Quote of the Day (robbery)

Student: “Mister! Did you know that they’re making me pay a $40 commencement fee!?”
Me: “I think they charge every senior that much.”
Student: “Yeah, but I’m not even walking. Argh! This school is robbing me!” (4/30/19)

Quote of the Day (prison)

“If you go to jail when you’re pregnant, where does the baby go?” - Question from a high school student just as class was ending. (4/29/19)

Quote of the Day (polo)

Student 1: “I only know two girls on the Marco Polo team.”
Student 2 [who is on the girls water polo team]: “Me and who else?”
Student 3 [to me]: “Did Student 1 just say ‘Marco Polo’?” (4/26/19)

Quote of the Day (rag)

Me: “Is this the pin you got for being on honor roll?”
Student 1: “Yeah. I wish they gave us ice cream instead.”
Me: “How about you, Student 2? Where’s your pin?”
Student 2: “I didn’t get a pin. I got a rag.”
Me: “???”
Student 1 [motions like he’s spinning something over his head]: “It’s like a terrible towel.”
Student 2: “No! It’s a rag. I didn’t work that hard for a whole quarter just for a rag.” (4/25/19)

Quote of the Day (twins)

[One week ago] Student 1 [to me]: "Hey, I have that same shirt."
Me [thoughtlessly]: "I'll wear this next Wednesday if you want to wear yours."
[Today] Student 1 enters the class with Student 2.
Student 2 [looking at me then at Student 1]: "Hey look! Twins!" (4/24/19)

Quote of the Day (shrug)

Me (to Student 1): “Student 2 told me that you have a very famous shrug.”
Student 1 [trying really hard not to shrug]: “I don’t know what they’re talking about.” (4/23/19)

Quote of the Day (youtube)

"Mister, that was a nice hike." - Confusing comment from a high school student before class started. When I asked him what he meant, he turned to his friend and said, "I got a notification and was the first one to watch his YouTube video." So now I know who one of my subscribers is. (4/22/19)

Quote of the Day (cockroach)

“Mister, is it cock-A-roach or cock-O-roach?” - Question from a high school student who was writing a report for another class. (4/18/19)

Quote of the Day (prom pictures)

Student hands me several prom pictures.
Me: "Whoa! Why do I get so many?"
Student: "I have so many [prom] pictures. I just want to get rid of all of them."
Me: "How many did you get?"
Student [does calculations]: "Around 50. Plus, it's not like I really like him anyway; we're just friends."
Me: "Why don't you give them to him?"
Student: "He has about 50 too. I don't want that many pictures of him in my house so I asked my dad what I should do with them if I can't get rid of them. He said, 'Well, we are having a barbecue for your graduation.'" (4/17/19)

Quote of the Day (minion)

“I’m not trying to be mean, but were you trying to dress up as a minion today?” - Question from a high school student who received the biggest stink eye from his classmate who was wearing a yellow t-shirt and jeans. (4/16/19)

Quote of the Day (Notre Dame)

Student 1: “Hey Mister, did you hear about Notre Dame (Paris)?”
Me: “Yes. It’s so sad.”
Student 2: “Why? What happened?”
Student 1: “There was a big fire that caused lots of damage.”
Student 2: “Well, I guess Student 3 can’t go there (Indiana).” (4/15/19)

Quote of the Day (field trip)

Me: “How was your field trip?”
Student 1 [beaming with pride]: “Oh, it was good. The lady told us we were the best volunteers.”
Student 2: “She’s said the exact same thing to us every time I’ve gone there.” (4/11/19)

Quote of the Day (calculator)

Student 1: "Hand me my [unintelligible]."
Student 2: "Did you just say 'crackulator'?"
Student 1: "No! I said...'calculator'."
Student 2: "I'm pretty sure you said..."
Student 3: "Don't lie. I heard you say 'crackulator' too." (4/10/19)

Quote of the Day (vlog)

“Hi guys, welcome to class. This is my 6th period, and here we have my friend, [student name]. She’s really pretty and athletic, and she’s really smart.” - Comments from a high school student who was recording her vlog (for YouTube) right before class started. (4/8/19)

Quote of the Day (lunch)

“Sloppy joe or chicken wraps. Ew. What is wrong with the world?” - Comment from a high school student after reading the lunch menu aloud. (4/8/19)

Quote of the Day (power)

Student [talking about senior quotes in the yearbook]: “That’s so dumb! Why can’t we have it?”
Me: “Why are you complaining to me about it?”
Student: “Because you’re a teacher; you have power!” (4/5/19)

Quote of the Day (quirks)

“Mister, thanks for putting up with all our quirks.” - Comment from a student at the end of class after I had observed her friend put tape all over her fingers and later gobbled like a turkey. (4/4/19)

Quote of the Day (imposter)

“Hey look guys, I’m Mister.” - Comment from a student who pulled out her glasses from her bag, put them on, and walked out of the class. She re-entered the class and began whispering, “Hi class. Today we’re going to learn about...” (4/3/19)

Quote of the Day (ists)

Me: “Has anyone seen Student 1 today?”
Student 2: “Oh, he’s not here today. He went to one of those ists.”
Me: “????”
Student 2: “You know like a dentist or an orthodontist. One of those ists.” (4/1/19)

Quote of the Day (April Fools)

Student 1 [male]: “Hey Student 2 [female]!”
Student 2: “Huh?”
Student 1: “You’re not my friend, and I hate you.”
Student 2 [stunned look on her face]
Student 1: “April fools. I’m still your friend.”
Student 2 [under her breath]: “I kinda wish the first part was true.” (4/1/19)