Quote of the Day (mean)

A few weeks ago, a student used an empty can of almonds to make a prank by writing “Free. Help yourself.” on it and leaving it in plain sight on my desk.
Student 1 [peering into the empty almond can and frowning]: “That’s so mean!”
Student 1 [turning to Student 2, smiling and handing her the can]: “Hey! Do you want some almonds!” (5/8/18)

Quote of the Day (ulcer)

“The other day I saw a sentence in my biology book. I want to make it my senior quote.” - Comment from a high school student after class ended. The sentence she found so amusing was, “Todd has a peptic ulcer.” (5/10/18)

Quote of the Day (marriage)

Student 1: “Ugh. Miss drives me crazy.”
Student 2: “Yeah, she seems so angry all the time.”
Student 3: “Maybe she just needs a husband.”
Student 2: “*gasp* What about Mister!?”
All three students turn to look at me. (5/2/18)

P.S. - I only caught the tail end of their conversation so please don’t ask me the name of the teacher they were talking about.

Quote of the Day (chair)

“Mister, why do you always pull up your chair when you answer my questions? Is it because you think it’ll take a long time?” - Query from a high school student who struggles with a lot of basic concepts during my last class of the day. (5/8/18)

Quote of the Day (March)

“Oh wow. We took this back in March.” - Comment from a high school student attempting to do some last minute make-up work before tomorrow’s deadline. She continued, “I can’t remember what to do. I guess I should’ve come in earlier.” (5/7/18)

Quote of the Day (philosopher)

Student: “I think I want to be a philosopher, but I don’t think I can.”
Me: “Why not?”
Student: “Because I’m too loud.” (5/4/18)

Quote of the Day (studying)

“Wow! You’re actually studying? That’s a surprise.” - Comment from one high school student to a classmate who rarely does anything beyond the bare minimum to get the grade that he wants. (5/3/18)

Quote of the Day (scaling)

“You know how they say that if you’re doing good the questions are supposed to get harder?” - Opening of a high school student’s confession regarding the scaling difficulty of a standardized test she just took. She continued, “None of my questions were getting harder.” (4/30/18)

Quote of the Day (voice)

Senior 1: “When you get your voice back, it’s gonna be as loud as [loud teacher]’s!”
Senior 2: “Yeah, when it comes back you have to record yourself singing Alma Mater [school song] and post it so we can all hear your real voice.” (5/1/18)

Quote of the Day (Latin)

Student 1 [to Student 2]: “I bet you don’t know what ‘post hoc ergo propter hoc’ means.”
Student 2: “Poke hop...what!? Is that like some kind of Harry Potter spell or something?”
Student 1: “No, it’s Latin.”
Student 2: “Where do they speak Latin?”
Me: “Latin America.”
Student 3 [laughing]: “This is my favorite class.” (4/30/18)

Quote of the Day (cube)

Student 1 [to Student 2]: “Wait! So do you know who took it?”
Student 2: “I don’t know! But I do know that someone is going to hell for taking my [charging] cube.” (4/27/18)

Quote of the Day (October)

Me [to Student 1]: “What month is October?”
Student 1: “...Eight!”
Student 2: “Eight!? What?!?!”
Student 1: “You know, because ‘octo’ means eight.”
(4/26/18)

Quote of the Day (pencil sharpener)

“Mister, does this even work?” - Question from a high school student who was trying to use my pencil sharpener that wasn’t plugged in. (4/25/18)

Quote of the Day (suggestion)

“You know what you should do? You should write down all the funny stuff we say and post it somewhere so other teachers can guess who said it.” - Suggestion from a high school student who was surprised that I remembered something funny she had said earlier in the year. (4/24/18)

Quote of the Day (plant)

Me [picking up a plant that Student 1 brought into class]: “What kind of plant is this?”
Student 1: “I think it’s ‘Akila’.”
Me: “Is it native? It might be ‘Ākia”
Student: “Oh! That might be it. It’s so cute; I named him ‘Bonhomie’.”
Me: ???
Student [googling the word for me]: “It’s an SAT [vocabulary] word!” (4/23/18)

Quote of the Day (blood)

Student 1: “I wish I could donate blood.”
Student 2: “Why? Why would you want to get poked like that?”
Student 1: “Because I want to be like Wonder Woman and save the world.”
Student 2: “Hello!? You’re only saving three lives. It’s not like you’re saving a whole country.”
Student 1: “Yeah, but I am saving the whole country just...um...you know, like one pint at a time.” (4/19/18)

Quote of the Day (ugly)

Student 1 [after I caught an easy mistake in her work]: “Man! I’m so stupid.”
Me: “Hey! Don’t say that about yourself.”
Student 2: “Aw, don’t say that. You’re smart.”
Student 3: “Yeah. [Student 1], you’re so smart. You’re always helping me.”
Student 1 [whispering to herself]: “Wow. Maybe I should insult myself more often so people will compliment me.”
Student 1 [aloud]: “Man! I’m so ugly.”
Student 2 & Student 3: “...” (4/19/18)

Quote of the Day (almonds)

“Mister, it’s too light. Do you have anything that I can put inside to make it heavier?” - Question from a high school student as she was writing a note to put into an empty can of almonds that she planned to leave in my classroom for an unsuspecting student. Later, once her prank was complete she remarked, “I feel like I’m in that TV show ‘The Office’.” (4/18/18)

Quote of the Day (transcript)

Student 1: “Does anyone know how much they charge for a copy of our transcript?”
Student 2: “I think it’s like thirty-five cents.”
Student 1: “THIRTY-FIVE CENTS! I can’t believe they’re making us pay thirty-five cents for a piece of paper with just some numbers on it.” (4/17/18)

Quote of the Day (rural)

“Hey! You can’t do that.” - Argument from a high school senior near the end of class while everyone else was doing their work. What I thought was a debate about a math problem turned out to be a squabble about her friend’s pros and cons list she had made for her top three college choices. As a con for one choice she had written “too rural” and as a con for another choice she had written “big city”. (4/16/18)