Quote of the Day (claustrophobia)

"Stop sitting so close to me; you're making me feel constipated." - Quote of the day contribution from my student who was telling me that her friend had accidentally replaced the word "claustrophobic" with something far more embarrassing. (1/18/13)

Quote of the Day (pizza)

"Mister, are you hungry? Do you want a piece of pizza?" - Generous offer from a student after school. She continued, "I found it in the bottom of my bag." After I declined, she flung it in the trash saying, "Yeah, it didn't quite look right." (1/16/13)

Quote of the Day (record)

"Mister, we're one and one now." - Spontaneous comment from a student who found out that I follow the Utah Jazz earlier in the year. The Jazz just beat his favorite team (Miami Heat) 104-97 on Monday. (1/16/13)

Quote of the Day (loud)

"Everybody told me it was much quieter without me around." - A student's boast upon returning from an absence. (1/15/13)

Quote of the Day (racist)

"Wow Mister, you're so racist." - One student's grumpy reaction after I chose to ignore her shouting to get my attention and instead continued to help students who were quietly raising their hands for help. (1/14/13)

Quote of the Day (bug)

"Why do I always find bugs in my friends' hair?" - Comment of exasperation from a student who warned her female friend that there was a spider in her hair in the middle of class causing a minor commotion. As I took the bug from the student (on a pencil), I noticed that it was actually a baby praying mantis. You don't know how badly I wanted to take a picture of it before I released it outside of my classroom. (1/11/13)

Quote of the Day (checkup)

"Oh thank goodness! You didn't die." - Greeting from a student peeking around the doorway much to the bewilderment of her peers. This was the student who accidentally fed me peanut products after learning of my allergies to them. (1/10/13)

Quote of the Day (power)

"I hope it was a Decepticon." - Quip from a high school student after he learned that it was a blown transformer that caused a partial power outage on campus. (1/9/13)

Quote of the Day (allergies)

"WAIT! Don't eat the cake!" - Warning from a student running down the hall who had just shared some cake with me. When she had originally offered it, I asked if there were any peanuts in it because of my peanut allergy. After she had left the class, she learned that the butterfingers her cake was laced with do actually contain peanut elements, and she came dashing back to make sure I wouldn't eat it. (1/8/13)

Quote of the Day (BCS)

"Roll tide!" - Quite possibly the only Alabama supporter among all the Manti Teo and Notre Dame supporters at our school. (1/713)

Quote of the Day (movie)

"Hey, have you guys seen that movie 'Lez Miserables'?" - Mispronunciation by a female high schooler that I left uncorrected. (1/4/13)

Quote of the Day (nope)

"HI MISTER! DID YOU MISS ME?" - Enthusiastic greeting shouted to me by a high school student upon her entrance to class on the first day after Winter Break. (1/3/13)

Quote of the Day (friend)

"Mister, I swear I'll be your best friend if you make my grade anything but that F." - An easily rejected offer from a student who came in for help for the first time on the last day of the semester. She got offended when I told her I didn't want a beggar as a friend. (12/14/12)

Quote of the Day (book)

"Mister, would this be a bad time to ask if I could check out a book?" - Question from a student on the second to last day of the semester. Guess what grade he/she is currently getting? (12/13/12)

Quote of the Day (imaginary)

"Hey Mister! Did you see the way I wrote my name on today's assignment?" - A student's excited question right before he rummaged through the assignments to show me he had replaced all the i's in his name with square roots of negative one. (12/12/12)

Quote of the Day (cards)

"Oh wow! You're going home already?" - Question from a student who was on his way up to my classroom thirty minutes past my contractually obligated time to be at school. This is the same student who would try to break out his deck of cards every time I wasn't looking in his general direction during our review in class today. (12/11/12)

Quote of the Day (birthday)

"Hey Mister, what can you give me that I can give to my sister? It's her birthday today." - Question from a former student who wandered into my classroom after school. (12/10/12)

Quote of the Day (evacuation)

"I'll hold that." - A student's kind offer to hold my clipboard that I used to take my attendance during today's evacuation drill. I later realized he only wanted to carry it so he could fan himself while we waited for the drill to finish. Other whiny comments/questions included: "You know, if there really was a bomb, we'd all be dead by now." "If there really was a tsunami, I'd just walk home." "Do we have to stand in single file line?" (12/7/12)

Quote of the Day (lunch)

"Oh! It's lunch; I don't have to ask you if I can use the bathroom." - Self-realization from a student who came into my classroom for some help during lunch. (12/6/12)

Quote of the Day (living)

"I don't know how you can do this for a living." - Honest question accompanied by a sigh from a  student after struggling through a difficult question with my assistance. (12/4/12)