Quote of the Day (gift)

"I brought a gift for you...It's not food, so don't get too excited." - Comment from a high school senior who offered me a nicely wrapped gift as school was ending for Christmas Break. (12/21/16)

Quote of the Day (grade)

"Will that drop my grade?" - Question from a high school student who was barely averaging an A and just scored 75% on the last exam of the semester. (12/20/16)

Quote of the Day (keyboarding)

"I have to say that Mr. ******'s keyboarding class was probably the most useful class I've ever taken." - Random comment from a high school senior as she reminisced about all the classes she'd ever taken at school. (12/16/16)

Quote of the Day (patience)

"You know what I wish for Christmas? Your brain to work as fast as your mouth runs." - Comment from a high school student who was getting frustrated at the speed with which her friend was completing her work. Her friend would constantly get distracted and would start chatting with someone else instead of staying focused. (12/15/16)

Quote of the Day (pee)

"I wish I could pee from my fingers." - Overshare from a high school student before she left class to use the bathroom. (12/14/16)

Quote of the Day (girls)

"Don't mess with girls; they'll kill you." - Exclamation from a high school senior after a short rant about how a (male) classmate sabotaged her presentation by making weird faces to distract her. (12/13/16)

Quote of the Day (Plug)

"I'm going to put this back because it's my responsibility." - Comment from a high school senior (in an advanced math class) right before he did this. (12/12/16)

Quote of the Day (laugh)

"I'm too hungry to laugh." - Confession from a high school senior after something happened that made all her peers laugh during class. (12/9/16)

Quote of the Day (diabetes)

Student: "Mister, do you want some [candy]?"
Me: "Not right now, thank you."
Student tosses almost a full bag of candy in the trash.
Me: "Why didn't you share some with your friends?"
Student: "Too much sugar. It would be like giving them diabetes."
...But it's OK to offer them to me? (12/6/16)

Quote of the Day (homeboy)

Student 1 walks in wearing a Santa hat with some words embroidered on the white base trim.
Student 2: "Does your hat say 'Bah homeboy?'"
Student 1 responds disgustedly: "No, why would it say that?"
Student 2 realizing the absurdity of her question while laughing: "Well, it should!"
(12/5/16)

Quote of the Day (help)

An exchange as one student stood up to leave after class.
Student 1: "Wait! You didn't help me yet."
Student 2: "I did help you. I told you to drop the class."
(12/2/16)

Quote of the Day (play)

Student 1: "Mister, are you coming to our play?"
Me: "Yes. I'm planning on it."
Student 1: "Good! Then you can bring us all flowers."
Student 2: "Shh! Don't tell him that or he won't come. We want as many people to come to the play as possible." (12/1/16)

Quote of the Day (greetings)

Student: "Oh, Mister! somebody who knows you told me to tell you 'hi'."
Me: "Who?"
Student: "I don't know who she was, but she was old."
(11/30/16)

Quote of the Day (kids)

A few months ago, the following student expressed her desire to become a teacher after she graduates from college.
Student: "Mister, are you ever going to have kids?"
Me: "That's an extremely personal question."
Student: "You're right. Sorry."
[moments later]
Student: "Are you not going to answer my question?"
Me: "No. Why do you want to know anyway?"
Student: "Because, I want to know if I'll be able to teach your kids someday."
(11/29/16)

Quote of the Day (dream)

Student: "Mister, I had a dream about you over the break."
Me (obviously intrigued): "Oh? What was it about?"
Student: "It was horrible."
Me (bracing for the worst): "Uh oh. What was wrong?"
Student: "I dreamt that you didn't have a lesson prepared for us like you usually do."
Me (relieved): "That is horrible. That's my nightmare."
Student: "It was so boring. All we did was just sit around and do nothing."
(11/28/16)

Quote of the Day (taco bell)

Student with an infamous affection for Taco Bell begins zoning out during her assignment right before lunch.
Me: "Do you need help? Are you OK?"
Student: "No. I'm just thinking about Taco Bell."
Me: "When are you NOT thinking about Taco Bell?"
Student: "When I'm thinking about McDonald's"
(11/23/16)

Quote of the Day (bag)

Student: "Mister, are you using that bag?"
Me: "Yes. Why?"
Student: "I need a bag to put over my head during [my performance for] today's assembly."
(11/23/16)

Quote of the Day (telling)

Student: "Mister, do you tell your other students about the stupid stuff I do?"
Me: "Me? No. I would nev..."
Student: "Why not!? You should. It would be hilarious." (11/22/16)

Quote of the Day (congratulations)

A student begins suspiciously ogling a small container that someone gave to me earlier in the day. 

Student: "Are those...cookies?"

Me: "Yes. Why?"

Student: "Oh, nothing. I just wanted to congratulate you. That's all." (11/21/16)

Quote of the Day (Korean)

"Mister! You're Korean? What does 'it-g-ma' mean?" - Query from a (non-Asian) high school student who apparently has an entire K-Pop song (잊지마) memorized. (10/26/16)