Quote of the Day (sigh)

“Uh oh, that doesn’t sound good.” - Comment from a high school student after I had just sighed right as I started grading his exam (the last exam that I had to grade for the semester before Winter Break). (12/21/18)

Quote of the Day (corrections)

Student: “Mister, I’m here to make corrections [for credit recovery] on the final.”
Me: “Sure.”
Student [looks over the test]: “Is there a way I can take this home and finish it?”
Me: “No, other students still need to take it.”
Student [hands me back the final]: “OK, then I don’t want to make any corrections.”
I’m not a very smart man, but I think I’m smart enough to read between the lines. (12/20/18)

Quote of the Day (final)

“I shouldn’t have taken this [final] today. Can I come back and finish it tomorrow?” - Complaint from a high school student that I suspected had been cheating on the last two tests. She wouldn’t admit it even though I gave her a chance to make up the work. Today, I gave her a completely different version of the exam, had her sit close to me, then warned everyone (but really I was referring to her) that anyone who even touched their phones would result in a zero. Her friends all did OK but she couldn’t answer a single question. (12/19/18)

Quote of the Day (tv)

Student [upon entering the classroom and seeing the newly installed TV]: “Wow! Mister, could you bring in like an air mattress and some food?”
Me: “I guess, but why would I ever want to do...”
Student: “Because! Then you can lie around and watch movies all day in here over break.” (12/18/18)

Quote of the Day (note)

Student 1 [to Student 2]: “Hey! Look at this note I just got!”
Student 2 reads the note from a teacher excusing Student 1 from doing a major presentation because her grade had been consistently high all year.
Student 1: “This was like the best Christmas present ever!”
Student 3 [turns to me]: “I hope I get that note because I didn’t even start my presentation.” (12/17/18)

Quote of the Day (group work)

Student [who is normally very reserved and always positive]: “Ugh! I don’t want to be here today.”
Me: “Whoa! What’s wrong?”
Student: “I have this group project that’s due next period.”
Me: “Let me guess...nobody else is contributing.”
Student [eyes widened as if in amazement]: “YES! How did you know?” (12/14/18)

Quote of the Day (constant)

Me [describing Euler’s constant]: “So we use ‘e’ because it was named after him.”
Student: “So that’s why we can’t use ‘e’ as a variable or for anything else?”
Me: “Pretty much.”
Student [thinking deeply]: “If I ever find a constant, I’m going to change my name to Xavier.”
Me: “Why would you want to do that? Wouldn’t you want it named after your own name?”
Student [grinning]: “No, because then they would name the constant as ‘x’ and have to rewrite all the textbooks because they can’t use ‘x’ as a variable any more.” (12/13/18)

Quote of the Day (sick)

Me: “Hey! You’re back!”
Student: “Yeah, I was sick yesterday.”
Me [jokingly]: “Sick of school?”
Student: “No, when I woke up I had a sore throat. And when I tried to talk I sounded just like you!” (12/12/18)

Quote of the Day (diabetic)

Student: “If I was diabetic, I would eat much more healthier.”
Me [nodding in agreement]: “Good.”
Student: “So then if I eat healthy enough I can be un-diabetic.”
Me [shaking my head]: “I don’t think that’s how it works.”
Student: “Why not?” (12/11/18)

Quote of the Day (susp...)

Student 1 enters after a long absence.
Student 2: “Hey! You’re back! How was your susp...”
Student 2 makes eye contact with me.
Student 2: “I mean, how was your break?” (12/10/18)

Quote of the Day (Pearl Harbor)

Student: “What’s today’s date?”
Me [pointing to the board]: “It’s over there.”
Student: “Oh yeah, today’s the day that the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor.”
Student turns and glares at me suspiciously before cracking a mischievous smile. (12/7/18)

Quote of the Day (carrot)

“If [student name] was a vegetable, he’d be a carrot.” - Comment overheard from a strange conversation between two high school students at lunch. (12/6/18)

Quote of the Day (yessah)

Student: “You know what your class motto should be?”
Me: “No. What?”
Student: “Yessah blessah. No stressah.”
Me: “...”
Student: “You should write it right on top of your board.”
Me: “You should get back to work. What’s your grade in this class again?”
Student: “It’s, uh, not very good. But I try to live by that motto everyday.”
Me: “Clearly.” (12/4/18)

Quote of the Day (married)

Student 1: “I think the earliest I would ever get married would be like 24 or 25. At the earliest!”
Student 2: “No. Just by saying that, you just jinxed yourself. Now you’re probably going to get married in the second half of your first year of college.”
Student 1: “No way! I don’t fall for men like that.”
Student 1 [whispers to me]: “Besides, my mom said if I ever got married that young she would kill me...and I’m scared of my mom.” (12/3/18)

Quote of the Day (future)

Student 1: “I promise. I’ll come in at lunch tomorrow.”
Student 2: “Where were you today? You were supposed to come in at lunch today”
Student 1: “I was hungry. I went to go get food.”
Student 2: “Yeah, but now you’re gonna fail this class, then you’re not going to go to college. You’re not going to get a good job, then you’ll be homeless...with no food. It’s like you gave up all your food in the future for lunch today.” (11/29/18)

Quote of the Day (rating)

“Remember the time that [teacher name] got all mad and yelled at us after they found out we gave them a bad rating?” - Comment from a high school student during a discussion about the teacher rating surveys that were administered this week. (11/29/18)

Quote of the Day (minus well)

“Is it ‘minus well’? Or is it ‘might as well’?” - Question from a high school student during today’s lesson. (11/28/18)

Quote of the Day (Canada)

“I don’t get it. Your parents don’t even allow you to drive.” - Comment from a high school student to his friend. The friend just announced that he was going to Canada by himself over Winter Break to visit a girl that he had met at a summer program. (11/27/18)

Quote of the Day (germ-x)

Student sneezes into his hands.
Me: “Bless you.”
Student [approaching me with cupped hands filled with sprayed saliva]: “Aaaaahhhh! Germ-x! Germ-x!”
Me [pointing to a stack of paper towels]: “Ew! Go wipe your hands first.”
Student [confused]: “What do you want me to do?”
Does that mean he just wanted me to squirt some hand sanitizer in his hands so he could mix it with all the spittle? (11/26/18)

Quote of the Day (boyfriend)

Student 1: “Did you see [student name]’s new boyfriend!?!?!”
Student 2: “Yeah. Compared to her ex, that’s like going from an iPhone 1 to a...uh, iPhone that’s unreleased!” (11/21/18)

Quote of the Day (pimple)

Student 1: “Whoa! Student 2, did you get stung by a bee?”
Student 2: “No, it’s just a pimple.” (11/19/18)

Quote of the Day (cartridge)

“Mister, you’re like the third person who thought that.” - Comment from a male high school student after I told him that he needed to stop carrying the small perfume bottle that he had found like an electronic cigarette. (11/19/18)

Quote of the Day (21)

“If I take it 10 more times then I might get a 30!” - A high school student’s excited response after he learned he got a 21 on the ACT, an improvement of 1 point from the first time he took it. (11/16/18)

Quote of the Day (mood plot)

“Wow! It looks like you could plot [teacher’s name]’s mood swings with this graph.” - Comment from a high school student during our lesson about the fluctuations of a sine curve. (11/15/18)

Quote of the Day (louder)

Student 1 & Student 2  both find the answer to a problem and say it out loud.
Student 1: “Ha! I said it first.”
Student 2: “Yeah, well, I said it louder.” (11/14/18)

Quote of the Day (ice)

Student [motioning to his swollen hand]: “Mister! Do you have a bag of ice?”
Me: “Huh? Oh, you should probably go to the health room.”
Student: “No, thank you. I just need a bag of ice.”
Me: “I know. You can probably get one from the health room.”
Student: “But I just thought you would have one.”
Me: “Why would I have a bag of ice?”
Student: “Because you have all kinds of things.”
Me [intrigued]: “Like what?”
Student: “Well, you have calculators, paper towels, pencils, computers, and you gave me an eraser one time.” (11/13/18)

Quote of the Day (more)

Student 1: “Hey Mister, is it true that if you take four or more AP tests, then you get to pay less for each test?”
Me: “...”
Student 2: “No, it just means you have to pay more overall.” (11/8/18)

Quote of the Day (notes)

Student: “Mister, is it alright if I use [student’s name]’s notes on the (open-note) test?”
Me: “That’s a strange request. You know why I might say no, right?”
Student: “I promise I’m not cheating. I forgot my notes and [student name] takes good notes so I asked him if I could borrow them for the test.”
Me [looking over the notes for anything suspicious]: “I guess you can. Thank you for asking first.”
Student: “I thought it would be good to ask before I just started using them.”
10 minutes into the test...
Student: “Argh! These notes are all wrong! Why did I even ask him for these? I would score better if I don’t even use [student’s name]’s notes!” (11/7/18)

Quote of the Day (tattle tale)

Student 1: “Hey Mister! You know what Student 2 did in class the other day?”
Student 2 looks at me, smiles sheepishly then looks away.
Student 1: “She called you Mr. Lau.”
Me [trying to make Student 2 not feel so bad]: “So? A lot of people do that.”
Student 1: “No! But it wasn’t like those other times.”
Student 2: “Stop. You don’t have to tell him.”
Student 1: “She was talking to her friend like, ‘Hey, are you going to take Mr. Lau’s math class next year? I’m in Mr. Lau’s class right now.’ And the whole time she kept calling you Mr. Lau.”
Me: “Wow! That is pretty bad.”
Student 1: “I know. I had to walk over there and correct them, ‘Oh? You mean Mr. Hwang?’” (11/2/18)

Quote of the Day (bet)

Student 1 [to Student 2]: “I bet I’ll get a better score than you on the test.”
Student 2: “Oh yeah? OK I bet you if I score higher than you Mister will give you an F.”
Student 3: “Ooh! Don’t do it!”
Student 1: “OK, if I score higher than you then Mister gives YOU an F.”
Student 2 [looking at me]: “And if we both score the same then you can give us both an F.” (10/31/18)

Quote of the Day (Halloween)

Student 1: “Mister, I’m so disappointed that you didn’t dress up.”
Student 2: “Mister is dressed up! He just told me he dressed up as a non-conformist.”
Student 1: “Aw. That’s so lame.”
Student 2: “I know, right? He could’ve printed a picture of a tire. BOOM! He’s tire-d.”


Bonus quote: “Oh yeah! Today is Halloween.” - Realization from a high school junior...during the last class of the day. (10/31/18)

Quote of the Day (goat)

Student 1 [bleating in the middle of class for the second time]: “Baaaa!”
Student 2: “Ha ha ha. You sound just like a goat.”
Student 1: “I know. Mister told me it sounded real too. He even told me he wants me to do it again up in the mountains during hunting season.” (10/29/18)

Quote of the Day (Twinkie)

“Mister, do twinkies have an expiration date?” - Question asked by a high school senior in the middle of class. (10/26/18)

Quote of the Day (groan)

Student [at the end of class]: “That was actually pretty easy.”
Me: “Really? Because I’m pretty sure when I introduced the lesson someone back here let out a loud groan.”
Student: “You’re right. That was me.” (10/26/18)

Quote of the Day (enjoy)

“Mister, I think for the first time in my entire...uh, career... as a student, I think I like math.” - Comment from a high school senior at the end of another class where he contributed many of the answers and helped several of his peers. (10/25/18)

Quote of the Day (calculator)

Me: "What happened to your calculator? Did you forget it at home?"
Student [pulling out his calculator from his backpack]: "No. It's right here."
Me: "Then why are you using [student name]'s calculator?"
Student: "Because I didn't want to drop mine and break it." (10/23/18)

Quote of the Day (master)

“And now the master is the teacher.” - Comment from a high school student after he helped his friend that normally helps him. He paused then continued, “Wait! I don’t think I said that right.” (10/23/18)

Quote of the Day (bachelor)

[Male] Student: “Mister, do you watch Bachelor in Paradise?”
Me: “No.”
Student: “Well you should. There’s so much drama.”
(9/4/18)

Quote of the Day (hurts)

“Ow! This actually kind of hurts.” - Exclamation from a high school student in the middle of class. When I turned to see what she had done to cause the pain, I saw her continuing to tap her forehead with the end of her pencil. (10/19/18)

Quote of the Day (fired)

Student: “Do you know if [teacher name] got fired?”
Me: “No. Why do you think I would know that?”
Student: “I don’t know. I thought that they’re a teacher and you’re a teacher so you would just know that kind of stuff.” (10/16/18)

Quote of the Day (people)

Student: “Mister, do you like people?”
Me [confused where this was coming from]: “Some people.”
Student: “You’re right. Not all people are bad, but there are a lot of irritating ones.” (10/16/18)

Quote of the Day (dog)

“It’s like his eyelids were too small so his eyes looked like they were always going to pop out.” - A student’s description of the dog his family had while growing up in a different country. His story took a sad twist when he continued, “And then one day he was gone. We think the neighbors stole him and ate him.” (10/15/18)

Quote of the Day (confidential)

Student 1: “Yes! [Teacher name] is letting me finish my work over Fall Break.”
Student 2: “Not! I don’t believe you.”
Student 1 [holding up his computer]: “Look! It says it right here in the email. ‘Keeping this between you and me [rest of the message].’” (10/5/18)

Quote of the Day (breathing)

“You could just stop breathing.” - Comment from a conversation between two friends that caught me off guard. When they saw the stunned look on my face, they bursted into laughter and explained that the student who was sick was concerned about spreading her germs to her friend when the aforementioned suggestion was offered. (10/4/18)

Quote of the Day (dream)

Student [entering the class]: “Mister! You were in my dream last night?”
Me: “Uh oh. What was I doing?”
Student: “You were telling me what to do. ‘Do this!’ ‘Don’t do that!’”
Me [relieved]: “Did I have my voice back? What did I sound like?”
Student: “You sounded like my parents.” (10/2/18)

Quote of the Day (tan)

Student 1: “I’m part white. Don’t I look white to you?”
Student 2: “No, you look tan.” (10/1/18)

Quote of the Day (Hot in Herre)

“♪ It’s getting hot in here, so turn on all your fans. ♫”  - Short tune sung by a high school student on a particularly muggy/hot morning. (9/28/18)

Quote of the Day (happy)

Student: “Mister, do you have [friend’s name]?”
Me: “Yes. How did you know?”
Student: “Because she came into practice and grabbed my arm just to tell me that she scored 100% on your test.” (9/27/18)

Quote of the Day (stairs)

Student 1 [entering the classroom]: “Ugh. I can never get used to those stairs.”
Me: “That’s because I added a few more this morning.”
Student 1: “Ha ha ha [courtesy laugh]. That’s so dumb.”
A few minutes later Student 2 enters the classroom breathing heavily. “I hate those stairs.”
Student 1: “Mister said he added a few more this morning.”
Student 2 [glaring at me]: “Mister! Why would you do that?” (9/26/18)

Quote of the Day (goldfish)

Student [between bites]: “Hi Mister. Would you like some goldfish?”
Me: “No tha...”
Student [pulling the bag away from me]: “That’s OK. They’re kinda stale anyway.” (9/25/18)

Quote of the Day (fired)

Student [entering class]: “Mister! Is there anything I can do to get a teacher fired?”
Me: “Why would I help you to get me fired?”
Student: “No, not you. Just a teacher who is not doing their job.” (9/24/18)

Quote of the Day (vinegar)

Student 1 [eating salt and vinegar chips]: “Oh man, these are so good.”
Student 2 [who offered to share her horse meat yesterday]: “Ew! Those are so gross.”
Student 1: “What!? So you’ll eat horse, but you won’t eat salt and vinegar chips!?” (9/21/18)

Quote of the Day (horse)

Student 1 [holding a plate]: “Mister, do you want some horse?”
Student 2: “What!? Is that really horse?”
[after a lengthy conversation and a short poll revealing how many people would actually eat horse]
Student 2: “You’re all serial killers! I never would’ve thought I’d lose so many friends over this.” (9/20/18)

Quote of the Day (headphone jack)

Student 1 [flipping his calculator around]: “Mister, where’s the headphone jack on this thing? I could’ve sworn there was a headphone jack.”
Student 2: “Why? So you can listen to your math?” (9/19/18)

Quote of the Day (vlog)

Student 1 [after finding out about my YouTube channel]: “Mister! Do you have a vlog?”
Me: “No. I can’t talk, and I don’t like being in front of a camera.”
Student 2: “You should do a vlog!”
Student 1: “Yeah, I would totally watch your vlog.” (9/18/18)

Quote of the Day (niele)

Student 1 [after hearing me speak of the Hawaiian word “niele”]: “Mister, what does that even mean?”
Me: “It means to be nosy.”
Student 1: “Aw c’mon, don’t be like that.”
Me [confused]: “What do you mean?”
Student 1: “C’mon, just tell me what it means.”
Me [even more confused]: “I said it means to be nosy.”
Student 2: “Mister is not joking with you right now. It really means what he said.” (9/17/18)

Quote of the Day (help)

Student [pouting]: “Mister, I need help.”
Me [thinking Student came in early for help on her upcoming exam]: “Sure. What do you need?”
Student: “I just got asked to homecoming, but I don’t want to be mean and say ‘no’.” (9/14/18)

Quote of the Day (Kahuku Lake)

“Oh, the famous Kahuku Lake has returned.” - Comment from a high school student after heavy rains flooded the nearby track. (9/13/18)

Quote of the Day (personal info)

Student: “Mister, where do you live?”
Me [having learned not to immediately answer that question from last year]: “Where do you think I live?”
Student guessed correctly and explained, “I was just wondering if your house would get flooded [from the tropical storm].”
Me: “Usually my home is OK. Thanks for worrying about me though. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
20 minutes later
Student [standing up to turn something in as I walked by]: “Whoa! Mister, how tall are you?”
Me: “What’s with all the personal questions? Are you trying to hack into my bank account?” (9/12/18)

Quote of the Day (tropical storm)

"But you know what? You're still in school so just shut up and do your math homework!" - Comment from a high school student who was getting fed up with her classmate who had been incessantly prattling on about how he wished that the incoming tropical storm would force the school to close so he wouldn’t have to do any school work. (9/11/18)

Quote of the Day (good/great)

Student: “Hey Mister. How has your day been going?”
Me [thoughtlessly]: “Good.”
Student: “Well, it’s about to become great!”
Me: “Oh? Why?”
Student [motioning to his peers as they entered the room]: “Because, it’s your favorite class!” (9/10/18)

Quote of the Day (70)

“Whew! I’m happy I got a 70%.” - Comment from a high school student when she got her test score after learning her peers’ scores were hovering around an average of 48%. She continued, “I mean...I’m happy, but I’m not happy with just a 70%.” (9/7/18)

Quote of the Day (Einstein)

“Ha! I feel like Albert Einstein right now!” - Excited comment from a high school student after she figured out a particularly difficult calculus concept in class. (9/6/18)

Quote of the Day (AFLAC)

Student 1 [reading about Ben and Casey Affleck]: “Wait! There are two Afflecks!?”
Student 2: “I thought it was pronounced AFLAC...oh wait, that’s the insurance company.” (9/5/18)

Quote of the Day (bachelor)

[Male] Student: “Mister, do you watch Bachelor in Paradise?”
Me: “No.”
Student: “You should. There’s so much drama on that show.” (9/4/18)

Quote of the Day (map)

“I’ve got it all mapped out. Get an A in first quarter. Get a B in second quarter. Get a C in third quarter then go straight to an F in fourth.” - Comment from an unconfident AP Calculus student after she saw that she was getting an A despite a challenging beginning. (8/31/18)

Quote of the Day (nemesis)

Student 1: “Mister Lau, why do you hav-”
Me: “...”
Student 2: “Oh WOW!”
(8/30/18)

Quote of the Day (almonds)

Student 1: “Mister, do you still have the can?”
I searched my closet for the empty can of almonds that Student 1 filled with paper clips last year. She then wrote “Help yourself” on the lid and left it in a very visible spot in the class. After finding it and reminiscing about her prank, Student 1 asked if I could leave it out on my desk for old times’ sake. Just a few minutes later...
Student 2 [holding up the can]: “Can I really have some?” (8/29/18)

Quote of the Day (copy and paste)

Student: “Oh Mister, before I forget, could you write a letter of recommendation for me?”
Me: “I already started since you asked me for it a while ago. I’m sorry that I just haven’t had the time to finish it.”
Student: “That’s OK. I’m fine with you just copying and pasting it from a good one that you wrote for someone before.” (8/28/18)

Quote of the Day (trimming)

“I spent the weekend helping cut tree branches in our neighbor’s yards.” - Response from a high school student after I asked him how his weekend was in preparation for the inbound hurricane. (8/27/18)

Quote of the Day (hurricane)

The following are various quotes from students in regards to the approaching Hurricane Lane.
“Be safe Mister!”
“Don’t die Mister.”
“I would actually feel safer in this classroom than in my home.”
“No school tomorrow or Friday? I’d better go to the library to stock up.”
“I only want the hurricane to hit [teacher’s name]’s class.”
“Hopefully I’ll see you on Monday.” (8/22/18)

Quote of the Day (hike)

Me (to Student): “Stop skipping school.”
Student: “Sorry. Do you know why I was gone though?”
Me: “No. Why?”
Student: “It’s for a good reason. It was [former student]’s last day.”
Me: “And?”
Student: “And we went on a hike so I know you would understand.” (8/21/18)

Quote of the Day (age)

Student 1 (to Student 2): “Hey! Happy birthday! How old are you now?”
Student 3 (to Student 1): “You’re not supposed to ask a girl how old they are.”
Student 1 apologizes.
Student 3 (turning to me with a smile): “But you can ask them when they were born or what year they graduated.” (8/20/18)

Quote of the Day (AP)

AP Calculus Student: “Ugh! I hate my [course name] class.”
Me: “Why?”
Student: “Because [teacher name] said that we could expect it to be harder than an AP class.”
Me: “Wow! Is that a challenge? That sounds like a challenge.”
Student: “No, no, no. It’s OK. I’m sure she didn’t mean it.” (8/14/18)

Quote of the Day (cross country)

Student 1: “Ugh. I really don’t want to go to practice after school today.”
Student 2: “Practice? For what?”
Student 1: “Oh, cross country.”
Student 2: “...oh, um...do you have to go to the mainland for that?”
Student 1: “Huh? No, most of our meets are on Oahu.”
Student 2: “So how do you...you know, go across the country?”
Student 1: “Oh my God! Did you really just think that cross country means we have to run across the whole United States!?” (8/14/18)

Quote of the Day (Squircle)

Student 1 (to Student 2): “So yesterday, Mister was helping me and he asked me how I would solve one of these (trigonometry) problems. So I said we had to use the Unit Square.”
Student 2: “Unit Square!? I don’t think there’s even such a thing. Isn’t it the Unit Circle?”
Student 1: “Yeah, but I was just...”
Student 2: “OK, let me ask [Student 3] for help instead.” (8/14/18)

Quote of the Day (greeting)

Student: “Hey Mister! Do you remember a time over the summer when you were walking or about to go running by the big yellow gate and someone yelled at you?”
Me: “You mean someone from a tinted truck that was so far away that I couldn’t see who was saying hi?”
Student: “Yeah. That was me!” (8/10/18)

Quote of the Day (clothes)

Student (that I’ve taught for more than one year): “Mister, I like that (white) shirt. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear it before.”
Me (kinda creeped out): “That’s because I just bought it. It’ll probably have a stain by the end of today.”
 Student: “Oh, is that why you wear dark clothes all the time?”
Me (really creeped out because it’s true): “...” (8/9/18)

Quote of the Day (request)

“It would be great if you could give it to [student name] on Tuesday morning.” - Ending to a polite letter of recommendation request from a parent of one of my students. It was sent Sunday night; I didn’t receive it till Tuesday morning. (5/29/18)

Quote of the Day (phone)

Student [bursting into my empty classroom after school]: “Hi Mister!”
Me: “Congratulations on your graduation.”
Student: “Thanks. I just wanted to come and say hi.”
She then produces something she had been clutching tightly in her hands since she entered.
Student [beaming]: “Look! I got a phone! My mom and dad gave it to me for graduation.” (5/25/18)

Quote of the Day (death battle)

Student: “Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you we had a Death Battle in our class the other day.”
Me: “Death Battle?”
Student: “Yeah, it’s a debate to see who would win? And guess what!? It was you versus Mr. Lau.”
Me: “So who won?”
Student: “You did! It was because you could calculate all his moves and avoid them.”
Thanks...I think. (5/24/18)

Quote of the Day (bird)

“Mister! Did you know that [teacher name] brought their pet bird to class today?” - Question from a high school student during the last period of the day. (5/23/18)

Quote of the Day (pig)

“If I ever get married, I want to have my wedding there.” - Comment from a high school student after learning about a beach in the Bahamas that is populated by a community of feral pigs. She continued, “One of the pigs could be my ring bearer!” (5/22/18)

Quote of the Day (motto)

Student gets frustrated while working through a tough problem and eventually finds success.
Me: “See! You give up to easily.”
Student: “But that’s my motto.” (5/21/18)

Quote of the Day (stairs)

“Ugh. I’m not going to miss those.” - Comment from a high school senior on her last day of school as she pointed to the stairs she had just climbed. (5/18/18)

Quote of the Day (exam)

Me: “Hey! You’re back! How was your [AP] test?”
Student: “It’s over.” (5/17/18)

Quote of the Day (schedule)

“Mister, do you know what today’s schedule is? I’m so confused. I asked Miss [teacher name] and even she didn’t know.” - Frantic question from a high school senior in regards to our change of schedule for an assembly. Both the assembly and its required schedule change were communicated to teachers at 10:30 pm the previous day. (5/16/18)

Quote of the Day (minds)

Student 1 suggests something that he could’ve done to finish his work sooner.
Me: “That’s a great idea. That’s what [student name] did, and she’s been done for a long time.”
Student 1: “Great minds think alike...too bad I don’t use mine.” (5/15/18)

Quote of the Day (sisters)

Dialogue between a current student and her sister, a former student. The current student climbed all the way up to my class on the third floor to tell me this during recess.
Current: "Guess who my math teacher is this year?"
Former: "I don't know. Who?"
Current: "Mr. Hwang!"
Former: "Oh my gosh! That was my teacher too. Did he tell you how good of a student I was in his class?"
Current: "Uh...no. He said all you did was sit in the back and talk."
Former: "NO! Correction, I sat in the front and talked." (5/14/18)

Quote of the Day (mean)

A few weeks ago, a student used an empty can of almonds to make a prank by writing “Free. Help yourself.” on it and leaving it in plain sight on my desk.
Student 1 [peering into the empty almond can and frowning]: “That’s so mean!”
Student 1 [turning to Student 2, smiling and handing her the can]: “Hey! Do you want some almonds!” (5/8/18)

Quote of the Day (ulcer)

“The other day I saw a sentence in my biology book. I want to make it my senior quote.” - Comment from a high school student after class ended. The sentence she found so amusing was, “Todd has a peptic ulcer.” (5/10/18)

Quote of the Day (marriage)

Student 1: “Ugh. Miss drives me crazy.”
Student 2: “Yeah, she seems so angry all the time.”
Student 3: “Maybe she just needs a husband.”
Student 2: “*gasp* What about Mister!?”
All three students turn to look at me. (5/2/18)

P.S. - I only caught the tail end of their conversation so please don’t ask me the name of the teacher they were talking about.

Quote of the Day (chair)

“Mister, why do you always pull up your chair when you answer my questions? Is it because you think it’ll take a long time?” - Query from a high school student who struggles with a lot of basic concepts during my last class of the day. (5/8/18)

Quote of the Day (March)

“Oh wow. We took this back in March.” - Comment from a high school student attempting to do some last minute make-up work before tomorrow’s deadline. She continued, “I can’t remember what to do. I guess I should’ve come in earlier.” (5/7/18)

Quote of the Day (philosopher)

Student: “I think I want to be a philosopher, but I don’t think I can.”
Me: “Why not?”
Student: “Because I’m too loud.” (5/4/18)

Quote of the Day (studying)

“Wow! You’re actually studying? That’s a surprise.” - Comment from one high school student to a classmate who rarely does anything beyond the bare minimum to get the grade that he wants. (5/3/18)

Quote of the Day (scaling)

“You know how they say that if you’re doing good the questions are supposed to get harder?” - Opening of a high school student’s confession regarding the scaling difficulty of a standardized test she just took. She continued, “None of my questions were getting harder.” (4/30/18)

Quote of the Day (voice)

Senior 1: “When you get your voice back, it’s gonna be as loud as [loud teacher]’s!”
Senior 2: “Yeah, when it comes back you have to record yourself singing Alma Mater [school song] and post it so we can all hear your real voice.” (5/1/18)

Quote of the Day (Latin)

Student 1 [to Student 2]: “I bet you don’t know what ‘post hoc ergo propter hoc’ means.”
Student 2: “Poke hop...what!? Is that like some kind of Harry Potter spell or something?”
Student 1: “No, it’s Latin.”
Student 2: “Where do they speak Latin?”
Me: “Latin America.”
Student 3 [laughing]: “This is my favorite class.” (4/30/18)

Quote of the Day (cube)

Student 1 [to Student 2]: “Wait! So do you know who took it?”
Student 2: “I don’t know! But I do know that someone is going to hell for taking my [charging] cube.” (4/27/18)

Quote of the Day (October)

Me [to Student 1]: “What month is October?”
Student 1: “...Eight!”
Student 2: “Eight!? What?!?!”
Student 1: “You know, because ‘octo’ means eight.”
(4/26/18)

Quote of the Day (pencil sharpener)

“Mister, does this even work?” - Question from a high school student who was trying to use my pencil sharpener that wasn’t plugged in. (4/25/18)

Quote of the Day (suggestion)

“You know what you should do? You should write down all the funny stuff we say and post it somewhere so other teachers can guess who said it.” - Suggestion from a high school student who was surprised that I remembered something funny she had said earlier in the year. (4/24/18)

Quote of the Day (plant)

Me [picking up a plant that Student 1 brought into class]: “What kind of plant is this?”
Student 1: “I think it’s ‘Akila’.”
Me: “Is it native? It might be ‘Ākia”
Student: “Oh! That might be it. It’s so cute; I named him ‘Bonhomie’.”
Me: ???
Student [googling the word for me]: “It’s an SAT [vocabulary] word!” (4/23/18)

Quote of the Day (blood)

Student 1: “I wish I could donate blood.”
Student 2: “Why? Why would you want to get poked like that?”
Student 1: “Because I want to be like Wonder Woman and save the world.”
Student 2: “Hello!? You’re only saving three lives. It’s not like you’re saving a whole country.”
Student 1: “Yeah, but I am saving the whole country just...um...you know, like one pint at a time.” (4/19/18)

Quote of the Day (ugly)

Student 1 [after I caught an easy mistake in her work]: “Man! I’m so stupid.”
Me: “Hey! Don’t say that about yourself.”
Student 2: “Aw, don’t say that. You’re smart.”
Student 3: “Yeah. [Student 1], you’re so smart. You’re always helping me.”
Student 1 [whispering to herself]: “Wow. Maybe I should insult myself more often so people will compliment me.”
Student 1 [aloud]: “Man! I’m so ugly.”
Student 2 & Student 3: “...” (4/19/18)

Quote of the Day (almonds)

“Mister, it’s too light. Do you have anything that I can put inside to make it heavier?” - Question from a high school student as she was writing a note to put into an empty can of almonds that she planned to leave in my classroom for an unsuspecting student. Later, once her prank was complete she remarked, “I feel like I’m in that TV show ‘The Office’.” (4/18/18)

Quote of the Day (transcript)

Student 1: “Does anyone know how much they charge for a copy of our transcript?”
Student 2: “I think it’s like thirty-five cents.”
Student 1: “THIRTY-FIVE CENTS! I can’t believe they’re making us pay thirty-five cents for a piece of paper with just some numbers on it.” (4/17/18)

Quote of the Day (rural)

“Hey! You can’t do that.” - Argument from a high school senior near the end of class while everyone else was doing their work. What I thought was a debate about a math problem turned out to be a squabble about her friend’s pros and cons list she had made for her top three college choices. As a con for one choice she had written “too rural” and as a con for another choice she had written “big city”. (4/16/18)

Quote of the Day (dog)

Student: “Hey Mister! Do you want to see a picture of my dog?”
Me: “Um...OK.”
[waits for student to produce her picture]
Student: “I already sent it to your email.”
When I checked my inbox later in the period, I found an email titled, “God’s Greatest Masterpiece”. (4/13/18)

Quote of the Day (observation)

Student [after a pair of observers left the room]: “Whew. I can breathe again.”
Me: “?? You know that they’re really not here to observe you, right?”
Student: “I know. We just want to make you look good.” (4/12/18)

Quote of the Day (love)

Conversation between two male students as they were leaving another teacher’s class.
Student 1: “OK Miss [teacher’s name]. Love you!”
Student 2 [whispering]: “Dude, did you just say ‘Love you.’ to Miss [teacher’s name]?”
Student 1: “Huh? Did I?! [turns around and goes back to the class] Sorry, I meant ‘thank you’.” (4/11/18)

Quote of the Day (Mililani)

Student 1: “Mister, what side of the island are you from?”
Me: “Hau...um, What side of the island do you THINK I’m from?”
Student 1 [with no hesitation]: “Mililani.”
Me: “Wow. That’s a pretty racially loaded answer.”
Student 1 [getting defensive]: “What!? No, I didn’t mean it like that.”
Me: “So what did you mean?”
Student 2: “At least she didn’t say ‘Iolani’.”
Me: “That’s not a side of the island.”
Student 1 [trying to backtrack]: “No, I mean, like, Miss [teacher name who is of a different race] is from Mililani too so...”
Student 3 [from the back of the room]: “Mililani!? Isn’t that where all the smart Asians are from?” (4/9/18)

Quote of the Day (college)

Senior 1: “I hate college. It’s making me so stressed.”
Senior 2: “I know, right? And we’re not even in it yet.” (4/9/18)

Quote of the Day (breathing)

Student 1 [to Student 2 in the middle of a test]: “Argh! Stop it!”
Me: “What’s going on? Is everything OK?”
Student 1: “Mister, it’s her breathing. It’s so loud. I can’t focus. It’s distracting me.”
Me: “You do realize that by yelling about it, you’re now distracting everyone, right?”
Student 1: “Yeah, but her brother does it to. [mimics heavy breathing] I worry about them. It sounds so unhealthy.” (4/5/18)

Quote of the Day (test)

Student 1: “Hey! Didn’t we already take this test? I could’ve sworn we did this already.”
Student 2: “NO! Hello? The tests all have the same format so they look the same.”
Student 1 [ignoring her friend’s rational explanation]: “Hmm. Maybe I dreamt that I already took this test.” (4/4/18)

Quote of the Day (Thursday)

Student: “Mister, is the test Thursday and Friday?”
Me: “What does it say on the board?”
Student: “I know. It says it’s ‘tomorrow and Friday’.”
Me: “What day is it tomorrow?”
Student: “Oh... Thursday.” (4/4/18)

Quote of the Day (letter)

“Mister, did you get that letter that was handed out yesterday?” - Question from a high school student regarding a letter that was sent home with every student detailing a worrisome account of a group of students that were approached by a stranger on campus after school. When I answered his question and told him that I handed out all of the letters, he gleefully exclaimed, “That was me! I was in that group [of students].” (4/3/18)

Quote of the Day (power)

Student 1 [as class ended just minutes after the power went out]: “Bye Mister! Have a good weekend.”
Student 2: “Weekend!? It’s only Monday.”
Student 1: “Oh, right. Sorry. When the power goes off, my brain goes off.” (4/2/18)

Quote of the Day (confused)

"I can't help it. I feel like if I'm not confused, I'm not doing it right." - Comment from a high school student in one of my Calculus classes after she second guessed her answer on a simple calculation. (3/29/18)

Quote of the Day (best/worst)

"I have been coming in to get extra help and do any corrections. My grade is still an F. Is there anything else I can do? I've been doing my best." - Comments of concern from a high school student early in the morning before school started. A few hours later I returned two incomplete homework assignments to the same student. When I confronted him about it, he replied, "Sorry, I was being lazy and just didn't feel like doing them." Now I know what to say when he asks me to help him raise his grade later this year. (3/27/18)

Quote of the Day (concession)

Student [entering class after Spring Break]: "You were right."
Me: "?"
Student: "Remember how you told me to keep working on my assignment on the last day of school so I wouldn't have to do it over break?"
Me: "Oh, now I remember."
Student: "And do you remember how I didn't want to do it and said I would just do it over the break?"
Me: "I do. I also remember saying that it wouldn't happen."
Student [sighing]: "I know. You were right." (3/27/18)

Quote of the Day (top secret)

Background: Partly as a social experiment, but mostly as a joke, I labeled a file folder as “Mister Hwang’s Personal Files. Do Not Open”. I also wrote “TOP SECRET” in bright red and included a note to mind your own business inside the folder. I then left the folder out in an area near my desk before class started. Here are two reactions that happened within just a few minutes of leaving the folder out.

Student 1 [upon opening the folder and reading my note]: “Oh! Was I not supposed to open this?”

Student 2: “What’s in here? What if it’s Mr. Hwang’s grades? Argh! I want to open it, but it says ‘Do Not Open’.”
I conveniently turn away.
Student 2: “It’s so intriguing!”
Several students laugh signifying the opening of the folder. (3/16/18)

Quote of the Day (cheating)

Student 1 [to Student 2]: “I heard that your class got caught cheating on your [subject name] exam.”
Student 2: “It’s so dumb.”
Student 1: “[Teacher name] found out because someone took a picture of the exam and sent it to everybody.”
Student 2: “I know! You know how [teacher name] found out? They took a picture of [student name]’s test. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing, so everyone was copying the wrong answers.”
Student 1: “That’s so stupid. Why do people even need to cheat? The test was even open notes.”
(3/15/18)

Quote of the Day (pie)

“Hey Mister, where’s our pie?” - Question from a high school student on Pi Day. (3/14/18)

Quote of the Day (lunch)

“Wow! Thanks Mister. I’m going to come in here for lunch everyday.” - Comment from a high school student after I shared some of my food with her and another student. (3/12/18)

Quote of the Day (girlfriend)

“Mister, who is that?” - Question from a high school student who walked in while I was watching a video of a female hiker being interviewed on camera. The student continued her interrogation, “Is that your girlfriend?” (3/12/18)

Quote of the Day (fire drill)

Student 1: “Yesterday’s fire drill was so cold!”
Student 2: “Yeah! I was freezing out there.”
Student 1: “If there was an actual fire it would’ve been like, ‘Nope! It’s too cold.’ Then put itself out.” (3/9/18)

Quote of the Day (Hocus Pocus)

Me [to a student laughing near the end of class]: “Be nice. Stop laughing at [student name]’s mistake.”

Student: “Oh! No, I wasn’t laughing at her.”

Me: “So what were you laughing at?”

Student: “I was just laughing at something that I thought of. It’s not even funny. I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

Me: “No, you can’t do that to me. You can’t tell me to wait that long.”

Student: “OK. You know how the plural of focus is foci [pronouncing it fəʊ.kaɪ]?”

Me: “And?”

Student: “And do you know that movie Hocus Pocus? Well, I was just thinking that if they made another one they could call it Hoci Poci.”

Quote of the Day (mixtape)

“That’s Mister Hwang’s mixtape.” - Comment from a student just after the fire alarm sounded near the end of class. (3/5/18)

Quote of the Day (fire alarm)

Student 1 [after a fire alarm suspiciously sounds right before school was to end]: “Mister, how do they know if it’s a false alarm or a real fire.”
Student 2: “They’re probably like ‘*sniff sniff* Oh! It’s a false alarm.’” (3/5/18)

Quote of the Day (M)

Student: "OK, I just sent it to you."
Me: "I don't see it. What address did you send it to?"
Student: "mhwang@..."
Me: "M?! What does the m stand for?"
Student [starts laughing to himself]: "Oh, I thought your first name was Mister." (3/1/18)

Quote of the Day (snacks)

Me: “How was the ACT yesterday?”
Student: “It was OK. Our snack break was too short...or at least I thought it was.”
Me: “Did they [the school] provide any snacks or did you have to bring your own?”
Student: “We had to bring our own...then Miss [the proctor] started asking us for food. I was like, ‘Slow Down! We’re not even friends.’” (2/28/18)

Quote of the Day (squirrel)

 “Did you just say ‘squirrel of twenty-five’?” - Question from from a high school student to his friend who was helping him with some problems involving square roots. (2/26/18)

Quote of the Day (dad)

Student 1: “I see Mister walking his dad down my street.”
Student 2: “Walking his dad?”
Student 1: “Psh! I meant walking his dog.”
(2/26/18)

Quote of the Day (lockdown)

Student: “Mister, did you hear that [teacher’s name] almost hit [administrator’s name]?”
Me: “What? Hit? As in with a car?”
Student: “No with a pole.”
Me: “???”
Student: “During the lockdown drill, [administrator] came into our classroom and [teacher] thought it was an intruder so he almost hit her.”
It turns out, administration couldn’t get a hold of the teacher to inform him that the drill was over so an administrator was sent to communicate its conclusion. She had tried to yell through the door but got no response so she used a key to open the door much to the surprise of the teacher. (2/22/18)

Quote of the Day (instigator)

Student 1: “Instigator? What does that mean?”
Student 2: “It’s someone who starts things. You know, causes trouble.”
Student 1: “Oh, now it makes sense why my mom calls me that.” (2/22/18)

Quote of the Day (Voldemort)

Student: “What was the name of the Asian teacher that looks like you?”
Me: “Don’t!”
Student: “Argh! What was his name?
Me [to other smiling students around him]: “Don’t mention his name.”
Student: “...Voldemort!” (2/21/18)

Quote of the Day (DIY)

Student 1: “You could just DIY it. DIY? No, DYI. You know what I’m saying, right?”
Student 2: “DYI? Do Yourself It? I’m pretty sure you mean DIY.”
Student 1: “No, DYI. Do Your... Ish.” (2/16/18)

Quote of the Day (eating)

Student [during lunch]: “Mister, I can hear you eating.”
Me: “And?”
Student: “And...and I’m hungry.” (2/15/18)

Quote of the Day (mess)

Student 1 reads an alert about a school shooting in Florida.
Student 2: “Man, Florida is so messed up.”
Student 3: “Our whole country is messed up. This happens way too often.”
(2/14/18)

Quote of the Day (environment)

Student 1 [talking about registration]: "You should take Environmental Science."
Student 2 [pauses to think]: "Nah. I don't care about the environment." (2/13/18)

Quote of the Day (box)

Student 2 [after congratulating Student 1 as he entered the room]: “Mister, did you hear about what [Student 1’s name] did at lunch?”
I had already heard that Student 1 asked a girl to prom by hiding in a box on the stage in the cafeteria during lunch.
Student 3: “I have video of him coming out of the box with the flowers and balloons! Do you want to see it?”
Student 4: “[Student 1], you just raised the bar for how every girl wants to be asked to prom.”
Student 1 [several minutes later]: “Mister, it was really hot in the box; I’m feeling a little light-headed. Can I go to the health room?” (2/9/18)

Quote of the Day (registration)

“The lady in the office just signed me up for your AP Calculus class next year. She even signed where you were supposed to sign it? Can she just do that?” - Comment from a high school student. She continued, “So if I fail your class, it’ll be her fault.” (2/8/18)

Quote of the Day (learning)

“Oh my gosh! I learn so much in this class!” - Exclamation from a student in the middle of class. I had just shown her how to use 2 fingers to scroll after she had voiced her frustration at how tiny the scroll bar was on certain websites on her computer. (2/6/18)

Quote of the Day (fruit snacks)

Student [before school started]: “Mister, I came in here to check my gra...OOH! Can I have a fruit snack?”
(Same) Student [about an hour and a half later during a class break]: “I came to see if you still had fruit snacks.” (2/6/18)

Quote of the Day (bets)

Student:  “Mister, I don’t know if [student’s name] is coming to school today.”
Me: “Why? Is he sick?”
Student: “No. It’s because he bet so many people that the Patriots would win the Super Bowl.” (2/5/18)

Quote of the Day (donuts)

Student 1 [throwing something away]: “Hey, there’s a donut box in here! Who had donuts?”
Student 2: “Oh, that was mine. Me and [friend’s name] ate the whole thing.”
Student 1: “You didn’t save one for me!?!?”
Me: “Yeah, where’s mine?”
Student 2: “You couldn’t eat them; they had chocolate frosting.”
[about an hour later]
Student 2 [seen struggling while running for a PE class]: “Mister! I shouldn’t have had all those donuts.” (2/2/18)

Quote of the Day (prom)

Student 1: “You have to stop asking me to help you find a prom date.”
Student 2: “Why? I need your help?”
Student 1: “If you don’t stop begging, I’m going to write ‘I need a prom date’ on a post-it note and paste it on your backpack.” (2/1/18)

Quote of the Day (Halloween)

“You should dress up as Mr. Lau for Halloween.” - Suggestion from a high school student who revels in the fact that people mistake me for her favorite teacher. She continued, “And he can dress up as you!” (1/31/18)

Quote of the Day (fake)

Student: “Mister, [friend’s name] asked me if that was your real voice.”
Me: “And what did you say?”
Student: “I said that it’s been like that for the whole year. You know what she said?”
Me: “No, what did she say?”
Student: “She said it sounded fake.” (1/30/18)

Quote of the Day (doppelgänger)

Student 1: “Mister, when I tried to type in your email address, it said you didn’t exist.”
Me: “I didn’t exist or my email address didn’t exist?”
Student 2: “What!? Mister is fake? Maybe you have a ‘dope-ganger’. Is that what they call it?”
Student 1: “I think you mean a ‘doppel-gangster’.”
Me: “Doppelgänger?”
Student 1: “Yeah! See, I was right.”
(1/29/18)

Quote of the Day (sickness)

Student 1 [entering the class]: “Mister, I almost didn’t come to class today.”
Student 2: “Oh, you got that Sixth Period Sickness?” (1/26/18)

Quote of the Day (license)

“Oh, Mr. Hwang, you’d better watch out now.” - A threat from a smiling student just before class started. He continued, “I got my license yesterday.” (1/15/18)

Quote of the Day (name)

Student 1: “Mr. Lau, look! I got it right.”
Student 2 [with a stunned look on her face]: “What did you just call him?”
Student 1: “No, I mean, Mr. Hwang!”
Student 2: “He just told us about how people confuse him for Mr. Lau.”
Student 1: “Mr. Hwang, I’m sorry. You know I would never do that on purpose.” (1/24/18)

Quote of the Day (help)

”YES! I got to help someone with math today.” - Exclamation in the middle of a lesson from a student who typically struggles in class. Towards the end of the period, the student that he had helped complained, “I did so bad in class today. I even needed help from [student’s name]; that’s how bad it was.” (1/23/18)

Quote of the Day (vegan)

Student 1: “Did you know you can eat Oreos even if you’re vegan?”
Student 2: “Wait!? Are you vegan?”
Student 1: “No! I’m not a vegan; I’m a Samoan!” (1/18/18)

Quote of the Day (eyebrows)

“It hurt so bad; I was crying my eyebrows out.” - Statement from a high school senior. Upon saying this, she saw the baffled look on my face and continued, “Eyeballs, eyebrows same thing.” (1/19/18)

Quote of the Day (Flintstones)

“They look like the wheels on those cars from the Flintstones.” - Comment from a high school student upon looking at his graphs of circles. (1/18/18)

Quote of the Day (voice)

Student 1: "Are you ever going to get your voice back?

Student 2: "Yeah. We don't even know what your real voice sounds like."

Student 1 [in a really gravelly low voice]: "Hi. Welcome to Trigonometry." (11/2/17)

Quote of the Day (ballistic)

Me: “How was your weekend? How was it with that false alarm?”
Student: “Yeah, so it was pretty crazy. As soon as we got that notification, my parents were going ballistic.”
Me: “Wait, was that a pun?”
Student: “Huh?”
(1/16/18)

Quote of the Day (present)

“You’re still here?” - Question from a high school student to his friend as he entered the classroom. His friend bragged that he was switching out of class yesterday. (1/12/18)

Quote of the Day (new year)

Student [between labored breaths from climbing the stairs to my class]: “New year, same old stairs.” (1/11/18)