Quote of the Day (Ottawa)

Student 1 (looking through a booklet): "Where's 'Oh-toe-wah'?"
Student 2: "You mean Ottawa?"
Student 1: "Yeah, that's what I meant."
Student 2: "The way you said it sounded like a Pokemon."
(2/22/17)

Quote of the Day (whiplash)

"Dude, her mood-swings are so bad they give me whiplash." - Comment from a high school student to her peer about one of their teachers. (2/14/17)

Quote of the Day (marathons)

"I'd rather run a marathon every day than go to English class." - Comment from a high school student right after class finished. I later learned that she had a presentation in her next class that was giving her some major anxiety. I heard she did a really good job. (2/16/17)

Quote of the Day (Penn State)

Student 1 (shaking a shirt angrily): "Mister, look at this! My stupid pen leaked so I had to change."
A few moments later, Student 2 enters with Student 1's assignment.
Student 2: "Where do you want me to put this?"
Student 1: "Just set it by my pen-stained shirt."
Student 2: "Why do you have a Penn State shirt?"
Student 1 & Student 2 share confused looks. (2/16/17)

Quote of the Day (chicken)

Student 1 (reacting to a trivia question regarding the name of Charlie Brown's beagle): "That's easy! I named my chicken after him."
Student 2: "You named your chicken 'Snoopy'?"
Student 1: "Yup."
Student 2: "Cool. I named my chicken 'Katsu'."
(2/15/17)

Quote of the Day (chocolate)

Student 1: "Who gave that [box of chocolates] to you?"

Student 2: "This? Oh, [student name] gave this to me...but I think I forgot to say thank you."

Student 1: "What? How did that happen?"

Student 2: "Because, when he gave it to me I think all I said was, 'I can't eat all of this!'"

Student 1: "Then why is it almost all gone now?" (2/14/17)

Quote of the Day (hat)

Student (holding a black cap): "Mister, do you know if you can put hats in the wash?"
Me (reaching over to see the hat's care instructions): "Let's check."
Student: "I wouldn't touch that."
Me: "Why not?"
Student: "Because I dropped it in the toilet."
(2/10/17)

Quote of the Day (hatred)

Student (cheerfully from down the hall): "Mister! I don't hate AP Stats anymore. I'm finally starting to understand what's going on in class."
Me: "Nice! I'm happy to hear th..."
Student: "It's because I've actually been doing the homework. It's amazing how much I can understand once I started doing my homework; I guess I should have been doing my homework all this time."
(2/9/17)

Quote of the Day (food)

"Wasting food is a sin." - Scolding from a high school senior after he saw me throwing away the last slice of a mushy apple that I had forced myself to eat. (2/8/17)

Quote of the Day (password)

"My first password was 'teddybear'." - Confession from a high school student after she overheard me warning her friend not to divulge her school account password to anyone. (2/1/17)

Quote of the Day (photoshop)

Student (whispering right before class started): "Mister! Did you know that someone photoshopped your face on that salt guy?"
Me: *shrug*
Student (continuing to whisper but somewhat more seriously): "Do you know who did it? Are you not going to do anything about it?" (2/3/17)

Quote of the Day (donuts)

Student (after school): "What are you doing?"
Me: "Sending emails to the parents of my students that scored 100%."
Student: "I remember when you did that for me. Last time I got donuts."
...
Student: "Can you email my parents too even though I didn't score 100%?"
Me: "No. Not after the kind of mistake that you made."
Student: "Please! You can even tell them that I knew how to do everything, but just accidentally put three times one is two." (2/3/17)

Quote of the Day (fake)

"For a while I thought it was real, and I thought, 'Whoa! He's really confident!'" - Confession from a former student who went out of her way to tell me that she appreciated the humor of my recent photoshopped picture that I had posted on Instagram. (2/2/17)

Quote of the Day (score)

"It's just my test score." - Sheepish comment from a normally very reserved and upstanding high school student after I asked her what was on a note she passed to a friend as the class wrapped up a test. She was reluctant to show the note to me so I could confirm her story; after seeing her low score I could see why she was so hesitant to show it to me. (2/1/17)

Quote of the Day (judgement)

Me to a student who was absent the day before: "Where were you yesterday?"
Student 1 : "OK, don't judge me. I came to school yesterday, but forgot my bag at home so I went back to go get it."
Student 2: "But you never bring anything in your bag that you use for this class?"
Student 1: "Hey! Don't judge me!"
Student 2: "Mister already judged you when you didn't come to class yesterday." (1/31/17)

Quote of the Day (Ice Palace)

"The only good thing about Hawaii is the Ice Palace." - Controversial statement from a high school student who had been raving about wanting to travel to Singapore. (1/30/17)

Quote of the Day (Jack Daniels)

Student (reading something online): "Jack Daniels!?!"
Me (getting whiplash from turning around so fast and listening to this conversation a lot more attentively): "Excuse me?"
Student (very earnestly): "Who is he? Isn't he a country singer or something?" (1/27/17)

Quote of the Day (house)

Student: "Mister, do you live in a house?"
Me: (confused & irritated look on my face)
Student: "Oh no! I meant 'Do you live in an apartment or a house?'"
(1/26/17)

Quote of the Day (shabu shabu)

Student 1 (talking to her peer about foods she likes to eat): "Shabu shabu!"
Student 2 (who had been eavesdropping on this conversation): "What!?"
Student 1: "Shabu shabu. You know, where they bring you the food and you're supposed to cook it in the pot in front of you."
Student 2: "Oh, I thought you were talking about the whale that's at Sea World." (1/20/17)

Quote of the Day (dumb)

"Oh mister, she's not racist. She's just dumb." - Comment from a high school student in defense of one of his peers who had made a somewhat questionable statement regarding Asians. (1/24/17)