Quote of the Day (candy corn)

"Honestly, if all I got for Halloween was candy corn, I think I'd be happy with that." - Comment from a high school student after his peers discussed which candy they preferred the most. (10/29/21)

Quote of the Day (favorite)

 Student [in the middle of class]: "Mister, are we your favorite class?"

Me: "It's not relevant."

Student: "But we're your favorite, right?"

Me: "Ask me later."

Student [at the end of class]: "So Mister, which period is your favorite?"

Me: "Lunch." (10/28/21)

Quote of the Day (apocalypse)

 Student [entering the class]: "Mister, I had a dream about you the other day."

Me: "Uh oh."

Student [continues]: "Yeah, I dreamt you were gone and had a sub. And then there was a zombie apocalypse." (10/25/21)

Quote of the Day (rancher)

 Student 1: "Mister, you know who you remind me of when you teach?"

Me [genuinely confused]: "Who?"

Student 1: "So you know how you always go around to your students to see if they're OK...It reminds me of a rancher checking up on his cows."

Student 2 [who had been listening to our conversation]: "Mooo." (10/26/21)

Quote of the Day (transparent)

 Me [noticing Student 1's new hair color]: "Oh, you changed your hair color."

Student 1: "Mm hmm. Do you like it?"

Me: "It look nice."

Student 2: "Should I dye my hair that color too? Do you think it would look nice?"

Me: "Sure. I guess."

Student 3: I want to dye my hair now too. I want to dye my hair transparent." (10/25/21)

Quote of the Day (version)

Student 1 [talking with Student 2 and Student 3 after the test]: "Did you get two questions with no solution?"

Student 2: "No. Mine was on the front."

Student 3: "Yeah, mine was number three I think."

Student 1: "That's not fair!"

Student 1 [to me across the room]: "Hey Mister! That's not fair."

Me: "What's not fair?"

Student 1: "You gave me the harder version of the test."

Plot twist: I gave everyone the exact same version of the test. (10/22/21)

Quote of the Day (diarrhea)

Student 1 [overhearing my conversation with Student 3]: "Wait! What? There's a test today?"

Student 2 & Student 3: "[laughing] How could you not know there was a test today?" "Yeah, Mister's only been talking about it every day even before the break."

Student 1 [defensively]: "I guess I wasn't paying attention. I had a brain fart, OK?"

Student 2 shakes her head.

Student 3 [muttering in disbelief]: "More like brain diarrhea." (10/21/21)

Quote of the Day (square)

"I'm tired of doing stuff with triangles. I wish we could do stuff with squares. Let's do Square-gonometry." - Comment from a high school student in Trigonometry (which is by definition the branch of mathematics dealing with the relations of the sides and angles of triangles) (10/19/21)

Quote of the Day (butt chin)

Student 1: "Mister, Student 2 and I were just talking. Neither of us have ever seen you without your mask on."

Me: "Isn't that a good thing?"

Student 1: "Well, no. We don't know what you look like."

Student 2: "Yeah, I bet him that you were rocking a mustache under there."

Student 1: "I told him no. I bet that you have a butt chin. Can you just [motions to pull down my mask] so we can see who's right?"

Both students turned in incomplete assignments at the end of class. (10/19/21)

Quote of the Day (hate)

 Me [handing a progress report to Student]: “I graded your [late] exam. Here’s your current grade.”

Student [staring dejectedly at the progress report]: “It’s almost like you hate me or something.” (10/8/21)

Quote of the Day (late)

 Me [to a roomful of procrastinators trying to finish their work on the second to last day of the quarter]: “Just letting you know, I’m leaving at 3:00.”

Student [who I helped till 3:30 last Thursday, Friday, AND this Monday]: “Really? You can’t stay just a little bit longer so I can finish this?” (10/7/21)

Quote of the Day (emojis)

 Student 1 [to Student 2]: “No. I’m telling you. They’re not.”

Student 2 [to Student 1]: “What do you mean? They’re such a great way to communicate how you feel. Try wait.”

Student 2 [turning to me]: “Mister, what do you think? Are emojis cool? Do you use emojis?”

Me: “No. Emojis are for old people. 😉”

Student 1: “See! I told you.” (10/1/21)

Quote of the Day (struggle)

 Student [at the start of class]: “Mister, I need help. I mean, I get it, but I’m just really struggling with the calculator stuff.”

Student [right after the bell rang for class to end]: “YES! I’m finished. I love math.” (10/5/21)

Quote of the Day (right)

Student 1 [showing his answer and Student 2’s answer to me]: “Mister, which one is right?”

Me [pointing to Student 1’s work]: “This one.”

Student 1 [to Student 2]: “See! I told you I was right. You should never have doubted me.”

Student 2: “What!? What about the last question? Didn’t you get that one wrong?”

Student 1: “Yeah, but I’m always right.”

Me: “Always?”

Student 1: “Well, maybe not always.”

Student 2: “Right. Didn’t you get that last one wrong?”

Student 1: “OK, how about this. I’m right more often than Student 2. That’s my final offer.” (10/4/21)

Quote of the Day (daughter II)

Student 1 [bounding into class while laughing]: “Mister! My sister told me that one of your students asked if I was your daughter.”

Me: “Oh…”

Me [making eye contact with Student 2 in the corner who had mistakenly asked me that yesterday]: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” (10/1/21)