Student [while taking a test]: “I can’t find my answer among all the choices.”
Me: “So...”
Student: “But I did everything right.”
Me: “And...”
Student: “And I can’t find my answer in the choices so you must be wr...oh wait, there it is.” (2/7/20)
Friday, February 7, 2020
Thursday, February 6, 2020
Quote of the Day (guppies)
“I saw that. I was wondering if you were raising guppies or something.” - Comment from a high school student as he saw me check on the small bucket I had set up to catch water that was leaking from the ceiling. (2/6/20)
Wednesday, February 5, 2020
Quote of the Day (quote)
Student 1: “Hey Mister, you should write what [Student 2] said about [Student 3].”
Me: “Why? What did she say?”
Student 1: “[Student 2] called out [Student 3] and said that she would never come back from all her absences.”
Me: “But why should I write that down?”
Student 1: “Because it’s funny.”
Student 3 [laughing]: “Because my test score was still higher than [Student 2]’s even though she had come to class every day.” (2/5/20)
Me: “Why? What did she say?”
Student 1: “[Student 2] called out [Student 3] and said that she would never come back from all her absences.”
Me: “But why should I write that down?”
Student 1: “Because it’s funny.”
Student 3 [laughing]: “Because my test score was still higher than [Student 2]’s even though she had come to class every day.” (2/5/20)
Tuesday, February 4, 2020
Quote of the Day (joke)
Student 1: “Hey Mister, do you want to hear something funny?”
Student 2: ‘What? Your grade?” (2/4/20)
Student 2: ‘What? Your grade?” (2/4/20)
Monday, February 3, 2020
Quote of the Day (Super Bowl)
Student: “Mister, who were you cheering for?”
Me: “No one.”
Student: “Did you even watch the game?”
Me: “No. Who were you going for?”
Student: “The Chiefs!”
Me: “Is that your team?”
Student: “No. I was only cheering for them because everyone else were fake 49ers fans.” (2/3/20)
Me: “No one.”
Student: “Did you even watch the game?”
Me: “No. Who were you going for?”
Student: “The Chiefs!”
Me: “Is that your team?”
Student: “No. I was only cheering for them because everyone else were fake 49ers fans.” (2/3/20)
Friday, January 31, 2020
Quote of the Day (rating)
Student [after giving two of his classmates a high five]: “Yeah! Mister, you want in on this?”
Me: “No, thank you.”
Student: “Are you sure? These hands are rated E for everyone.” (1/31/20)
Me: “No, thank you.”
Student: “Are you sure? These hands are rated E for everyone.” (1/31/20)
Thursday, January 30, 2020
Quote of the Day (crisis)
Me: “Hey [Student 1], do you want to know what [Student 2] did to me during recess?”
Student 1: “Oh no, what did she do now?”
Me: “When I came over to my desk, [Student 2] was just standing there giving me the stink eye. So I asked if she needed help, but she said she didn’t. She just kept glaring at me.”
Student 1 [to Student 2]: “What!? Why? What were you doing?”
Student 2: “Hey! I was having an existential crisis, okay?” (1/30/20)
Student 1: “Oh no, what did she do now?”
Me: “When I came over to my desk, [Student 2] was just standing there giving me the stink eye. So I asked if she needed help, but she said she didn’t. She just kept glaring at me.”
Student 1 [to Student 2]: “What!? Why? What were you doing?”
Student 2: “Hey! I was having an existential crisis, okay?” (1/30/20)
Tuesday, January 28, 2020
Quote of the Day (straight answer)
Student 1: “Mister, can we use the study guide on the test?”
Me: “I’ve already said it multiple times that there’s only one closed-notes test this entire year.”
Student 1: “So...is that a no?”
Student 2: “No, we already took the closed-notes test.”
Student 1 [to me]: “So can we use it or not? Why can’t you just tell me?”
Me: “I’m saying it like this so you’ll never have to ask me again. There’s only one closed-notes test this entire year, and...”
Student 2: “We already took it.”
Student 1: “Can’t you just give me a straight answer?” (1/28/20)
Me: “I’ve already said it multiple times that there’s only one closed-notes test this entire year.”
Student 1: “So...is that a no?”
Student 2: “No, we already took the closed-notes test.”
Student 1 [to me]: “So can we use it or not? Why can’t you just tell me?”
Me: “I’m saying it like this so you’ll never have to ask me again. There’s only one closed-notes test this entire year, and...”
Student 2: “We already took it.”
Student 1: “Can’t you just give me a straight answer?” (1/28/20)
Friday, January 24, 2020
Quote of the Day (sneeze)
Student 1 sneezes.
Student 2: “Bless you!”
Student 1: “Thanks.”
Student 3: “DID YOU COVER YOUR MOUTH THIS TIME?”
Student 1: “Oh, uh...no.”
Class: “Ewww!” (1/24/20)
Student 2: “Bless you!”
Student 1: “Thanks.”
Student 3: “DID YOU COVER YOUR MOUTH THIS TIME?”
Student 1: “Oh, uh...no.”
Class: “Ewww!” (1/24/20)
Thursday, January 23, 2020
Quote of the Day (field trip)
Student 1: “Aren’t you proud of us?”
Me: “About what?”
Student 1: “Me and Student 2 didn’t go on the field trip because we knew we couldn’t miss your class.” (1/23/20)
Me: “About what?”
Student 1: “Me and Student 2 didn’t go on the field trip because we knew we couldn’t miss your class.” (1/23/20)
Wednesday, January 22, 2020
Quote of the Day (satisfaction)
Student 1: "That unit was hard."
Student 2: "The circles unit in Analytic Geometry."
Student 1: "Yeah, but not as hard as this [AP Calculus].:
Student 2: "True. This stuff that we're doing right now is so hard."
Student 1: "Yeah, but it's so satisfying when you get it. Back then I felt kinda smart when I got the right answer. Now that it's so hard, I feel REALLY smart when I get the right answer." (1/22/20)
Student 2: "The circles unit in Analytic Geometry."
Student 1: "Yeah, but not as hard as this [AP Calculus].:
Student 2: "True. This stuff that we're doing right now is so hard."
Student 1: "Yeah, but it's so satisfying when you get it. Back then I felt kinda smart when I got the right answer. Now that it's so hard, I feel REALLY smart when I get the right answer." (1/22/20)
Tuesday, January 21, 2020
Quote of the Day (flu shot)
Student 1 [rubbing her arm]: “[Student 2], did you get your flu shot?”
Student 2: “No! I don’t like shots.”
Student 1: “I got mine. I didn’t want to get it, but my mom made me get it.”
Student 2: “I hope my mom never forces me to get my flu shot.”
Student 1: “My mom tricked me into getting it at my doctors appointment.”
[Note: this is the same student that told me she was tricked into going to the dentist over Thanksgiving break]. (1/21/20)
Student 2: “No! I don’t like shots.”
Student 1: “I got mine. I didn’t want to get it, but my mom made me get it.”
Student 2: “I hope my mom never forces me to get my flu shot.”
Student 1: “My mom tricked me into getting it at my doctors appointment.”
[Note: this is the same student that told me she was tricked into going to the dentist over Thanksgiving break]. (1/21/20)
Friday, January 17, 2020
Quote of the Day (wrong)
Student 1 [looking at the answers to the homework on the board]: “Hey! I got that! Why was it marked wrong?”
Student 2: “Probably because you did something wrong.”
Student 1: “No! I got the same answer, but Mister still circled it wrong.”
Student 2: “Ha! Mister circles the ones you got right.”
Student 1: “How do you know that? He never told us that.”
Student 2: “He told us that at the beginning of the year. He’s been doing that on every assignment since August.”
Student 1: “Then how come I never knew about that.”
Student 2: “[Student 1], it’s probably because you never did your homework all this time.” (1/17/20)
Student 2: “Probably because you did something wrong.”
Student 1: “No! I got the same answer, but Mister still circled it wrong.”
Student 2: “Ha! Mister circles the ones you got right.”
Student 1: “How do you know that? He never told us that.”
Student 2: “He told us that at the beginning of the year. He’s been doing that on every assignment since August.”
Student 1: “Then how come I never knew about that.”
Student 2: “[Student 1], it’s probably because you never did your homework all this time.” (1/17/20)
Thursday, January 16, 2020
Quote of the Day (adult)
Student 1: “I have to be careful who I call ‘uncle’ or ‘aunty’ now.”
Student 2: “How come?”
Student 1: “Well, at [place of employment], the customers think I’m a college student or an adult.”
Student 2: “What!?”
Student 1: “I know, right? Me? An adult?”
Student 2: “So what happened?”
Student 1: “The other day, I called a customer ‘aunty’ and she got mad because she didn’t think she was that old.” (1/16/20)
Student 2: “How come?”
Student 1: “Well, at [place of employment], the customers think I’m a college student or an adult.”
Student 2: “What!?”
Student 1: “I know, right? Me? An adult?”
Student 2: “So what happened?”
Student 1: “The other day, I called a customer ‘aunty’ and she got mad because she didn’t think she was that old.” (1/16/20)
Wednesday, January 15, 2020
Quote of the Day (grade)
Student 1 [sees what grade she got on her test]: “Mister, I did better than I thought.”
Me: “Yes. I’m glad you did well.”
Student 1: “Did Student 2 finish the test?”
Me: “Yes. She did well too.”
Student 1: “What did she get?”
Me: “I can’t tell you that.”
Student 1: “Did she...do better than me?”
Me: “I can’t tell you that either. Besides, why does it matter who scored higher?”
Student 1: “Well, if you can’t tell already, I’m very competitive. I have to score higher than my friends.” (1/15/20)
Tuesday, January 14, 2020
Quote of the Day (projector)
Me [to Student who was doing something suspicious close to the projector]: “[Student], what are you doing?”
Student [lifts her fidgeting hands up a little higher so I could see that she was rubbing them together]: “My hands are so cold. I’m just warming them up with the projector.”
Me: “Are you going to bring marshmallows next?”
Student: “??? OH! Yes. That’s a good idea.” (1/14/20)
Student [lifts her fidgeting hands up a little higher so I could see that she was rubbing them together]: “My hands are so cold. I’m just warming them up with the projector.”
Me: “Are you going to bring marshmallows next?”
Student: “??? OH! Yes. That’s a good idea.” (1/14/20)
Monday, January 13, 2020
Quote of the Day (helpless)
Student 1: “Mister, what’s today’s date?”
Me: “Did you look on the board before asking?”
Student 2: “Dang. You know you could be nicer about it.” (1/13/20)
Me: “Did you look on the board before asking?”
Student 2: “Dang. You know you could be nicer about it.” (1/13/20)
Friday, January 10, 2020
Quote of the Day (seat)
Student [after class]: “You were right Mister.”
Me: “??”
Student: “Last semester you told me to move away from those guys so they wouldn’t distract me, and today, I got all of my work done before the end of class.” (1/10/20)
Me: “??”
Student: “Last semester you told me to move away from those guys so they wouldn’t distract me, and today, I got all of my work done before the end of class.” (1/10/20)
Thursday, January 9, 2020
Quote of the Day (mints)
Student [downing a handful of mints]: “I bought a whole bunch of tictacs just for this class so I won’t fall asleep.” (1/9/20)
Wednesday, January 8, 2020
Quote of the Day (shirt)
“Hey Mister! Do you like my shirt?” - Question from a high school student after he entered my class during recess. As he moved his arms out of the way, I saw that his shirt read “Virginity Rocks”. (1/8/20)
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