Quote of the Day (heart attack)

 Student 1 [entering the class]: "Oh Mister! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

Me: "Huh? Why?"

Student 1 [pointing to the board where I had written how many school days were left to turn in any late work]: "At first I thought that's how many days were left in school."

Student 2: "Oh, when do we finish school?"

Me [pulling up a calendar and changing the month from April to May]: "The 26th I believe."

Student 2: "The 26th!? But today is the 25th already."

Me: "The 26th of May. Next month, not this month." (4/25/22)

Quote of the Day (loud)

Student: “Mister, did you hear a lot of loud laughter maybe…um…around two weeks ago?”

Me: “Huh? During what time of day?”

Student: “Oh, uh. During __ Period.”

Me: “Actually, yes! It’s during my smallest and quietest class, and someone mentioned how loud another class in the building was and how they wanted to know what was so funny.”

Student [beaming]: “That was me! I was presenting my poem about my phone and everyone was laughing.” (4/22/22)

Quote of the Day (riddle)

 Student 1 [upset with the solution to Student 2’s riddle]: “That’s so dumb. It’s not even math.”

Student 2: “Yes it is math. You just need some brain power to find the trick.”

Student 1: “That takes dumb power not brain power.” (4/21/22)

Quote of the Day (omit)

Student 1 [pointing to a word on his computer]: “Mister, what does this mean?”

Me: “Omit?”

Student 1: “Yeah.

Me: “It means to leave out.”

Student 1: “Oh. That makes sense. Thank you.”

Student 2 [who had been eavesdropping on our conversation]: “Mister, what does that have to do with planets?”

Me: “Huh?”

Student 2 [making a circular motion with her finger]: “Doesn’t it [omit] have something to do with planets?”

Student 1: “Oh my gosh! That’s ORBIT!” (4/19/22)

Quote of the Day (haircut)

Me [to Student entering the class]: “You got a haircut?”

Student [rubbing his hand over his short hair]: “Yeah. Oh! Now we’re brothers.” (4/19/22)

Quote of the Day (Easter egg hunt)

Student 1 [entering class]: “Mister, I heard that we’re having an Easter egg hunt today.”

Me: “Oh? Who did you hear that from?”

Student 1: “From Student 2 [Student 1’s friend that’s in an earlier class]. She said it was fun.”

Me: “That’s strange. She sat there and didn’t even look for any eggs.”

Student 1: “Oh, that’s because she didn’t know what was going on.”

Me: “What? It even said ‘There are two Easter eggs hidden in the classroom’ on the board.”

Student 1: “Yeah. She told me she thought you meant metaphorical eggs.” (4/14/22)

Quote of the Day (parentheses)

 Student 1 [entering the classroom and seeing an asterisk next to her name]: "Hey! Why does my name have an asterisk?"

Me [handing Student 1 a packet]: "Oh, it's so I remember to give you this."

Student 2 [a friend to Student 1]: "How come Student 1's name has parentheses but mine doesn't?"

Student 1: "PARENTHESES!?"

Student 2: "Yeah, how come your name has it but mine doesn't?"

Student 1: "Parentheses?"

Student 2: "Yeah, that little symbol next to your name."

Student 1: "Oh my gosh Student 2, that's called an asterisk." (4/13/22)

Quote of the Day (catching up)

 Student: "Mister, when are the retakes due?"

Me: "Tomorrow."

Student [grimacing]: "What if I'm not done?"

Me [shrugging]: "Don't take this the wrong way, but do you remember that we had a short conversation on the last day before Spring Break?"

Student [sheepishly]: "Yyyyeeeeaaaaahhhhh."

Me: "So you remember that you said you were too tired to do the work and that you would do it after the break?"

Student: "Yyyyeeeaaaaahhhhh."

Me: "And is that decision to not do anything coming back to haunt you right now?" 

Student: "Yeah. I'll get it done by tomorrow." (4/12/22)

Quote of the Day (mask)

 Me [to Student 1 who was entering the class without a mask for the second day in a row]: "Where's your mask?"

Student 1 [feigning surprise]: "Oh! I don't have one. This is my only class that makes me still wear a mask."

Student 2: "Bro. Just use the one I wore during practice the other day."

Student 1 [pulling on a mask after digging through Student 2's bag]: "Thanks."

Me: "I hope it's clean."

Student 2 [avoiding eye contact]: "It's clean...I think." (4/11/22)

Quote of the Day (group work)

 Student 1: "I get why teachers do that [grouping a strong student with a weaker one], but I don't like it."

Me [trying to keep positive]: "You could just view it as a compliment. Like the teacher has confidence in you."

Student 1: "Yeah, I guess. You know Student 2?"

Me [trying not to roll my eyes]: "Yes."

Student 1: "[Teacher name] paired me with him for almost the entire year even when I told them that Student 2 wasn't doing any work."

Me: "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Student 1: "It's why I ended up hating [teacher name] and Student 2 for almost the whole year." (4/8/22)  

Quote of the Day (senioritis)

 “Mister, I think I have senioritis.” - Comment from an unmotivated junior during class today. (4/7/22)

Quote of the Day (basic skills)

"Mister, I can't whistle. I can't blow bubbles when I chew bubble gum. I don't have any basic skills." - Random comment from a high school student during lunch. (3/24/22)

Quote of the Day (new year)

Me: complaining about something that Student 1 is still doing and hasn't corrected all year.

Student 2: "Don't get mad Mister. People can change. It's a new year. It's only [checks phone]...Whoa! It's almost the end of March!?" (3/29/22)

Quote of the Day (mask)

Student 1 [holding a broken mask]: "Mister, do you have an extra mask that I could use?"

Student 2 [also with a broken mask]: "Oh yeah, me too please."

Student 2 [smirking after he watched me hand a mask to Student 1 then to him]: "Thanks. You only give out masks to your A students, huh?"

Me [holding out my hand]: "Here, give it back then." (3/28/22)

Quote of the Day (like)

 Me [jokingly to Student who had been absent for a long time]: "Oh! You're still here. I thought you had dropped out of this class."

Student: "What!? I like this class. In fact, this is my favorite math class I've ever had."

Me: "You're just saying that because all your friends are in this class."

Student: "NO! I mean, they're part of the reason. Mister, I like this class so much that I even did all the work I missed while I was on the plane ride home." (3/24/22)

Quote of the Day (field trip)

 Student 1 [to Student 2]: “Did you get your (field trip) permission form signed?”

Student 2: “No. I don’t want to go.”

Student 1 and Student 3: “What!? You don’t want to go?”

Student 2: “No. I don’t want to roller skate, so I’d just be sitting there doing nothing.”

Student 1: “Yeah, but you get to miss school.”

Student 2: “If I wanted to miss school and sit around doing nothing, I would just stay home. AND it’s cheaper.” (3/23/22)

Quote of the Day (remember)

Me [to Student glued to his phone on the last day of class before Spring Break]: "Are you not going to finish your work?"

Student: "I'll finish it over the break."

Student [on first day back from Spring Break]: "I don't even remember how to do this?"

Me: "That's because you didn't even start it."

Student [pauses, then remembers our conversation]: "Oh yeah. That's fair." (3/22/22)

Quote of the Day (threat)

 Me [after the last class ended on a day filled with rumors of a school shooting threat]: "Whew! What a day."

Student [who overheard my sigh of relief]: "Yeah. It was weird. I feel like many of the students who left campus just left because they didn't want to be in school. It wasn't because they felt like they were in danger." (3/21/22)

Quote of the Day (next year)

 “Bye Mister, see you…next year.” - Parting greeting from a student as class ended on the last day of the third quarter. He caught himself a few seconds later and added, “I mean next quarter.” (3/11/22)

Quote of the Day (waffles)

 Student: “So, um, [Teacher Name] is having a waffle day tomorrow.”

Me: “And?”

Student: “You’re just going to let them beat you like that?”

Me: “Beat me at what?”

Student: “Everyone’s going to think they’re a cooler teacher than you.”

Me [shrugs]: “Why are you telling me this?”

Student: “Because…if you have something cooler, then I get to benefit from both the waffle day AND your class.” (3/9/22)