Student 1 [mocking Student 2 yesterday]: “Ha ha. You forgot to put the squared. I never forget the squared.”
Me [returning student work today]: “Student 1, here’s your work back.”
Student 1 [takes his assignment and flips it over to see the score]: “Huh? What did I get wrong?”
Student 2 [looks over his shoulder to see what was marked wrong and starts laughing]: “You’re dumb.”
Student 1: “What? Where’s my mistake?”
Student 2: “You forgot the squared.” (3/1/22)
Student: “Oh, Mister, I was going to bring you something today, but I didn’t.”
Me: “Um…OK. Thanks, I guess?”
Student: “Oh, sorry. I guess what I meant to say was that I was going to bring you something that my family gave me from New Zealand.”
Me: “Thank you, I think. But you didn’t bring it, so why are you telling me this?”
Student: “Oh. It’s because it’s literally just chocolates and peanuts. It’s a peanut slab so that’s all it’s made up of. But I realized it’s the two things that you can’t eat so I didn’t bring it.”
Me: “Thank you for thinking of me…and for not taking away my voice before I get an allergic reaction.” (2/28/22)
“Mister, this is actually pretty fun.” - Comment from a high school student as he was finding all of his answers among the multiple choices on his test. (2/24/22)
Student [pulling a box of pencils out of his bag]: “Mister, could you use these?”
Me: “Yes. Wait, are you giving them to me? Don’t you need them?”
Student: “My mom gave them to me, but I only use mechanical pencils.”
Me: “In that case, I’d love to have them.”
Student: “Oh and these are not supposed to influence my test score in any way.” (1/31/22)
Me [to Student 1, who was just added to my class without warning nearly two months into the semester]: “I’ll try to help you as much as I can, but honestly there’s so much to catch up on that I don’t know how much I can help you with during class since I have to help my other students too.”
Student 2 [who overheard our conversation]: “Mister, I can try and help him when you can’t.”
I’ll be over here at my desk crying in gratitude. (2/22/22)
Student 1: "Mister, can soap get dirty?"
Me: "Sure. I guess."
Student 2: "That's like saying hand sanitizer doesn't work after a while."
Student 1: "Yeah, what would happen if you dump a whole bunch of bacteria into a bottle of hand sanitizer?" (2/17/22)
Student 1: “I heard that you made a meme about Student 2.”
Me: “Oh? How did you hear that?
Student 1: “Well Student 2 came into class and announced ‘Mister made a meme about me because I’m his favorite student.’”
Me: “Oh dear. Just for the record, Student 2 is not my favorite student.”
Student 1: “I can tell.” (2/16/22)
Student [enters the classroom]: "OH! There's a test today?"
The exam was announced daily from over a week ago.
Me: "When did you think it was going to be?"
Student: "Oh, I thought it was on Friday."
There's no school on Friday. (2/15/22)
Student 1 [entering the classroom]: "MISTER! Who's your valentine?"
Me: "No one."
Student 1: "Aw. That's sad."
A few minutes later Student 2 enters the classroom.
Student 1: "Hey Student 2! Who's your valentine?"
Student 2 [pauses, then looks at me]: "Mr. Hwang."
Student 1: "False! Mister just said he doesn't have a valentine." (2/14/22)
Me [to Student, who normally has her phone in a ziploc bag]: “Hey! Your phone’s not in a bag today.”
Student [carefully cradling her phone]: “Yeah. I’m trying it without using a bag.”
Me: “Oh? I might have one if you need one.”
Student [sheepishly]: “No, thank you. I realized just how wasteful I was being by using my phone in a bag all the time.”
Me: “Wow. How many did you use?”
Student [opens her backpack and shows me a ziploc bag with a stack of her used ziploc bags in it]: “I would usually replace it every two days.”
Me: “Oh, would they tear that easily?”
Student: “No. They would just get too wrinkled so they weren’t very clear any more.” (2/11/22)
Student 1 [approaching me]: “I know you probably said this already, but I just wanted to make sure. Our test is tomorrow?”
Student 2 [from across the room]: “Did you not read the board?”
Student 3 [pointing to the board]: “He even said it multiple times this week and again today.” (2/10/22)
Student [wiping his desk before class starts]: “Mister, you know, I feel sorry for whoever sits here before me.”
Me: “??? Why do you say that?”
Student: “Because, every day I wipe this desk, and every day there’s always so much eraser dust that I have to clean off.” (2/4/22)
Student 1 [starting a difficult question]: “Do they even do math in communist countries?”
Student 2: “WHAT!? Why are you even asking this?”
Student 1: “Because, you know, what if I just move to North Korea so I don’t have to do any math.” (2/8/22)
Student [entering class]: “Mister, can you tell me what the big deal is about prom?”
Me: “???”
Student: “I just hear so many people talking about it, but I don’t get the appeal. Why would I spend all that money just to go to some place that I don’t really want to go to in the first place?” (2/3/22)
Student [entering the classroom]: “Oh wow. It burns. It burns!”
Me [looking up from my work immediately]: “What’s wrong? Are you OK?”
Student [rubbing her legs]: “No. It’s those stairs. They just make my legs hurt.” (2/2/22)
Me [to Student 2 who is friends with Student 1]: “Did Student 1 tell you what he scored on the test?”
Student 2 [with a beaming smile that was visible even while wearing a mask]: “Yes! I’m so proud of him. He was so happy about it that he messaged me as soon as the [grade] notification came in.”
Me: “I’m glad too.”
Student 2: “He started bragging about it, but I had to remind him that this is because he actually did all the work and studied.” (2/1/22)
A few weeks ago, Student lifted her backpack and rested it on my desk. The desk promptly tipped over from the weight and clattered to the floor. As I helped the Student pick up her things, I commented on how heavy the backpack looked.
Student [entering class this morning]: “Mister, do you remember my heavy backpack?”
Me: “Yes.”
Student: “It finally broke yesterday.”
Me [admiring the new backpack]: “This one doesn’t look much lighter. What happened to the old one?”
Student: “Oh, ha ha. When I tried to zip up the old one, the zipper just broke, and it couldn’t close.” (1/31/22)
Student 1: “If I was rich…I would go shopping. I mean, I already go shopping a lot.”
Student 2: “If I was rich…I would…”
Me: “So now you would go shopping even more?”
Student 1: “Yeah. Maybe every day.”
Me [to Student 2]: “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cut you off. What were you going to say?”
Student 2: “I was going to say that if I were rich….um, I don’t know. OH! I know, I would get Mister Hwang some paper towels.” (1/27/22)
Me [to Student 1]: “Will you be able to finish your homework [due at the end of class]?”
Student 1: “Um…I think I need help. I’ll just come in for help tomorrow.”
Me: “The test is tomorrow.”
Student 1: “The test is tomorrow?”
Students 2, 3, 4 who heard this conversation either laugh, roll their eyes, or both.
Student 5 [to Student 1]: “He’s been saying it for over a week.”
Student 1: “Oh, I guess I didn’t hear him.”
Student 5 [pointing at the board]: “It’s been written up there for just as long.” (1/27/22)
Student: “I was thinking about going into teaching.”
Me: “Nooooo. Don’t do it.” (1/26/22)
