Me [to a roomful of procrastinators trying to finish their work on the second to last day of the quarter]: “Just letting you know, I’m leaving at 3:00.”
Student [who I helped till 3:30 last Thursday, Friday, AND this Monday]: “Really? You can’t stay just a little bit longer so I can finish this?” (10/7/21)
Student 1 [to Student 2]: “No. I’m telling you. They’re not.”
Student 2 [to Student 1]: “What do you mean? They’re such a great way to communicate how you feel. Try wait.”
Student 2 [turning to me]: “Mister, what do you think? Are emojis cool? Do you use emojis?”
Me: “No. Emojis are for old people. 😉”
Student 1: “See! I told you.” (10/1/21)
Student [at the start of class]: “Mister, I need help. I mean, I get it, but I’m just really struggling with the calculator stuff.”
Student [right after the bell rang for class to end]: “YES! I’m finished. I love math.” (10/5/21)
Student 1 [showing his answer and Student 2’s answer to me]: “Mister, which one is right?”
Me [pointing to Student 1’s work]: “This one.”
Student 1 [to Student 2]: “See! I told you I was right. You should never have doubted me.”
Student 2: “What!? What about the last question? Didn’t you get that one wrong?”
Student 1: “Yeah, but I’m always right.”
Me: “Always?”
Student 1: “Well, maybe not always.”
Student 2: “Right. Didn’t you get that last one wrong?”
Student 1: “OK, how about this. I’m right more often than Student 2. That’s my final offer.” (10/4/21)
Student 1 [bounding into class while laughing]: “Mister! My sister told me that one of your students asked if I was your daughter.”
Me: “Oh…”
Me [making eye contact with Student 2 in the corner who had mistakenly asked me that yesterday]: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” (10/1/21)
Student [after observing an Asian student ask a couple questions and leave]: “Mister, was that your daughter?”
Me: “…”
Student: “No! Wait! Forget I just asked that.” (9/30/21)
Puzzling subject line of an email I received during the last class of the day: “YESSSSS”
Student [who had sent the email and gone out of her way to come to my class after school ended]: “Mister! Did you see what I got on my test?” (9/29/21)
Student 1: "Mister, if I shave my head can I dress up as you for Halloween?"
Student 2: "Do it!"
Student 2 [turning to me]: "Would you be offended?"
Me: "No."
Student 2: "What are you going to be for Halloween?"
Student 1: "No. Wait! Don't say it. I want to be surprised."
Student 2 [to me]: "Do you even know what you're going to dress up as for Halloween?"
Me [lying]: "Yes. It's going to be great."
Student 2 [excitedly]: "Oh? I can't wait to see what it is."
Me: "Well, what day is Halloween?"
Student 2 [looking it up]: "It says it's a Sunday."
Me: "I guess you won't be around to see it then." (9/27/21)
Student 1’s friend walks by our class before heading downstairs: “Hi Student 1!”
Student 1: “Man, this is so embarrassing. This happens almost every day.”
Student 1’s friend walks by after coming upstairs: “Hi Student 1”
Student 1: “Why did she even walk back up here? Her class isn’t even over here.” (9/27/21)
“No. You don’t understand. It’s like watching your mom cry. You’re telling me you wouldn’t feel sad too?” - Comment from a male student after his friends gave him a hard time for tearing up a bit after watching his teacher cry in front of the class. (9/24/21)
Student 1 [pointing to the silly quotes from students written on my board]: “Mister, do you make these up?”
Me: “No. It’s stuff my students say.”
Student 2: “Well, I want you to know that I love coming into class and reading those quotes.” (9/23/21)
“Oh, so that’s why people take their time on their tests.” - Comment from a high school student as she was looking back at all the easy errors she made on the exam that she had finished faster than everyone else. (9/22/21)
Me [after seeing Korean writing on the back of a student’s phone]: “Why do you have that on your phone?”
Student [surprised that I noticed]: “You know what that is?”
Me: “It’s Korean.”
Student [ever more surprised]: “Can you read that?”
Me: “Jeon Jungkook (Korean boy band member)”
Student: “Mister, you are now my all-time favorite teacher.” (9/21/21)
“Mister, if we don’t finish, can we get more time?” - Student’s question in the middle of a test. This is the same student who walked in, was surprised there was a test (that had been announced for over a week), then loudly proclaimed with relief that it would be “so easy” since he remembered that the test was open notes. (9/20/21)
Me: “So what exactly were you working on instead of doing your test.”
Student 1: “I was working on my test…my test that’s coming up in my next period.”
Student 2 [who had been eavesdropping]: “Wait! Are you in my next period? Do I have a test that I didn’t know about?” (9/17/21)
"Oh, so that's what you look like without a mask." - Comment from a high school student who saw me with a lowered mask from across the room. Almost all students exited the room after the last class of the day ended, and I had just retreated to my desk to drink some water. (9/15/21)
Me [looking at Student 1's papers]: "And please stop writing my name as O.G. Hwang."
Student 2: "O.G.?"
Student 1: "Yeah, because Mister is the true O.G. Besides it just rolls off the tongue. O.G. Hwang." (9/15/21)
“What’s a hundred square rooted? Five?” - Question asked aloud from the same student who asked what two times two was last week. (9/14/21)
Student 1 [to Student 2]: "So...I saw Mister this morning over by A-Building."
Me: "Oh no. I know where this is going."
Student 1: "I waved at him, but he looked so confused."
Student 2: "Wait. Why? What was going on?"
Student 1: "So I put my mask on then he recognized who I was and waved back." (9/13/21)
Student 1 [pointing to my mic]: "A lot of my teachers have these now."
Student 2: "Like who? Mine don't. Well, besides Mister and [Teacher 1]"
Student 1 [counting on his fingers]: "Right, Mister, [Teacher 1], [Teacher 2], and [Teacher 3] just got one..."
Student 2: "Oh, don't forget [Teacher 4]."
Student 1: "Oh yeah, that's right. I hate when they speak with those things."
Me: "Why? It's supposed to help you hear what they're teaching."
Student 1: "Yeah, but sometimes it's so loud and their voice just comes from everywhere. It's like hearing the voice of God." (9/10/21)
