Quote of the Day (amazon)

 Student 1 [watching me find something on Amazon.com]: “Oh my gosh, Mister. You know who loves Amazon?”

Me: “No, who?”

Student 1: “STUDENT 2! She loves Amazon. It’s like her religion.” (3/7/22)

Quote of the Day (braces)

 Student: “Mister, I get my braces off tomorrow.”

Me: “I don’t even know what you look like WITH braces.”

Student: “That’s fair.” (3/7/22)

Quote of the Day (hole)

 Me [to limping Student]: “Student, are you OK?”

Student [slowly turning to me and pointing to her leg]: “Are you asking about this?”

Me: “Yes. Are you OK?”

Student: “It’s a funny story actually.”

Me: “And…”

Student: “I fell in a hole on the field during the fire drill.” (3/3/22)

Me [pointing to the wrap on Student’s ankle]: “I see you have it braced.”

Student: “Yeah. It sucks.”

Me: “So when are you going to sue the school?”

Student: “Well, after I went to the doctor, my mom and I called the school to tell them about the hole in the field. They said they would send someone over to fill it up, but…[shrugs].”

Me: “Do you think they really did?”

Student: “I’m not sure, but I’m going to walk out there in about a month and if it’s not…[makes a thumb motion like a referee tossing out a player]” (3/4/22)

Quote of the Day (Girls’ Day)

Student: “Oh yeah, hey Mister! Today is Girls’ Day. You know what that means, right?”

Me [turning to Student and another female student nearby]: “Huh? Oh, um, happy Girls’ Day.”

Student: “NO! Today’s is Girls’ Day. That means you have to get Hina a new toy!” (3/3/22)

Quote of the Day (squared)

 Student 1 [mocking Student 2 yesterday]: “Ha ha. You forgot to put the squared. I never forget the squared.”

Me [returning student work today]: “Student 1, here’s your work back.”

Student 1 [takes his assignment and flips it over to see the score]: “Huh? What did I get wrong?”

Student 2 [looks over his shoulder to see what was marked wrong and starts laughing]: “You’re dumb.”

Student 1: “What? Where’s my mistake?”

Student 2: “You forgot the squared.” (3/1/22)

Quote of the Day (peanuts)

 Student: “Oh, Mister, I was going to bring you something today, but I didn’t.”

Me: “Um…OK. Thanks, I guess?”

Student: “Oh, sorry. I guess what I meant to say was that I was going to bring you something that my family gave me from New Zealand.”

Me: “Thank you, I think. But you didn’t bring it, so why are you telling me this?”

Student: “Oh. It’s because it’s literally just chocolates and peanuts. It’s a peanut slab so that’s all it’s made up of. But I realized it’s the two things that you can’t eat so I didn’t bring it.”

Me: “Thank you for thinking of me…and for not taking away my voice before I get an allergic reaction.” (2/28/22)

Quote of the Day (fun)

 “Mister, this is actually pretty fun.” - Comment from a high school student as he was finding all of his answers among the multiple choices on his test. (2/24/22)

Quote of the Day (pencils)

 Student [pulling a box of pencils out of his bag]: “Mister, could you use these?”

Me: “Yes. Wait, are you giving them to me? Don’t you need them?”

Student: “My mom gave them to me, but I only use mechanical pencils.”

Me: “In that case, I’d love to have them.”

Student: “Oh and these are not supposed to influence my test score in any way.” (1/31/22)

Quote of the Day (help)

Me [to Student 1, who was just added to my class without warning nearly two months into the semester]: “I’ll try to help you as much as I can, but honestly there’s so much to catch up on that I don’t know how much I can help you with during class since I have to help my other students too.”

Student 2 [who overheard our conversation]: “Mister, I can try and help him when you can’t.” 

I’ll be over here at my desk crying in gratitude. (2/22/22)

Quote of the Day (soap)

 Student 1: "Mister, can soap get dirty?"

Me: "Sure. I guess."

Student 2: "That's like saying hand sanitizer doesn't work after a while."

Student 1: "Yeah, what would happen if you dump a whole bunch of bacteria into a bottle of hand sanitizer?" (2/17/22)

Quote of the Day (favorite student)

 Student 1: “I heard that you made a meme about Student 2.”

Me: “Oh? How did you hear that?

Student 1: “Well Student 2 came into class and announced ‘Mister made a meme about me because I’m his favorite student.’”

Me: “Oh dear. Just for the record, Student 2 is not my favorite student.”

Student 1: “I can tell.” (2/16/22)

Quote of the Day (test)

Student [enters the classroom]: "OH! There's a test today?"

The exam was announced daily from over a week ago.

Me: "When did you think it was going to be?"

Student: "Oh, I thought it was on Friday."

There's no school on Friday. (2/15/22)

Quote of the Day (valentines)

 Student 1 [entering the classroom]: "MISTER! Who's your valentine?"

Me: "No one."

Student 1: "Aw. That's sad."

A few minutes later Student 2 enters the classroom.

Student 1: "Hey Student 2! Who's your valentine?"

Student 2 [pauses, then looks at me]: "Mr. Hwang."

Student 1: "False! Mister just said he doesn't have a valentine." (2/14/22)

Quote of the Day (ziplocs)

Me [to Student, who normally has her phone in a ziploc bag]: “Hey! Your phone’s not in a bag today.”

Student [carefully cradling her phone]: “Yeah. I’m trying it without using a bag.”

Me: “Oh? I might have one if you need one.”

Student [sheepishly]: “No, thank you. I realized just how wasteful I was being by using my phone in a bag all the time.”

Me: “Wow. How many did you use?”

Student [opens her backpack and shows me a ziploc bag with a stack of her used ziploc bags in it]: “I would usually replace it every two days.”

Me: “Oh, would they tear that easily?”

Student: “No. They would just get too wrinkled so they weren’t very clear any more.” (2/11/22)

Quote of the Day (tomorrow)

 Student 1 [approaching me]: “I know you probably said this already, but I just wanted to make sure. Our test is tomorrow?”

Student 2 [from across the room]: “Did you not read the board?” 

Student 3 [pointing to the board]: “He even said it multiple times this week and again today.” (2/10/22)

Quote of the Day (eraser)

 Student [wiping his desk before class starts]: “Mister, you know, I feel sorry for whoever sits here before me.”

Me: “??? Why do you say that?”

Student: “Because, every day I wipe this desk, and every day there’s always so much eraser dust that I have to clean off.” (2/4/22)

Quote of the Day (communist)

Student 1 [starting a difficult question]: “Do they even do math in communist countries?”

Student 2: “WHAT!? Why are you even asking this?”

Student 1: “Because, you know, what if I just move to North Korea so I don’t have to do any math.” (2/8/22)

Quote of the Day (prom)

Student [entering class]: “Mister, can you tell me what the big deal is about prom?”

Me: “???”

Student: “I just hear so many people talking about it, but I don’t get the appeal. Why would I spend all that money just to go to some place that I don’t really want to go to in the first place?” (2/3/22)

Quote of the Day (burns)

 Student [entering the classroom]: “Oh wow. It burns. It burns!”

Me [looking up from my work immediately]: “What’s wrong? Are you OK?”

Student [rubbing her legs]: “No. It’s those stairs. They just make my legs hurt.” (2/2/22)

Quote of the Day (proud)

Me [to Student 2 who is friends with Student 1]: “Did Student 1 tell you what he scored on the test?”

Student 2 [with a beaming smile that was visible even while wearing a mask]: “Yes! I’m so proud of him. He was so happy about it that he messaged me as soon as the [grade] notification came in.”

Me: “I’m glad too.”

Student 2: “He started bragging about it, but I had to remind him that this is because he actually did all the work and studied.” (2/1/22)