Compliment (?) of the Day

"You're very helpful." -- A friend's comment to me in regards to the advice I had given him a few days prior. My friend was concerned since his daughter (my former student) was contemplating going out with a guy twice her age. My advice to him was to tell his daughter that the guy she was interested in was the same age as me; apparently that quickly solved the problem because it "grossed her out". (9/9/10)

Offer of the Day

"Mister! You wanna go paintballing with me?" -- A student's eager invitation right before the weekend. (I politely declined; I think he just wanted some justification to shoot something at me) (9/3/10)

Misunderstanding of the Day

"Turkey baste?" -- A teacher's misinterpretation of the presenter's use of the words "perky pace" in today's meeting. (9/8/10)

Quote of the Day

"That's because you're old." -- A student's response to my telling the class that I've never owned an iPod. (9/2/10)

Quote of the Day

"The cure for that is MORE hiking." -- A friend's recommendation after I made the excuse that I didn't want to attempt the 13 mile hike next week because my legs felt wobbly and sore even after doing a short 5 mile hike. (9/5/10)

Explanation of the Day

"My car doesn't go in reverse so I don't want to drive it to certain places." -- A friend's reason why he was asking for a ride (9/2/10)

Offer of the Day

"You like me slap him for you?" -- A female student's question after a male student called me a jerk. (9/3/10)

Quote of the Day

"My favorite word is 'no'." -- Confession from one of my students who refused to sit down in class.  (This heartfelt admission came after I used his favorite word when he asked if he could go to the bathroom.) (9/2/10)

Overshare of the Day

"The sub was getting mad and yelling at us. She dropped a paper and when she leaned over to pick it up, we could all see her underwear! My eyes were burning." -- A 7th grader who started talking about the sub in her other class after she got done complaining about my substitute. (9/1/10)

Conversation of the Day

"WHAT?!"
"Dig your butt."
"I did. And your face came out of it."
-- 7th period cracks me up.

Question of the Day

"Did you do that?" -- A coworker's question after I asked him if he saw the dead pig wedged in a tree on the Maakua Ridge Trail. (8/27/10)

(Scented) Quote of the Day

"Mister, you smell like portugese sausage." -- A (portly) student's random comment in the middle of class. (8/27/10)

Interpretation of the Day

"I graduated magna cum loud." -- Probably not what a co-worker meant when he was emphatically boasting about his (elementary) school achievements. (8/26/10)

Quote of the Day

"That's the first thing he said to me too when I first met him." -- A 7th grade student who caught me rolling my eyes when his friend enthusiastically asked me if I had a facebook account and for me to add him as a friend. (8/19/10)

Quote of the Day

"You're on the committee, but you're not committed." -- My mentor teacher's response to my question of why I wasn't informed about a meeting for a committee that I had signed up for. (8/24/10)

(Obnoxious) Quote of the Day

"SWEET Monday!" -- Greeting from a (sadistically) smiling coworker who knows how much I abhor Mondays. (8/23/10)

Quote of the Day

"Teaching is the best birth control." -- A coworker's reason why he has refused to have kids of his own. (8/19/10)

Quote of the Day

"I got caught peeing in the bathroom sink." -- A friend's reminiscing of his elementary school days. (8/17/10)

(Grumpy) Quote of the Day

"I wish they would move their sorry ***es and let us pass. I already got bit twice." -- A hiker who was upset about the people in front stopping to take pictures so often that the mosquitoes had more chances swarm around us. (8/15/10)

Confusion of the Day

"Is it supposed to be cake...or brownies?" -- A friend's reaction to the thank-you-brownies I baked and gave to her. (8/5/10)