Quote of the Day

"I forgot it on the bus." -- One student's depressing confession after he had just told my coworker and me in explicit detail about the two egg salad sandwiches his mom made especially for him today.

Quote of the Day (Lunch Edition)

"I kept knocking on the door. The security guard had sympathy and let me in even though it was closed." -- The interesting end to one of my coworker's stories. I had missed the beginning of it while I stood in line to get my lunch. When I asked what they were talking about, someone replied, "Oh, we were just sharing stories of getting diarrhea at the wrong time."

Unfazed Quote of the Day

"We can eat it if we evacuate." -- Grandma's reason for continuing to make mohci for her church activity that was planned for this afternoon despite the tsunami warning.

Misunderstanding of the Day

"♪ DANIEL ♥ " -- A female coworker's excited greeting that I thought was for me. Turns out it was for another teacher named Daniel.

Annoying Request of the Day

"Can you remind Coach about my meeting after school today? He hasn't responded to any of my emails." -- Another coworker's request regarding the teacher I share a classroom with. Uh...I love to help out, but don't you think that trying something other than sending an email would be helpful?

Annoying Question of the Day

"Where's Coach?" -- A coworker's query as to the whereabouts of the person I share rooms with. I teach in the same classroom as him, I'm not his personal secretary. :D

Quote of the Day

"Is that a blueberry?" -- One student's question as she pointed to her classmate's cell phone.

Blasphemy of the Day

"I like Mondays." -- Coworker's exclamation this afternoon. His reasoning was that students are better behaved on Mondays than on Fridays.

Excuse of the Day

"We ran out yesterday, and we didn't feel like mixing more today." -- Excuse heard after I asked if there was any more dressing for today's school lunch.

Quote of the Day

"If you walked in just then, you would've thought I had just told them their mom died." -- A co-worker's description of his students' reaction to hearing the news that there was no Furlough Friday this week.

Revelation of the Day

"So that's why we had to take Creative Writing in college." -- A co-worker's sarcastic comment after he mentioned that he had to really stretch the truth to write a letter of recommendation for a student. *BONUS* Here are some of our suggestions for his letter of rec.: 'shows excellent potential', 'showed steady improvement (grades were at an F and moved up to a C by the end of the semester)', 'does NOT have a sloped forehead', and 'knuckles show no visible scarring from excessive dragging'.

Illogic of the Day

"He's just going to ask you buy your own battery." -- Response to a co-worker's request for a replacement laptop battery...with spare/unused laptops in the computer lab.

Report of the Day

"Today was a good day; there were no incidents." -- Written on a report left by my sub.

(Written) Answer of the Day

"A brief summary." - One smart aleck's answer after the instructions said, "Write a brief summary after reading the article."

Dare of the Day

"I dare you to raise your hand and ask, 'Why are you picking on my best teaching strategies?'" -- A coworker's challenge after the Educational Consultant belittled instructional activities such as having students write down what they thought of the Super Bowl.

Irony of the Day

"Keep it Short" -- Words on the last slide of a 2+ hour long presentation on good teaching strategies.

Interesting Choice of Words of the Day

"Sorry Mister, we just had to step outside for a little kerfuffle." -- A (male) student who noticed my perplexed expression upon his return to class after stepping out with a friend for less than two minutes.

Misheard Quote of the Day

"Mister, did you just say 'ankles'?" -- A geometry student's disturbingly dense question in the middle of a lesson about Opposite Angles in a Parallelogram.

Retort of the Day

"Go drink water!" -- Grandma's comeback to a panhandler who wanted money to buy a cup of coffee.

Question of the Day

"Is the A/C on? It's so hot." -- words mouthed to me by a faculty member during today's meeting. She was wearing a sweater. :(