Quote of the Day (37)

"I'm ready for this! I'm going to get a 37." - Sarcastic comment right before I started reading the instructions to start taking the ACT in class today. (2/28/17)

Quote of the Day (5 year plan)

Student: "Mister, if you could pick anything you wanted knowing you would be successful in five years what would it be?"
Me (suspicious that this sounded like a college entrance essay prompt): "I'm not sure. What would you do?"
Student: "Well, I don't quite know how I could phrase what I want in a good way."
Me (anticipating a meaningful teaching moment): "Maybe I could help. Just give me the rough version so I can help you clean it up a bit. So what do you want to do if you could be successful at it in five years?"
Student: "What's a nice way to say, 'I want to rule the world.'?"
(2/24/17)

Quote of the Day (yearbook)

"Mister, you know that quote I got from you the other day? Well, our teacher liked it so much that she asked if we could take your picture to go with it." - Hesitant plea from a high school student in regards to her past request for a piece of advice to put in the yearbook on how to get ready for the school year. My advice was to prepare physically by waking up early and building a routine a few weeks in advance then to prepare mentally by crying in the corner from 8:00 am to 3:00 pm. (2/22/17)

Quote of the Day (Ottawa)

Student 1 (looking through a booklet): "Where's 'Oh-toe-wah'?"
Student 2: "You mean Ottawa?"
Student 1: "Yeah, that's what I meant."
Student 2: "The way you said it sounded like a Pokemon."
(2/22/17)

Quote of the Day (whiplash)

"Dude, her mood-swings are so bad they give me whiplash." - Comment from a high school student to her peer about one of their teachers. (2/14/17)

Quote of the Day (marathons)

"I'd rather run a marathon every day than go to English class." - Comment from a high school student right after class finished. I later learned that she had a presentation in her next class that was giving her some major anxiety. I heard she did a really good job. (2/16/17)

Quote of the Day (Penn State)

Student 1 (shaking a shirt angrily): "Mister, look at this! My stupid pen leaked so I had to change."
A few moments later, Student 2 enters with Student 1's assignment.
Student 2: "Where do you want me to put this?"
Student 1: "Just set it by my pen-stained shirt."
Student 2: "Why do you have a Penn State shirt?"
Student 1 & Student 2 share confused looks. (2/16/17)

Quote of the Day (chicken)

Student 1 (reacting to a trivia question regarding the name of Charlie Brown's beagle): "That's easy! I named my chicken after him."
Student 2: "You named your chicken 'Snoopy'?"
Student 1: "Yup."
Student 2: "Cool. I named my chicken 'Katsu'."
(2/15/17)

Quote of the Day (chocolate)

Student 1: "Who gave that [box of chocolates] to you?"

Student 2: "This? Oh, [student name] gave this to me...but I think I forgot to say thank you."

Student 1: "What? How did that happen?"

Student 2: "Because, when he gave it to me I think all I said was, 'I can't eat all of this!'"

Student 1: "Then why is it almost all gone now?" (2/14/17)

Quote of the Day (hat)

Student (holding a black cap): "Mister, do you know if you can put hats in the wash?"
Me (reaching over to see the hat's care instructions): "Let's check."
Student: "I wouldn't touch that."
Me: "Why not?"
Student: "Because I dropped it in the toilet."
(2/10/17)

Quote of the Day (hatred)

Student (cheerfully from down the hall): "Mister! I don't hate AP Stats anymore. I'm finally starting to understand what's going on in class."
Me: "Nice! I'm happy to hear th..."
Student: "It's because I've actually been doing the homework. It's amazing how much I can understand once I started doing my homework; I guess I should have been doing my homework all this time."
(2/9/17)

Quote of the Day (food)

"Wasting food is a sin." - Scolding from a high school senior after he saw me throwing away the last slice of a mushy apple that I had forced myself to eat. (2/8/17)

Quote of the Day (password)

"My first password was 'teddybear'." - Confession from a high school student after she overheard me warning her friend not to divulge her school account password to anyone. (2/1/17)

Quote of the Day (photoshop)

Student (whispering right before class started): "Mister! Did you know that someone photoshopped your face on that salt guy?"
Me: *shrug*
Student (continuing to whisper but somewhat more seriously): "Do you know who did it? Are you not going to do anything about it?" (2/3/17)

Quote of the Day (donuts)

Student (after school): "What are you doing?"
Me: "Sending emails to the parents of my students that scored 100%."
Student: "I remember when you did that for me. Last time I got donuts."
...
Student: "Can you email my parents too even though I didn't score 100%?"
Me: "No. Not after the kind of mistake that you made."
Student: "Please! You can even tell them that I knew how to do everything, but just accidentally put three times one is two." (2/3/17)

Quote of the Day (fake)

"For a while I thought it was real, and I thought, 'Whoa! He's really confident!'" - Confession from a former student who went out of her way to tell me that she appreciated the humor of my recent photoshopped picture that I had posted on Instagram. (2/2/17)

Quote of the Day (score)

"It's just my test score." - Sheepish comment from a normally very reserved and upstanding high school student after I asked her what was on a note she passed to a friend as the class wrapped up a test. She was reluctant to show the note to me so I could confirm her story; after seeing her low score I could see why she was so hesitant to show it to me. (2/1/17)