Quote of the Day (beach)

“Mister! I was at the beach when I got the alert. I was like, ‘I gotta go back to school and fix my test.’” - Confession from a student regarding where she was when she saw her grade after I inputted her final score. (12/19/19)

Quote of the Day (nice)

Student 1 [to me]: “You know those days when your parents are really nice to you in the mornings?”
Student 2 [interrupting]: “Yeah, it’s called ‘only on your birthday’.” (12/18/19)

Quote of the Day (dentist)

Student: “My mom said, ‘Let’s go out for breakfast.’ and the next thing I know we’re pulling up to the dentist office.”
Me: “Wait, so your mom had to trick you to go to the dentist?”
Student: “Yeah. She said, ‘I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t have come if I just said we’re going to the dentist.’” (12/17/19)

Quote of the Day (evacuation drill)

Student 1: “If there was a real reason to evacuate. I’d be one of those that would save others instead of leaving.”
Me [sarcastically because of my suspicions]: “Thank you. How thoughtful of you.”
Student 2: “[Student 1] doesn’t want to evacuate only because it’s too far to walk.” (12/12/19)

Quote of the Day (invitation)

Student 1 [to Student 2 during lunch]: “Wait! Am I invited?
Student 2: “Of course! Everyone in this room is invited.”
Student 3: “Everyone? Even Mr. Hwang?”
Student 2: “EVERYONE. You’re coming right Mr. Hwang?”
Me [minding my own business]: “What? To where now?”
Student 2: “To our after-prom party! You’re invited. After you chaperone the dance, you can chaperone our party.” (12/11/19)

Quote of the Day (food)

Student: “Mister, do you have any food?”
Me [hesitantly]: “Yes...”
Student: “Do you have any food you can give me?”
Me: “No. Besides, I already gave you food.”
Student: “What!? That was last week. Please, I don’t have any food, and my iron levels are low.”
Me: “I bailed you out once; it’s not my job to feed you. Wait! What is that?”
Student [pulling a banana out of her bag]: “It’s my banana.”
Me: “I thought you just told me you didn’t have any food?”
Student: “Well, yeah. This banana got all smushed in my bag.” (12/9/19)

Quote of the Day (worst week)

Student 1 [after I called him out for not staying on task]: “Sorry Mister, I’m just like having the worst week...of my life.”
Student 2 [to Student 1]: “You do realize that it’s Monday and only the start of the week, right?” (12/9/19)

Quote of the Day (struggling)

“[Student name], why are you struggling? This really isn’t that hard.” - Comment of exasperation from a student who was getting irritated with helping her friend. Yesterday, the same student had tried to wake up this classmate who had been falling asleep through parts of the lesson only to have the friend respond with a grouchy, “Shut up.” (12/6/19)

Quote of the Day (terminal velocity)

Student 1: “Don’t you think babies are cute?”
Student 2: “No.”
Student 1: “What!? Why not?”
Student 2: “They’re annoying when they cry after they fall.”
Student 1: “They’re crying because they got hurt.”
Student 2: “It’s impossible for little kids to reach terminal velocity when they fall. They’re so short, they don’t have very far to fall. So they’re only crying because they were surprised, not because they’re hurt.” (12/5/19)

Quote of the Day (lesson)

Student: “Mister, how long does it take you to make one lesson?”
Me: “This particular lesson took about seven hours.”
Student: “Seven hours!?”
Me: “Yeah. Why are you asking anyway?”
Student: “One of my teachers told me to ask a good teacher how long it takes for them to prepare.”
Me: “Good teachers? Why are you asking me then? Why don’t you ask [teacher name], your favorite teacher?”
Student: “[Teacher name]!? They probably plan their lesson as they drive to school. I can tell that they’re just winging it.” (12/4/19)

Quote of the Day (laptop)

Student [pulling a shiny new laptop out of her bag]: “Mister, can I charge this while I’m here in class?”
Me: “I’m not going to be responsible for it, but leave it closer to my desk so less people will look at it or touch it. That’s such a nice laptop.”
Student: “Yeah. I just got it. It’s a really nice one.”

Student [several minutes after class finished]: “I’m back.”
Me: ???
Student [points to her laptop that was still near my desk]: “I just got this last week, and I’m already forgetting it.”
(12/3/19)

Quote of the Day (Cyber Monday)

Student 1 returns to her desk after getting the notes that she missed from me.
Student 2: “Did Mister charge you any money for that?”
Student 1: “No. Why?”
Student 2: “He said he would charge people extra for those notes.”
Student 1: “What!? That’s so mean.”
Student 2: “You’re lucky. You probably got them for cheaper because today’s just like Cyber Monday, but...Classroom Monday.” (12/2/19)