Me [to Student glued to his phone on the last day of class before Spring Break]: "Are you not going to finish your work?"
Student: "I'll finish it over the break."
Student [on first day back from Spring Break]: "I don't even remember how to do this?"
Me: "That's because you didn't even start it."
Student [pauses, then remembers our conversation]: "Oh yeah. That's fair." (3/22/22)
Me [after the last class ended on a day filled with rumors of a school shooting threat]: "Whew! What a day."
Student [who overheard my sigh of relief]: "Yeah. It was weird. I feel like many of the students who left campus just left because they didn't want to be in school. It wasn't because they felt like they were in danger." (3/21/22)
“Bye Mister, see you…next year.” - Parting greeting from a student as class ended on the last day of the third quarter. He caught himself a few seconds later and added, “I mean next quarter.” (3/11/22)
Student: “So, um, [Teacher Name] is having a waffle day tomorrow.”
Me: “And?”
Student: “You’re just going to let them beat you like that?”
Me: “Beat me at what?”
Student: “Everyone’s going to think they’re a cooler teacher than you.”
Me [shrugs]: “Why are you telling me this?”
Student: “Because…if you have something cooler, then I get to benefit from both the waffle day AND your class.” (3/9/22)
Student 1 [watching me find something on Amazon.com]: “Oh my gosh, Mister. You know who loves Amazon?”
Me: “No, who?”
Student 1: “STUDENT 2! She loves Amazon. It’s like her religion.” (3/7/22)
Student: “Mister, I get my braces off tomorrow.”
Me: “I don’t even know what you look like WITH braces.”
Student: “That’s fair.” (3/7/22)
Me [to limping Student]: “Student, are you OK?”
Student [slowly turning to me and pointing to her leg]: “Are you asking about this?”
Me: “Yes. Are you OK?”
Student: “It’s a funny story actually.”
Me: “And…”
Student: “I fell in a hole on the field during the fire drill.” (3/3/22)
Me [pointing to the wrap on Student’s ankle]: “I see you have it braced.”
Student: “Yeah. It sucks.”
Me: “So when are you going to sue the school?”
Student: “Well, after I went to the doctor, my mom and I called the school to tell them about the hole in the field. They said they would send someone over to fill it up, but…[shrugs].”
Me: “Do you think they really did?”
Student: “I’m not sure, but I’m going to walk out there in about a month and if it’s not…[makes a thumb motion like a referee tossing out a player]” (3/4/22)
Student: “Oh yeah, hey Mister! Today is Girls’ Day. You know what that means, right?”
Me [turning to Student and another female student nearby]: “Huh? Oh, um, happy Girls’ Day.”
Student: “NO! Today’s is Girls’ Day. That means you have to get Hina a new toy!” (3/3/22)
Student 1 [mocking Student 2 yesterday]: “Ha ha. You forgot to put the squared. I never forget the squared.”
Me [returning student work today]: “Student 1, here’s your work back.”
Student 1 [takes his assignment and flips it over to see the score]: “Huh? What did I get wrong?”
Student 2 [looks over his shoulder to see what was marked wrong and starts laughing]: “You’re dumb.”
Student 1: “What? Where’s my mistake?”
Student 2: “You forgot the squared.” (3/1/22)
Student: “Oh, Mister, I was going to bring you something today, but I didn’t.”
Me: “Um…OK. Thanks, I guess?”
Student: “Oh, sorry. I guess what I meant to say was that I was going to bring you something that my family gave me from New Zealand.”
Me: “Thank you, I think. But you didn’t bring it, so why are you telling me this?”
Student: “Oh. It’s because it’s literally just chocolates and peanuts. It’s a peanut slab so that’s all it’s made up of. But I realized it’s the two things that you can’t eat so I didn’t bring it.”
Me: “Thank you for thinking of me…and for not taking away my voice before I get an allergic reaction.” (2/28/22)
“Mister, this is actually pretty fun.” - Comment from a high school student as he was finding all of his answers among the multiple choices on his test. (2/24/22)
Student [pulling a box of pencils out of his bag]: “Mister, could you use these?”
Me: “Yes. Wait, are you giving them to me? Don’t you need them?”
Student: “My mom gave them to me, but I only use mechanical pencils.”
Me: “In that case, I’d love to have them.”
Student: “Oh and these are not supposed to influence my test score in any way.” (1/31/22)
Me [to Student 1, who was just added to my class without warning nearly two months into the semester]: “I’ll try to help you as much as I can, but honestly there’s so much to catch up on that I don’t know how much I can help you with during class since I have to help my other students too.”
Student 2 [who overheard our conversation]: “Mister, I can try and help him when you can’t.”
I’ll be over here at my desk crying in gratitude. (2/22/22)
Student 1: "Mister, can soap get dirty?"
Me: "Sure. I guess."
Student 2: "That's like saying hand sanitizer doesn't work after a while."
Student 1: "Yeah, what would happen if you dump a whole bunch of bacteria into a bottle of hand sanitizer?" (2/17/22)
Student 1: “I heard that you made a meme about Student 2.”
Me: “Oh? How did you hear that?
Student 1: “Well Student 2 came into class and announced ‘Mister made a meme about me because I’m his favorite student.’”
Me: “Oh dear. Just for the record, Student 2 is not my favorite student.”
Student 1: “I can tell.” (2/16/22)
Student [enters the classroom]: "OH! There's a test today?"
The exam was announced daily from over a week ago.
Me: "When did you think it was going to be?"
Student: "Oh, I thought it was on Friday."
There's no school on Friday. (2/15/22)
Student 1 [entering the classroom]: "MISTER! Who's your valentine?"
Me: "No one."
Student 1: "Aw. That's sad."
A few minutes later Student 2 enters the classroom.
Student 1: "Hey Student 2! Who's your valentine?"
Student 2 [pauses, then looks at me]: "Mr. Hwang."
Student 1: "False! Mister just said he doesn't have a valentine." (2/14/22)
Me [to Student, who normally has her phone in a ziploc bag]: “Hey! Your phone’s not in a bag today.”
Student [carefully cradling her phone]: “Yeah. I’m trying it without using a bag.”
Me: “Oh? I might have one if you need one.”
Student [sheepishly]: “No, thank you. I realized just how wasteful I was being by using my phone in a bag all the time.”
Me: “Wow. How many did you use?”
Student [opens her backpack and shows me a ziploc bag with a stack of her used ziploc bags in it]: “I would usually replace it every two days.”
Me: “Oh, would they tear that easily?”
Student: “No. They would just get too wrinkled so they weren’t very clear any more.” (2/11/22)
Student 1 [approaching me]: “I know you probably said this already, but I just wanted to make sure. Our test is tomorrow?”
Student 2 [from across the room]: “Did you not read the board?”
Student 3 [pointing to the board]: “He even said it multiple times this week and again today.” (2/10/22)
Student [wiping his desk before class starts]: “Mister, you know, I feel sorry for whoever sits here before me.”
Me: “??? Why do you say that?”
Student: “Because, every day I wipe this desk, and every day there’s always so much eraser dust that I have to clean off.” (2/4/22)
