Quote of the Day (Latin)

Student 1 [to Student 2]: “I bet you don’t know what ‘post hoc ergo propter hoc’ means.”
Student 2: “Poke hop...what!? Is that like some kind of Harry Potter spell or something?”
Student 1: “No, it’s Latin.”
Student 2: “Where do they speak Latin?”
Me: “Latin America.”
Student 3 [laughing]: “This is my favorite class.” (4/30/18)

Quote of the Day (cube)

Student 1 [to Student 2]: “Wait! So do you know who took it?”
Student 2: “I don’t know! But I do know that someone is going to hell for taking my [charging] cube.” (4/27/18)

Quote of the Day (October)

Me [to Student 1]: “What month is October?”
Student 1: “...Eight!”
Student 2: “Eight!? What?!?!”
Student 1: “You know, because ‘octo’ means eight.”
(4/26/18)

Quote of the Day (pencil sharpener)

“Mister, does this even work?” - Question from a high school student who was trying to use my pencil sharpener that wasn’t plugged in. (4/25/18)

Quote of the Day (suggestion)

“You know what you should do? You should write down all the funny stuff we say and post it somewhere so other teachers can guess who said it.” - Suggestion from a high school student who was surprised that I remembered something funny she had said earlier in the year. (4/24/18)

Quote of the Day (plant)

Me [picking up a plant that Student 1 brought into class]: “What kind of plant is this?”
Student 1: “I think it’s ‘Akila’.”
Me: “Is it native? It might be ‘Ākia”
Student: “Oh! That might be it. It’s so cute; I named him ‘Bonhomie’.”
Me: ???
Student [googling the word for me]: “It’s an SAT [vocabulary] word!” (4/23/18)

Quote of the Day (blood)

Student 1: “I wish I could donate blood.”
Student 2: “Why? Why would you want to get poked like that?”
Student 1: “Because I want to be like Wonder Woman and save the world.”
Student 2: “Hello!? You’re only saving three lives. It’s not like you’re saving a whole country.”
Student 1: “Yeah, but I am saving the whole country just...um...you know, like one pint at a time.” (4/19/18)

Quote of the Day (ugly)

Student 1 [after I caught an easy mistake in her work]: “Man! I’m so stupid.”
Me: “Hey! Don’t say that about yourself.”
Student 2: “Aw, don’t say that. You’re smart.”
Student 3: “Yeah. [Student 1], you’re so smart. You’re always helping me.”
Student 1 [whispering to herself]: “Wow. Maybe I should insult myself more often so people will compliment me.”
Student 1 [aloud]: “Man! I’m so ugly.”
Student 2 & Student 3: “...” (4/19/18)

Quote of the Day (almonds)

“Mister, it’s too light. Do you have anything that I can put inside to make it heavier?” - Question from a high school student as she was writing a note to put into an empty can of almonds that she planned to leave in my classroom for an unsuspecting student. Later, once her prank was complete she remarked, “I feel like I’m in that TV show ‘The Office’.” (4/18/18)

Quote of the Day (transcript)

Student 1: “Does anyone know how much they charge for a copy of our transcript?”
Student 2: “I think it’s like thirty-five cents.”
Student 1: “THIRTY-FIVE CENTS! I can’t believe they’re making us pay thirty-five cents for a piece of paper with just some numbers on it.” (4/17/18)

Quote of the Day (rural)

“Hey! You can’t do that.” - Argument from a high school senior near the end of class while everyone else was doing their work. What I thought was a debate about a math problem turned out to be a squabble about her friend’s pros and cons list she had made for her top three college choices. As a con for one choice she had written “too rural” and as a con for another choice she had written “big city”. (4/16/18)

Quote of the Day (dog)

Student: “Hey Mister! Do you want to see a picture of my dog?”
Me: “Um...OK.”
[waits for student to produce her picture]
Student: “I already sent it to your email.”
When I checked my inbox later in the period, I found an email titled, “God’s Greatest Masterpiece”. (4/13/18)

Quote of the Day (observation)

Student [after a pair of observers left the room]: “Whew. I can breathe again.”
Me: “?? You know that they’re really not here to observe you, right?”
Student: “I know. We just want to make you look good.” (4/12/18)

Quote of the Day (love)

Conversation between two male students as they were leaving another teacher’s class.
Student 1: “OK Miss [teacher’s name]. Love you!”
Student 2 [whispering]: “Dude, did you just say ‘Love you.’ to Miss [teacher’s name]?”
Student 1: “Huh? Did I?! [turns around and goes back to the class] Sorry, I meant ‘thank you’.” (4/11/18)

Quote of the Day (Mililani)

Student 1: “Mister, what side of the island are you from?”
Me: “Hau...um, What side of the island do you THINK I’m from?”
Student 1 [with no hesitation]: “Mililani.”
Me: “Wow. That’s a pretty racially loaded answer.”
Student 1 [getting defensive]: “What!? No, I didn’t mean it like that.”
Me: “So what did you mean?”
Student 2: “At least she didn’t say ‘Iolani’.”
Me: “That’s not a side of the island.”
Student 1 [trying to backtrack]: “No, I mean, like, Miss [teacher name who is of a different race] is from Mililani too so...”
Student 3 [from the back of the room]: “Mililani!? Isn’t that where all the smart Asians are from?” (4/9/18)

Quote of the Day (college)

Senior 1: “I hate college. It’s making me so stressed.”
Senior 2: “I know, right? And we’re not even in it yet.” (4/9/18)

Quote of the Day (breathing)

Student 1 [to Student 2 in the middle of a test]: “Argh! Stop it!”
Me: “What’s going on? Is everything OK?”
Student 1: “Mister, it’s her breathing. It’s so loud. I can’t focus. It’s distracting me.”
Me: “You do realize that by yelling about it, you’re now distracting everyone, right?”
Student 1: “Yeah, but her brother does it to. [mimics heavy breathing] I worry about them. It sounds so unhealthy.” (4/5/18)

Quote of the Day (test)

Student 1: “Hey! Didn’t we already take this test? I could’ve sworn we did this already.”
Student 2: “NO! Hello? The tests all have the same format so they look the same.”
Student 1 [ignoring her friend’s rational explanation]: “Hmm. Maybe I dreamt that I already took this test.” (4/4/18)

Quote of the Day (Thursday)

Student: “Mister, is the test Thursday and Friday?”
Me: “What does it say on the board?”
Student: “I know. It says it’s ‘tomorrow and Friday’.”
Me: “What day is it tomorrow?”
Student: “Oh... Thursday.” (4/4/18)

Quote of the Day (letter)

“Mister, did you get that letter that was handed out yesterday?” - Question from a high school student regarding a letter that was sent home with every student detailing a worrisome account of a group of students that were approached by a stranger on campus after school. When I answered his question and told him that I handed out all of the letters, he gleefully exclaimed, “That was me! I was in that group [of students].” (4/3/18)

Quote of the Day (power)

Student 1 [as class ended just minutes after the power went out]: “Bye Mister! Have a good weekend.”
Student 2: “Weekend!? It’s only Monday.”
Student 1: “Oh, right. Sorry. When the power goes off, my brain goes off.” (4/2/18)