Quote of the Day (help)

Student 1: “Mister, where’s the pi button on the calculator?”
Me: “You called me over to ask me that? Just look. It’s there.”
Student 1: “I tried. I couldn’t find it.”
Me [walking away]: “You depend on other people too much. Keep looking.”
Student 1 [turning to her neighbor]: “Where’s the pi button?”
Me: “Stop asking people for help!”
Student 1: “I didn’t. I only asked you and Student 2.” (10/15/19)

Quote of the Day (ethnicity)

Student 1: “So Mister, what is your ethnicity, if you don’t mind my asking?”
Me: “Before I answer, where do you think I’m from?”
Student 2: “New Zealand.”
Me: “New Zealand, really?”
Student 2: “I don’t know. If I had to really guess, I’d say...Mililani.”
Me: “You’re not the first person to guess that. May I ask why you think that?”
Student 2: “I don’t know. Probably because that’s where all the rich Asians are from.”
Me [choking down the laughter]: “So you think I’m rich?” (10/4/19)

Quote of the Day (hug)

Me: “Student, do you want to see what you got [on your test]?”
Student: “Um...I don’t know. Do I?”
Me [waving his test in the air]: “Do you want to see it or not?”
Student: “Yes! Yes! [looking at his good test score] Wait! Is this real?”
Me: “Why would I lie to you about it?”
Student: “So I really scored this high?”
Me: “Yes.”
Student: “Really?”
Me: “Do you want me to lower to something more reasonable?”
Student [staring at his test]: “No. Wow...[opening his arms] Hug?” (10/3/19)

Quote of the Day (future)

Student 1: “Whoa! I just got marked absent.”
Me: “What?! I don’t think I made a mistake.”
Student 1 [pointing to his phone]: “No. It says it right here.”
Student 2: “Check the date and period.”
Student 1: “Whoa! It says October 4th!”
Student 2: “What the heck? It’s only the second, how could you be marked absent already?”
Me: “You might be getting pulled out of class for something.”
Student 1: “OR...maybe my phone can tell the future!” (10/2/19)

Quote of the Day (fast)

Student [on the field for a fire drill]: “Hey Mister. See you soon!”
Student [running up the stairs to class]: “Yes! I beat...[sees my door open] What the!? How did you get up here so fast?” (10/1/19)

Quote of the Day (avocados)

Student 1: “Mister, thanks for writing that letter of recommendation for me. I brought you some avocados from our tree.”
Student 2: “Don’t eat them Mister! They’re probably poisoned; I’ll get rid of them for you.” (9/30/19)

Quote of the Day (Christmas Songs)

Student 1: “I already started to listen to Christmas music.”
Student 2: “STUDENT 1! It’s not even Halloween yet.” (9/27/19)

Quote of the Day (fire drill)

Student 1: “There’s a fire drill this week?”

Me: “Yes. During third period.”

Student 2: “Aw! Why does it have to be during third period?”

Me: “Why? What’s wrong with having it during third period?”

Student 2: “That’s my class that has A/C!” (9/23/19)

Quote of the Day (ready)

Student 1 [exiting the class]: “Are you ready?”
Student 2 [entering the class]: “Ready for what?’
Student 1: “Today’s class is *sighs*.”
Student 2: “What!? Really? Is it that bad?”
Student 1: “Well, no. I guess I should’ve...I mean, I guess it wasn’t that bad. If I could do it, then you can do it.” (9/24/19)

Quote of the Day (Christmas)

“This is cool. I’m going to ask for a calculator for Christmas.” - Female high school student after another lesson where the class learned how to efficiently use some of the calculator’s functions. (9/24/19)

Quote of the Day (calculators)

“Mister, I kinda like these calculators. That’s so cool.” - Comment from a high school football player after I showed the class some ways to use the calculator without rounding any of their calculations to get the most exact answer possible. (9/23/19)

Quote of the Day (pronunciation)

Student 1: “Bye Mr. Hwang. Have a good weekend?”
Student 2: “Wait?! How do you pronounce your last name? Because I’ve been saying ‘Wong’ all this time.”
Student 1: “No! I’m right. It’s Hwang.”
Student 2: “Well, did I ask you? No! I’m asking Mr. ‘Wong’. So how do you pronounce your last name?”
Me: “Lau.”
Student 1 starts laughing.
Student 2: “Wait!? Really? No wonder everyone gets you two confused.” (9/13/19)

Quote of the Day (will)

Me [to Student]: “How was your conversation with [teacher’s name]?”
Student: “Oh!? It went surprisingly well.”
Me: “So it wasn’t worth all of yesterday’s anxiety of getting yelled at?”
Student: “Yeah. I was fully expecting her to get mad. I even wrote my will and everything.”
(9/15/19)

Quote of the Day (prank)

Student [entering the class]: "Yo! Mister, are you pranking us?"
Me: "???"
Student: "I saw what I got on my test. Is this some kind of a joke?"
Me: "No. I would never play a joke with your grades."
Student: "Really!? So I did that bad?"
Me: "If that's what the grade said. I don't remember everyone's scores."
Student: "Man! I thought I did so good...I didn't know how to do the first page, but I thought I knew how to do the rest."
The test was only two pages.
(9/17/19)

Quote of the Day (pole)

Student 1 [struggling with her work]: “Ugh! Why did the pole have to get fixed?”
Me: “You mean the utility pole that fell and blocked the road yesterday?”
Student 1: “Yeah, I was hoping it wouldn’t get fixed so we wouldn’t have to go to school.”
Student 2: “I wanted to take a chainsaw and cut a tree to make it fall on the wires then blame it on the rain.” (9/16/19)

Quote of the Day (excited)

“Yesterday, I told my mom that I’ve never been so excited for a test as I am for today’s test.” - Comment from a student as she entered into the classroom brimming with confidence for the exam. She had made the extra effort to come in after school for clarification and practice over the last several days. (9/16/19)

Quote of the Day (sexism)

Female student: “Mr. Hwang, I need help.”
Male student: “Mr. Hwang, I’ve been waiting longer.”
I started walking over to the male student.
Female student [jokingly]: “Wow! Sexism is real in Kahuku.”
Me [to female student]: “How many times have I helped you today?”
Female student: “Twice.”
Me [to male student]: “How many times have I helped you today?”
Male student: “None, this is my first question.”
(9/12/19)

Quote of the Day (proud)

Student 1 [checking his test score]: “Yes! I did it!”
Student 2: “What’d you get?”
Student 1: “What was the class’ average?”
Student 2: “Forty. Why? Tell me. What did you get?”
Student 1 [smiling]: “I’m so proud I got a 45.”
Student 1 [glancing at me]: “I mean, I’m proud to get above average, but I’m not proud that our class’ average was so low.” (9/11/19)

Quote of the Day (zero)

Student 1: rambling about her new boyfriend, getting grounded, and her jade bracelet.
Student 2: “Who are you even talking to? Nobody is listening to you?”
Student 1: “I don’t care. I’m just letting everyone know, OK?”
Student 2 [typing something on his calculator and showing it to Student 1: “Do you want to see how much I care?”
Student 2 [to me]: “Mister, how many zeros can I type on this thing?” (9/10/19)

Quote of the Day (empty)

“Aw man! It’s empty!” - Exclamation from a high school student who wandered near my desk to peek into a box of chips that I had been using for storage. (9/9/19)