Quote of the Day (famous)

“That’s what I want to be when I grow up.” - Comment from a student after she told her friend that she wants to be famous. (1/16/19)

Quote of the Day (history)

Student 1: “Please let me just have this.”
Student 2: “No!”
Student 1: “Please! You know what? I’m just going to write this down: ‘January 15th...’”
Student 1: “Noooo!”
Me: “What’s going on?”
Student 2: “Student 1 is trying to say she’s smarter than me.”
Student 1 [who normally struggles in class]: “Just for today only. Please let me be smarter than you just for today.” (1/15/19)

Quote of the Day (drop)

Student: “Mister, did [student name] tell you she was dropping this class?”
Me: “No. She is?”
Student: “Yeah. Friday was her last day, but she made me promise not to tell you until after she was gone.” (1/14/19)

Quote of the Day (allergy)

Student [holding out an open package of cookies]: “Mister, do you want some nutter butters?”
Me: “No, thank you.”
Student: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Yes. I’m allergic to peanuts so I can’t have any.”
Student: “I’m allergic to math homework by the way.” (1/10/19)

Quote of the Day (exercise)

Student 1: “Aw man, it’s raining again. I hope that practice doesn’t get canceled.”
Me: “Practice? What kind of practice?”
Student 1: “Basketball. I need to practice so I can get better and so I can get my exercise.”
Student 2: “What a liar. Mister, every time I call him to go play ball he’s always like, ‘Nah, I’m playing Fortnite.’”
Student 1: “Hey, gotta exercise my thumbs too, you know?” (1/10/19)

Quote of the Day (poster)

Student [walking in with a rolled up poster]: “I have something for you.”
Me [absent mindedly thinking she was asking for permission to keep it in my classroom]: “Just put it there in the corner so no one will touch it. When are you going to pick it up?”
Student: “NO! It’s for your classroom!”
I turned to see a note that read, “For Mr. Hwang because I was bored over the break.” Unrolling the poster further revealed a painting of a hybrid animal that I immediately hung up. (1/9/19)

Quote of the Day (sigh)

“Uh oh, that doesn’t sound good.” - Comment from a high school student after I had just sighed right as I started grading his exam (the last exam that I had to grade for the semester before Winter Break). (12/21/18)

Quote of the Day (corrections)

Student: “Mister, I’m here to make corrections [for credit recovery] on the final.”
Me: “Sure.”
Student [looks over the test]: “Is there a way I can take this home and finish it?”
Me: “No, other students still need to take it.”
Student [hands me back the final]: “OK, then I don’t want to make any corrections.”
I’m not a very smart man, but I think I’m smart enough to read between the lines. (12/20/18)

Quote of the Day (final)

“I shouldn’t have taken this [final] today. Can I come back and finish it tomorrow?” - Complaint from a high school student that I suspected had been cheating on the last two tests. She wouldn’t admit it even though I gave her a chance to make up the work. Today, I gave her a completely different version of the exam, had her sit close to me, then warned everyone (but really I was referring to her) that anyone who even touched their phones would result in a zero. Her friends all did OK but she couldn’t answer a single question. (12/19/18)

Quote of the Day (tv)

Student [upon entering the classroom and seeing the newly installed TV]: “Wow! Mister, could you bring in like an air mattress and some food?”
Me: “I guess, but why would I ever want to do...”
Student: “Because! Then you can lie around and watch movies all day in here over break.” (12/18/18)

Quote of the Day (note)

Student 1 [to Student 2]: “Hey! Look at this note I just got!”
Student 2 reads the note from a teacher excusing Student 1 from doing a major presentation because her grade had been consistently high all year.
Student 1: “This was like the best Christmas present ever!”
Student 3 [turns to me]: “I hope I get that note because I didn’t even start my presentation.” (12/17/18)

Quote of the Day (group work)

Student [who is normally very reserved and always positive]: “Ugh! I don’t want to be here today.”
Me: “Whoa! What’s wrong?”
Student: “I have this group project that’s due next period.”
Me: “Let me guess...nobody else is contributing.”
Student [eyes widened as if in amazement]: “YES! How did you know?” (12/14/18)

Quote of the Day (constant)

Me [describing Euler’s constant]: “So we use ‘e’ because it was named after him.”
Student: “So that’s why we can’t use ‘e’ as a variable or for anything else?”
Me: “Pretty much.”
Student [thinking deeply]: “If I ever find a constant, I’m going to change my name to Xavier.”
Me: “Why would you want to do that? Wouldn’t you want it named after your own name?”
Student [grinning]: “No, because then they would name the constant as ‘x’ and have to rewrite all the textbooks because they can’t use ‘x’ as a variable any more.” (12/13/18)

Quote of the Day (sick)

Me: “Hey! You’re back!”
Student: “Yeah, I was sick yesterday.”
Me [jokingly]: “Sick of school?”
Student: “No, when I woke up I had a sore throat. And when I tried to talk I sounded just like you!” (12/12/18)

Quote of the Day (diabetic)

Student: “If I was diabetic, I would eat much more healthier.”
Me [nodding in agreement]: “Good.”
Student: “So then if I eat healthy enough I can be un-diabetic.”
Me [shaking my head]: “I don’t think that’s how it works.”
Student: “Why not?” (12/11/18)

Quote of the Day (susp...)

Student 1 enters after a long absence.
Student 2: “Hey! You’re back! How was your susp...”
Student 2 makes eye contact with me.
Student 2: “I mean, how was your break?” (12/10/18)

Quote of the Day (Pearl Harbor)

Student: “What’s today’s date?”
Me [pointing to the board]: “It’s over there.”
Student: “Oh yeah, today’s the day that the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor.”
Student turns and glares at me suspiciously before cracking a mischievous smile. (12/7/18)

Quote of the Day (carrot)

“If [student name] was a vegetable, he’d be a carrot.” - Comment overheard from a strange conversation between two high school students at lunch. (12/6/18)

Quote of the Day (yessah)

Student: “You know what your class motto should be?”
Me: “No. What?”
Student: “Yessah blessah. No stressah.”
Me: “...”
Student: “You should write it right on top of your board.”
Me: “You should get back to work. What’s your grade in this class again?”
Student: “It’s, uh, not very good. But I try to live by that motto everyday.”
Me: “Clearly.” (12/4/18)

Quote of the Day (married)

Student 1: “I think the earliest I would ever get married would be like 24 or 25. At the earliest!”
Student 2: “No. Just by saying that, you just jinxed yourself. Now you’re probably going to get married in the second half of your first year of college.”
Student 1: “No way! I don’t fall for men like that.”
Student 1 [whispers to me]: “Besides, my mom said if I ever got married that young she would kill me...and I’m scared of my mom.” (12/3/18)