Student 1: “I don’t rank instruments, but the french horn is clearly superior to other instruments.”
Student 2: “No. It’s the flute!”
Student 3: “What!? The flute?”
Student 2: “Yes! In terms of portability it’s the best.”
Student 3: “Yeah, but you can barely hear it.”
Student 2: “Yes! That’s also a pro.”
Student 3: “Why? You’re supposed to hear it in a band.”
Student 2: “Now if you mess up, the flute is so quiet that no one can tell if you made a mistake.” (11/29/22)
Student 1 [seeing a picture of my dog on my computer desktop]: "Hey Mister, is that your dog?"
Me: "What? Over here? Yes."
Student 2: "Ooh! You should bring it to school!"
Student 1: "Yeah Mister, you totally should!" (11/23/22)
Student 1: "Mister, Student 2 was talking about you."
Me: "Oh? What did he say?"
Student 1 [reading something that he wrote down]: "He said, 'I think Mister looks like a stereotypical Texan.'"
Me: "What? Why?"
Student 2: "No, no, no. I said, 'Imagine if Mister was a stereotypical Texan.'"
Me: "That's not that much better."
Student 1 [tapping his notebook where he wrote the quote]: "Nope. You THINK you said that, but that's not what I heard and wrote down." (11/22/22)
Student 1: "I think it should be illegal to listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving."
Student 2: "I just want you to know that I listened to Christmas songs the whole way here."
Student 3 [to Student 1]: "You're such a scrooge."
Student 1: "No, I'm not a scrooge. I love Christmas music. In fact, I listen to it all the time...AFTER Thanksgiving." (11/21/22)
"I think this is going to make me...what was it called? Oh, 'prematurely gray'." - Comment from a high school junior after she finished reviewing for an upcoming exam. (11/17/22)
Student [doing a review before our upcoming test]: "Mister, how do you do number 2?"
Me: "Check your notes."
Student [whining]: "I did, but I can't read them."
Me: "Try and figure it out since I can't read them for you when you take your test."
Student: "But it'd be so much easier if you just told me."
Me: "I did tell you."
Student: "What?"
Me: "Who helped you take those notes in the first place?" (11/16/22)
Student 1 [hearing the announcement of the start of our lockdown drill]: "Oh, is it starting?"
Student 2: "Yeah. Mister, do you want me to close the door?"
Student 3: "Can we hide under our desks?"
Me: "Yes, please."
Student 3: "Yay! Mister said we can hide under our desks."
Me: "No, I didn't."
Me [watching four fairly tall seniors rushing to try and fit under their desks]: "Never mind." (11/15/22)
Me [helping Student]: "And what are we supposed to do next?"
Student: "Huh? Oh, I'm sorry Mister."
Me: "Don't be sorry. I know it's hard after a long weekend, but you have to be able to look back and remember the things we've done."
Student: "Sorry. I think it's just...my brain is not braining." (11/14/22)
Student 1 [sheepishly]: "Mister, don't get mad. Were you at Taco Bell last night?"
Me: "No. It was probably some other Asian guy."
Student 1: "Are you sure?"
Student 2: "Why would Mister NOT be sure if he was at Taco Bell last night?"
Side note: the conversation went on for a bit longer. Student 1 later described the guy he thought was me as short and with a weird hairdo.
(11/10/22)
Student 1 [to Student 2]: "What time are [basketball] tryouts again?"
Student 2: "I think it's like 5:00 to 7:00."
Me: "I thought it was 5:30 to 7:30."
Student 1: "Wait, how do you know what time tryouts are?"
Student 2: "I think that's right."
Me: "Because, I read the bulleti..."
Student 1 [gasping]: "Maybe Mister is the assistant coach!"
Student 2 [laughing]: "Nah, nah. He'd be the statistics guy."
Me: "You don't need a statistician to tell you that when you shoot 0-4 that you're shooting zero percent." (11/7/22)
Student [at the end of class]: "Mister, does anyone else use this calculator?"
Me: "Look at the list for 5th period. Wait, why are you asking?
Student [with a mischievous smile]: "Because."
When I turned on the calculator, I saw this:
(11/3/22)
After watching a video of a sports anchor doing a silly power ranking of Halloween candies, the crew in my class during lunch started making their own list.
Student 1: "Sour Patch Kids has to go on the best candy list."
Student 2: "Ooh, what about skittles?"
Student 1: "Yes, but the tropical ones, not the normal ones."
Student 3: "Put normal skittles on the worst candy list."
The list begins growing quickly with suggestions coming in as fast as I could type.
"Twix", "Gummy bears", "pop rocks", "100 Grand"
Student 3: "Taco Bell condiment packet."
Student 1 and Student 2: "WHAT!?"
Student 3: "Yeah, someone on my street was handing them out on Halloween." (11/2/22)
Student 1 [to Student 2]: "Hey Student 2, do you have a food truck?"
Me: "Wait, Student 2, you have a food truck and I didn't know about it?"
Student 2 [confused]: "Huh? No. I don't have a food truck. Why?"
Student 1: "Someone was talking about you and mentioned your food truck. Do you work at a food truck?"
Student 2: "No. I don't have anything to do with a food truck. Where did this come from?" (11/1/22)
