Quote of the Day (grading)

 Student 1: "Mister, are you going trick-or-treating?"

Student 2 [before I could respond]: "No. He's going trick-or-grading." (10/31/22)

Quote of the Day (field trip)

 Student 1 walks into class even though she said she would be gone for a field trip.

Me: "I thought you said you were going to be gone."

Student 1: "I know. It's just...I just have so much stuff to catch up on that I can't afford to miss another day of class."

Student 2 [after overhearing Student 1's reason for skipping a field trip]: "OK. That just makes me feel so much better."

Me: "What, that Student 1 has to catch up on stuff?"

Student 2: "YES! Because if Student 1 is struggling to keep up then it must mean this class is so hard and would explain why I can't keep up too." (10/27/22)

Quote of the Day (life lesson)

 Student 1 [observing the absence of several students]: "Man, I don't know how anyone can miss school."

Student 2: "I know, right? Especially math class. If I miss just ONE math class, I feel like I'm behind for the whole L..."

Student 1 [completing Student 2's sentence]: "LIFE! I miss one math class, and I feel like I'm catching up my whole life."

Student 2: "Um. OK. I was going to say that I feel so behind for the whole lesson, but that works too." (10/26/22)

Quote of the Day (mullet)

 Student 1 [grinning as she enters the class]: "Mister, I have a quote for you."

Me: "Oh? Is this something you said?"

Student 1: "No, but it's something one of your students said this morning."

Me [highly intrigued]: "Go on."

Student 1 [struggling to hold in the laughter]: "So your student said, 'Jesus probably had a mullet.'"

Me: "Wait! What? What is the context of this?"

Apparently a student expressed his desire to get a mullet haircut but complained that his mom wouldn't let him. As a way to help justify getting a mullet, my student said the aforementioned quote. (10/25/22)

Quote of the Day (sick)

 Student [at the end of class]: "Yeah! First time I'm finishing my work on time."

Me: "I'm glad. I was worried that you were going to fall behind."

Student: "Why? Because I was sick for the last few days?"

Me: "Yeah. I'm glad you are caught up."

Student: "I know, right? Maybe I should be sick more often." (10/24/22)

Quote of the Day (smile)

 Student 1 & Student 2 having a heated discussion at the beginning of class.

Student 1: "No. That's not what she said!"

Me: "What's going on here?"

Student 1: "A girl talked to Student 2 in our class, and Student 2 messed it up."

Student 2: "This girl told me that I smile too much."

Student 1: "No. That's not what she said. She said, 'You're always smiling.'"

Student 2: "Which means she thinks I smile too much."

Student 1 [getting frustrated]: "NO! She meant it as a compliment, like 'Your smile is cute.'"

Me [to Student 2]: "So what did you do when she told you this?"

Student 2: "I stopped smiling." (10/21/22)

Quote of the Day (run)

 Student [running through the campus parking lot after school for cross country]: "Hey Mister, come join us!"

Me [shaking my head]: "No thanks."

Student: "C'mon! Just one lap!" (10/20/22)

Quote of the Day (brown rice)

 Student 1: "Poke and rice sounds so good right now."

Student 2: "Would you ever eat poke with brown rice?"

Student 1: "What!? Ew. No. Brown rice was probably made by Joe Biden." (10/19/22)

Quote of the Day (favorite)

 Student 1: "Hey Mister, is [Student 2] your favorite student?"

Me: "What? No. Not at all."

Student 1 and Student 3 [turning to face each other]: "WHOA!"

Student 3: "Did you see how fast he answered that?"

Student 1: "I know, right? No hesitation. Mister must really hate Student 2." (10/17/22)

Quote of the Day (easier)

 Student 1 [to Student 2]: "Who did you have [for math] last year?"

Student 2: "I had [teacher name]. I loved that class. It was so much easier than this one." (10/17/22)

Quote of the Day (time)

 Student [55 minutes after school ended]: "OK, here's my work."

Me [pointing to the clock]: "This is your second time making me wait for your late work on a Friday. Make sure this doesn't happen again."

Student: "I know. It's because I couldn't finish the work in class."

Me: "Is that a problem? Am I not giving you enough time in class to complete it?"

Student: "No. It's because I took a nap in class and had to work extra hard to catch up." (10/14/22)

Quote of the Day (band)

 Student [looking out the window at the band students practicing nearby]: "Mister, were you in band?"

Me: "No. Why?"

Student: "Because you look like you would've been in band." (10/13/22)

Quote of the Day (struggling)

 Student 1: "Wow! I actually learned something today."

Student 2 [with no regard for human life immediately turns around to face Student 1]: "Maybe it's because you weren't on your phone all day today." (10/11/22)

Quote of the Day (water)

 Student: “Mister, can I have a drink of water?”

Me [noting the strange word choice, but choosing to ignore it]: “Sure. Just take the bathroom pass when you leave.”

Student [pointing to my desk]: “No, can I HAVE a drink of water from your flask?” (9/30/22)