I found out he was laughing about his misspelling of the word "busy" on an English assignment. (8/25/11)

Quote of the Day (w/ photo)

"Whoa! Did you get a new phone?" - An intermediate student's reaction after seeing the graphing calculator that I use for my high school Algebra 2 class. (8/23/11)

Quote of the Day

"You're still in produce?" - Surprised comment from a friend who entered the supermarket at the same time as me and was wrapping up her shopping just as I was inching away from an impromptu parent teacher conference next to the vegetables. (8/24/11)

Quote of the Day

"Okay. You pass." - Praise from a student after she quizzed me on her name in the second week of school. (8/11/11)

Quote of the Day

"Can you write me a pass so I can finish one more problem?" - A student's request near the end of class since he was so intent on completing his work. Request denied! Have to always leave them wanting more. (8/22/11)

Quote of the Day

"Mister, how come you drive a girly car?" - A former student's greeting as she walked through my classroom door. When I asked why she considered it a "girly car", she said it was because it was clean and shiny. (8/10/11)

Quote of the Day

"I've worked here for how many years now and I still don't know what our bell schedule is." - A coworker's confession after I asked her why some students were being released from an assembly 10 minutes early. (8/17/11)

Quote of the Day

"It's not simple to me; you just saved me so much time." - Words from a coworker after I rejected his offer to buy me lunch for helping him set up his grade book. (8/16/11)

Quote of the Day

"Mister, did anybody turn in a missing book to you?" - Not exactly the first thing you want to hear from a student just one school day after checking out textbooks. (8/15/11)

Quote of the Day

"'Where's your evidence?' Did you use that as your Quote of the Day yet?" - Harassment from a coworker urging me to use her tale of woe as an entry in my (infamous) blog. (8/12/11)

Quote of the Day

"She was worse than my students" - A friend's description of a former coworker, who seemed to be more focused on her phone than her job. (8/10/11)

Quote of the Day

"It's OK. She's had kids." - A coworker's rationalization after a friend apologized for making a potentially off-color comment in front of a female coworker.

(8/10/11)

Quote of the Day

"[He] left for the Dark Side. You all know what the Dark Side is right?... (silence)... MATH!" - An administrator's unappreciated attempt at humor while trying to explain why a teacher wasn't at today's meeting. (8/9/11)

Quote of the Day

"Mister. Can I see your calves?" - Random question from a 7th grader in the middle of class. He just wanted to compare calf size. (8/8/11)

Quote of the Day

"You don't sound anything like Pauly D." - A 7th grader's random comment to my co-teacher that she thinks looks like the Jersey Shore star(?). (8/5/11)

Quote of the Day

"I'm gonna come by your classroom and pick up some paper." - A coworker's abrupt request(?) to a colleague after it was publicly made known that he never ordered any paper for the year . (8/3/11)

Quote of the Day

"I read your Quote of the Day everyday and keep hoping the next one will be from me!" - An enthusiastic reader's request for a shout out. (8/2/11)

Quote of the Day

"I have to warn you now that we're in close quarters. I just had Taco Bell." - An adult's confession as she moved her chair closer to mine when more people came into the room for a meeting. (8/1/11)

Quote of the Day

"I'll send it after school or maybe in the middle of the day during my prep... Whichever comes first." - Response from an obviously frazzled teacher on the first day of school about a document I had requested last week. (8/1/11)

Quote of the Day

"It works now. All I had to do was restart it." -- A coworker's exclamation a few minutes after I returned to my room distraught that I couldn't link a networked printer even after trying for over half an hour. (7/27/11)

Quote of the Day

"Daniel just got back from Japan, but I know he was looking forward to seeing this." - One of my administrators speaking to the entire faculty about the monotonous bloodborne pathogens video that we have to watch each start of the school year. Good thing I wasn't asleep when she said that. (7/26/11)

Quote of the Day

"It is Hawaii's diversity that defines us, not divides us." - Governor Abercrombie's message to the 6 11-year old Junior Ambassadors of various ethnic backgrounds selected to represent Hawaii at a children's convention in Fukuoka, Japan. (7/12/11)

Quote of the Day

"Congratulations! I heard you're getting married." - Greeting from my uncle's friend. When he saw the confused look on my face, my uncle started laughing. Apparently he  mischievously told his friend that I was going to Japan to find a wife instead of being a chaperone for a children's convention. (7/8/11)

Quote of the Day

"That's SO Irish!" - An eavesdropper's interjection to a conversation I was having with a friend about Kobe Beef. When I asked him why he thought the obviously Japanese product was Irish, he admitted that he thought we were talking about corned beef. (7/3/11)

Quote of the Day

"Bears?" - A visiting friend's first question posed in fear after I told her there are some unwanted animals that roam around freely in my yard... in Hawaii. (6/22/11)

Quote of the Day

"I have to make a roast for Father's Day." - My uncle's disappointed cry about his wife's request for Father's Day dinner. (6/18/11)

Quote of the Day

"She ordered you some coconut ice cream while you were gone." - My uncle's ratting out of the secret dessert order my aunty made while I had stepped outside to answer a phone call. (6/17/11)

Quote of the Day

"I never knew that picking up rubbish could be this much fun." - Confession from an 11-year old who just half an hour earlier cringed at the request of picking up a wet napkin during the start of a beach clean-up service project at Waikiki. (6/11/11)

Quote of the Day

"As soon as you said you live near the North Shore, I lost all pity for you." - An acquintance's retraction after she initially told me she felt sorry for me because of the one hour drive home I had to make from Waikiki. (6/10/11)

Quote of the Day

"I just finished checking out yesterday." - A confession from a coworker that I ran into today. Teachers were supposed to be checked out a week ago. (6/3/11)

Quote of the Day

"Are you still going to have as many interesting quotes?" - An avid(?) reader's worry about the lack of blog fodder once school is over. (5/27/11)

Quote of the Day

"Nobody knows how to make a better shoyu chicken." - A friend's bold declaration during a conversation about school lunches. (5/29/11)

Quote of the Day

"I thought that was cat food." - Remark from a coworker as he explained why he asked what the little can was on my car floor. (5/27/11)

Question of the Day

"Do you know what these are?" - Query from a hiker who had a full bag of mountain apples. When I made it to the (not-so-) secret spot to pick some, there were none left! (5/30/11)

Quote of the Day

"I'm a yellow-light magnet, nice to meet you." - Greeting from a cashier after I apologized for having the curse of always making the line I'm standing in take longer than normal. (5/29/11)

Quote of the Day

"Why? There's nothing bad on cable!" - A disappointed student's response after I denied him use of the classroom's TV on the last day of school. (5/26/11)

Quote of the Day

"Why are they congratulating him? He didn't even do any of the work?" - A female coworker's bitter but playful(?) jab after a male teacher was recognized in a faculty meeting for recently having a baby. (5/26/11)

Quote of the Day

"This test is so hard!" - Comment from a student who just minutes earlier was bragging to his friend that he didn't study for any of his finals. (5/25/11)

Quote of the Day

"You would've nominated me for an award right?" -- One student's reaction after he found out I missed the "deadline" to submit names for today's awards assembly. (5/24/11)

Quote of the Day

"Looks like we chose the right person this year." - Comment from someone attending a workshop for the group that will send me to Japan this summer with a short layover in Korea. At one point, I could speak both languages... guess that means I have more to study. (5/21/11)

Quote of the Day

"Do you have a pass?" - A coworker's question to me as I was walking on campus during class. (5/20/11)

Quote of the Day

"OOH! are we watching a movie today? Then why is the TV over there?" - A student's excited greeting as he entered the classroom. I hadn't moved the TV in months. (5/18/11)

Quote of the Day

"You know what's worse than desperate seniors? Desperate parents." - A veteran teacher at a workshop speaking about high school graduation. (5/18/11)

Question of the Day

"Mister, can I break your desk?" - A student's question as she was peeling up the writing surface from her desk. (5/18/11)

Quote of the Day

"I got kicked out of my class, can I stay with your class?" - A student of mine trying to find a place to lay low from security... if a rabble rouser got kicked out of one class why would I want them to stay in mine? (5/17/11)

Quote of the Day

"No! Leave it up there till Monday." - A student's response after I started erasing all the formulas she needed for Monday's test. When I asked her what she does with the worksheets/notes that I provide her with every day, she replied, "Oh those? I throw them away." (5/13/11)

Quote of the Day

"Mister, do you like being a teacher?" - Question posed to me by a student  after her classmate kept doing something annoying to her. (5/11/11)

Quote of the Day

"Is that bad?" - A student after she heard me warn her friend not to go to the beach because of the brown water advisory. (5/10/11)

Quote of the Day

"Mister, are you Cuban?" - A 7th grader's random question after everyone was finished with their work. When I asked him why, he replied, "Because then if you had a grenade launcher, you'd be just like Scarface." (5/9/11)

Quote of the Day

"Mister! Did you know that she has an 'A' for your class?" -- A 7th grader asking me if I knew that I gave her friend in the class a high mark for the quarter. (5/6/11)

Quote of the Day

"What are you doing here? This is my neighborhood." - A student as I passed by & greeted her after dropping off my friend. (5/4/11)

Quote of the Day

"I don't know how to spell my mom's name." - A student's confession when I questioned her if she wrote  down her mother's name correctly. (5/3/11)

Quote of the Day

"No! I didn't say 'eagle'." - A frustrated cry from a student after i deliberately misheard her question of what an ego is. (4/29/11)

Quote of the Day

"I should probably close my mouth huh?" -- An eleven year old as she swatted bugs as they flew overhead. (5/1/11)

Quote of the Day

"I was carrying around one chicken and then it took a ****" - My student's response after I asked him why he had such a ratty looking backpack compared to the nice one he had just a few days ago. (4/28/11)

Quote of the Day

"Mister. Why does it say 10 on there?" - A student pointing out to me that I wrote the date on the board as 2010. Almost 5 months into 2011 and I still can't get it right. (4/27/10... I mean 11)

Quote of the Day

"It's the only place we can play without getting caught." - A (male) 7th grader's reason for playing pogs... in the bathroom. (4/25/11)

Quote of the Day

"My ex boyfriend was stalking me. Then I found out he's now dating my worst enemy." - I don't know what's more worrisome: my 12 year old student already has a stalker, or that she already has a nemesis, or the fact that she told me all this before greeting me. (4/25/11)

Quote of the Day

"You usually don't know you're dehydrated till you're dehydrated." - Common sense advice from an acquaintance who is used to working long hours outdoors. (4/23/11)

Quote of the Day

"Why not? You're single." -- A friend's response after I told her I couldn't afford the $100 she was demanding I leave in an Easter Egg for her to find. (4/21/11)

Quote of the Day

A female 7th grader to her (male) friend, "No, if you like guys, you're gay, but if you like girls, you're lez." I wonder how well they're paying attention in health class.  (4/21/11)

Quote of the Day

"Oh! Today's Wednesday." -- The sudden realization from a coworker who had called to warn me about server problems the school's testing site was experiencing. I was scheduled to have my students take the test...on Tuesday. (4/20/11)

Quote of the Day

"Mister, it's not letting me log in." - Same quote, same situation, different reason. Last time we took the Hawaii State Assessment on the computers, I had a student say this to me since she had typed her full name in the field that says: First Name. This time, a different student called me over only to find he had typed his student ID number in the filed marked: First Name. (4/19/11)

Quote of the Day

"You have the roots of a 16 or 17 year old." - My dentist explaining why my teeth are always so sensitive while pointing to the abnormally large roots on the x-ray image of my molars. (4/18/11)

Quote of the Day

"And then he rewound it three times." - An intermediate student's recollection of her science teacher showing a birthing video that grossed out all of the students so much that I could hear their squeals a few classrooms away. (4/15/11) 

Quote of the Day

"I found out every time they come, we pay them $2,900... each." - An administrator's lament over the amount of money being spent for 3 educational consultants to come to our school due to No Child Left Behind. (4/13/11)

Quote of the Day

"Most teachers are a gregarious bunch, but she won't even say 'hi' to me." - A friend's complaint about one of our coworkers that he greets as he passes by everyday. (4/13/11)

Quote of the Day

"Why is it in quotes?" - A friend's observation of a new restaurant's name that was printed on paper that was already starting to fall down. (4/7/11)

Quote of the Day

"How do you stay so skinny?" - Compliment from a coworker upon seeing my stash of treats that I brought to a meeting. (4/5/11)

Quote of the Day

"Can you please turn that off!?" - A student's plea to his peer the day after she got her first cell phone and was trying to secretly text in class...it's not that he was so intent on learning, but rather she had no clue how to turn off the keypad tones. (4/6/11)

Quote of the Day

"Daniel said it was worthless." - A friend's interpretation when asked by another coworker how yesterday's meeting went. All I had said was that I didn't remember much from the uneventful union meeting. (4/6/11) 

Quote of the Day

"Can I at least take a picture of it? My mom won't believe me without proof." - Excited reaction from one of my students upon seeing her test score. (4/5/11)

Quote of the Day

"Couldn't you have just put a couple of golf balls in a sock?" - A friend's suggestion based on my shameless uploading of the picture of my foot massager. (4/4/11)

Awkward Quote of the Day

"Aw! I'm so glad you bought a ticket from one of my tennis players." - Our school's tennis coach's excited reaction at the sight of me supporting their BBQ fund raiser. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I got the ticket for free from a friend who didn't want to make the drive to pick up the plate lunch. (4/2/11)

Best News of the Day

"I have to leave at 10:10 for a dentist appointment." - Comment from my noisiest student at 10:00 on a Friday. The rest of the class was so tranquil. (4/1/11)

Quote of the Day

"Hitler?" - A coworker's smart response to a friend's attempt at trying to remember the name of a substitute who had a German last name. (3/31/11)

Quote of the Day

"I was just explaining to her how to do this." - My student's poor attempt at lying when I asked her why she was talking while I was trying to teach. How did I know she was lying? She was smiling while talking, nobody smiles while they talk about math. (3/30/11)

Quote of the Day

"That would be really cool if they made a bottle that kept water cool all day." -- Apparently one of my 7th grade students has never seen an insulated water bottle. I might have to bring one in some day and blow his mind. (3/29/11)

Message of the Day

Makes you wonder what exactly was taken to elicit this poorly written sign on a teacher workroom fridge. (3/23/11)

Quote of the Day

"Mister, you spelled forty wrong. It's f-o-u-r-t-y." -- A 7th grade student's attempt at trying to find a flaw in my lesson. (3/4/11)

Quote of the Day

"I picked up an iPad2 the other day. They're pretty sweet." - A friend's comment about the new tablet. When I asked him how much he paid for it, he performed a lifting motion with his hands and replied, "Oh, I don't have one, I just picked one up." (3/21/11)

Quote of the Day

"Spring Break was so short!" -- Nearly unanimous complaint from my 3rd period upon their entrance to class after 8 days without school. (3/21/11)

Quote of the Day

"For all I know it could say McLovin." -- A cashier's quip after I had apologized for accidentally covering my name on my driver's license during an ID check. (3/14/11)

Quote of the Day

"Oh! It is in my bag." -- A student's discovery after harassing me all during lunch to go back to unlock my classroom because she thought she forgot her iPod there. (3/10/11)

Quote of the Day

"No! What he said was spelled with a 'PH' not an 'F' so it's ok." -- One student interrupting the scolding I was giving his classmate who had just dropped the f-bomb in class. It took about 20 seconds for him to figure out what I was saying when I told him I would give him a 'PH' for his assignment if he didn't mind his own business and finish his work. (3/8/11)

Quote of the Day

"I just wanted to say 'hi'." -- A 8th grade student's reason for insistently calling for me from across the room while I circulated to help with the classwork. *sigh* (3/8/11)

Quote of the Day

"This lunch wasn't worth the $4.70." -- A coworker's complaint about the recently increased cost of school lunch...or was it about the chicken nuggets? (3/7/11)

Quote of the Day

"Composting worms." -- An 11-year old girl's answer when asked if she had any pets. (3/5/11)

Quote of the Day

"I'm gonna feel sick on Friday." -- A coworker's plan that was accidentally revealed during Wednesday's meeting. (3/2/11)

Quote of the Day

"Oh, I thought you said 'molested'." -- My student's misunderstanding when I told him about the student in another school who was ARRESTED for threatening to fight a teacher. (3/3/11)

Quote of the Day

"I'm just trying to get you back into hiking shape." -- A coworker's selfless reason for asking me to help move a cartful of laptops down a flight of stairs. (2/22/11)

Quote of the Day

"Can you call my dad please?" -- A student's unusual plea after he found out he had ousted his friend for the highest grade in the class. (2/28/11)

Quote of the Day

"I have you on speed dial." -- Words from my Dept. Chair this morning. I don't know whether to take it as an ominous warning or a genuine compliment. (1/26/11)

Quote of the Day

"You know our sub for 1st period? She had the biggest pit stains!" -- Normally I ignore these little overshares from my students, but now I'm curious who was sweating so much from that early in the morning. (2/24/11)

Quote of the Day

"Look, you can see her criticals." -- A student's exclamation after her friend's fingernails were momentarily projected on the screen. (2/24/11)

Quote of the Day

"I know how you feel. I never went to the dentist for almost 15 years." -- Confession from my dentist's receptionist after I admitted how nervous I was to come in for an appointment. She later cautioned me not to follow her example since she ended up going to the dentist every weekend for a couple of months to get work done (2/23/11)

Quote of the Day

"You're so stupid. It's because  they're not in the Hawaiian alphabet." -- A student's condescending repetition to her friends of the lame reason I concocted so she would stop asking me silly questions like why there was an A-Building and a Z-Building on campus but no C-Building or X-Building. (I know,I know. I'm horrible)  (2/22/11)

Quote of the Day

"Aw. I went the wrong way." -- I hiker who had a sackful of ti leaves that  I met on the Hauula Loop Trail. He had asked me if I had seen the rest of his group; too bad the rest of his ti leaf gathering party was on the Maakua Ridge Trail (2/21/11)

Quote of the Day

"There's only one thing I put 'Strongly Disagree'." -- A student's confession after taking his school quality survey. The statement in question: I enjoy coming to school. (2/16/11)

Question of the Day

"Do you make this spaghetti or does it come from a can?" -- A coworker's borderline insulting question to/attempt at making small talk with one of the lunch ladies at the cafeteria. (2/17/11)

(just look at it...he's kind of got a point)

Quote of the Day

"You're so short." -- From a 4'9" 7th grader when she saw me next to one of her classmates who is already almost as tall as me. (2/16/11)

Quote of the Day

"I'm a man!" -- A 3 year old girl in the doctor's office waiting room sporting a fake mustache. (2/14/11)

Hyperbole of the Day

"This is the worst Valentine's Day ever!" -- One of my 7th graders who apparently didn't receive a single treat from her peers. I felt sorry for her and shared a candy that I had in my drawer which brought a huge smile to her face. Moments later I saw her spitting it out saying how disgusting it was. So much for gratitude. (2/14/11)

Quote of the Day

"Look Mister, the ricola from yesterday is still there." -- One student's observation about the fallen cough drop from the day before that was never cleaned up. I don't know what's worse, the fact that the cough drop was slowly melting in this heat and wasn't properly disposed of OR the reaction from two other students who started chanting "rrriiiicccccooollllaaa" in the middle of class.  (2/11/11)

Quote of the Day

"It certainly looks like you haven't been starving." -- Condescending observation from my not-so-favorite neighbor after she asked me how I was doing living on my own. (2/9/11)

Quote of the Day

"And Daniel is just chopped liver." -- A friend's graceful light-hearted save after a coworker praised two other teachers in the room while only omitting me. (1/20/11)

Quote of the Day

"Ooh! I love David Busters!" -- One student's reaction after she found out my brother's name was David. (2/4/11)

Quote of the Day

"Does she ever talk about me?" -- A lovelorn 8th grader asking me for any signs that the girl he's stalking likes him. (2/1/11)

Quote of the Day

"Oh, I thought it might be a tumor." -- A 7th grade student after I asked him why he interrupted today's lesson to ask me what that lump was on my leg. It was my keys in my pocket. (2/2/11)

Quote of the Day

"I concur wholehardedly." -- Part of a coworker's message sent via email to the entire faculty. Its collled spel chek peopol! :P (2/1/11)

(Self-Averting) Crisis of the Day

"That is SO wrong! See? I dyed my hair black two weeks ago and it's already turning brown again." -- A student's interjection as I was desperately trying to find a polite way to skirt around her friend's question of what the phrase "Once you go black you never go back" meant. (1/31/11)

Spam of the Day

From my inbox at work. How did they know I lacked some?

Quote of the Day

"OK, you're hired." -- From the caterer as I helped collect stray bottles for recycling and consolidate some of their dishes during clean up. (1/27/11)

Quote of the Day

"I was just wondering when Mister would have kids so he could bring them to class someday." -- A student's justification for asking me, "When are you going to get married?" (1/25/11)

Quote of the Day

"Nah. That would be a waste of eggs." -- A student's quick cover after I caught her saying that she would egg my house if she knew where I live. (1/24/11)

Quote of the Day

"Eh." -- A colleague's response to a yes-or-no question. She proceeded to explain that, "Eh is between a yes and a no." (1/22/11)

Quote of the Day

"I'm gonna have a good doodoo tonight." -- Overheard from a kid who was enjoying the Sam Choy's Breakfast Buffet. (1/23/11)

Quote of the Day

"Why do the short weeks seem so long?" -- A coworker's complaint during lunch despite having had a holiday on Monday. (1/20/11)

Question of the Day

"Wait! You don't watch Jersey Shore?" -- A student's stunned response after I answered his peer's query of whether or not I watch that show. (1/11/11)

Quote of the Day

"It's FIVE! GOD!" -- 8th grader's overreaction when I kept telling him that 3 times 2 is NOT 5. When he finally realized he was wrong, his response was, "I knew that." (1/18/11)

Quote of the Day

"Why do parents do that?" -- A coworker's question after seeing a unique (aka weird) way of spelling a fairly common name. (1/13/11)

Quote of the Day

"Got enough rain?" -- Neighbor's greeting in the morning following nearly 10 hours of showers/thunderstorms. (1/13/11)

Quote of the Day

"Mister! You need to put in an elevator to your class." -- A 7th grade student's first comment after climbing the stairs to my classroom...there are only 8 steps. (1/12/11)

Quote of the Day

"But they can't stop drumming, Mister. They're Tongan." -- A student's smart remark after I told them that the only negative thing the observers had to say about our class was the excessive drumming & tapping. (1/11/11)

Quote of the Day

"Because of you, now I'm gonna be grumpy when I get home." -- A student's semi-serious response to being called back to the classroom right when school was over because she was the only one to not properly put away her materials. (1/10/11)

Quote of the Day

"That's our principal? I didn't know who she was when my mom was yelling at her the other day." -- A student's brutally honest reflection upon learning that the visitor in our classroom was the school's principal. (1/7/11)

Quote of the Day

"Here Mister, I brought you a new stopwatch/timer thingy." -- Surprise announcement from a student who I can only assume got tired of looking at my old  jury rigged one:

(1/6/11)

Quote of the Day

"It's kind of backwards like the horse leading the carriage." -- From the guest speaker at today's faculty meeting. (1/5/11)

Quote of the Day

"I fell off a roof." -- A student's response after I asked him why he said his winter break was not that good. (1/4/11)

Question of the Day

"Can I call you Daniel?" -- A 7th grader's question to me in class. (9/30/10) I know this is from a while back. Just getting ready for the start of school tomorrow.