Quote of the Day (strat)

 Student: "What if I don't need to take notes?"

Me: "Instead of sitting around waiting for everyone else to finish, all I'm asking is to write down a few things so you don't forget what you just did."

Student: "But what if I already know what I just did."

Me: "You're just writing it down so you don't forget it in the future."

Student: "But I understand it now, so..."

Me: "Try writing a few sentences as if you were trying to show a friend who's never seen this how to do it."

Student: "When I help my friends with their work and they don't know how to do things I just say, 'You just gotta know the strat[egy]!'" 

Me: "I guess I know what to say to you if you ask for my help on this later." (1/11/23)

Quote of the Day (bathrooms)

 Student: "Mister, I have an important question."

Me: "Sure, what's up?"

Student: "Why don't they have any bathrooms on the 3rd floor?"

Me: "I'm not sure. Maybe they do, but they're not open."

Student: "Why aren't they open? Doesn't it make sense to have a bathroom on the 3rd floor so we don't have to go all the way downstairs then come all the way back upstairs?"

Me: "That does make sense."

Student: "This school makes no sense." (1/9/23)

Quote of the Day (North Korea)

 Student [joking that his parents are Korean]: "The northern kind."

Me: "How did they escape?"

Student: "They didn't. They're spies."

Me: "That would make them really terrible spies."

Student: "Every morning they wake us up and make us salute the Uns."

Me: "??? The who?"

Student: "The Uns."

Me: "Who are the Uns?"

Student: "You know, like Kim Jong-UN."

Me: "Do you really think his last name is Un?"

Student: "It's not Un?" (1/6/23)

Quote of the Day (euphoria)

Student [who has struggled this semester, but worked extra hard on the most difficult unit]: "What did I get?"

Me [handing the exam over]: "Just look."

Student: "Eeeeeeeeee!"

Other students: "What did you get?"

Student: "I got a 95!"

Other students: "What!?" "I'm so happy for you."

Student [beaming]: "I don't know what to do."

Me: "???"

Student: "I had this whole thing mapped out in my head that I would have to come back this afternoon to try and make up this test. Then maybe I'd have to come back tomorrow to finish. I even told my family this morning that I was going to fail this test."

Me: "But you didn't! I'm proud of you."

Student [sighing]: "It's like I can breathe again. The birds are chirping. The sky is so blue and bright. It's so wonderful." (12/15/22)

Quote of the Day (proof)

 Student: "Did you grade my test already?"

Me: "Yes. I just finished."

Student: "Can I see what I got?"

Me: "Sure."

Student [loudly]: "YES!"

Other students: "What'd you get?"

Student [loudly]: "I GOT 100%!"

Other students: "Yay! I knew you would do well." "I hate you."

Me: "What are you doing?"

Student [trying to put her test in her folder]: "I can't take this home?"

Me: "No."

Student: "But I wanted to show my mom."

Me: "You can show her your score online."

Student: "Yeah, but she won't believe me."

Me: "She doesn't have to believe you. She can believe the grade that I put online."

Student: "But she won't believe how hard it was." 

Me: "Just give me back the test before I change the score." (12/14/22)

Quote of the Day (right & wrong)

 Students 1 & 2 ask for help to solve a problem.

Me: "I can follow Student 1's work, and it's right up to here."

Student 2: "See!? That's the part I helped you with. What about the next step? I helped Student 1 with that too."

Me: "Um... no. That step is wrong. You can't reduce a fraction like that because the things in the numerator need to be added first."

Student 1 starts laughing at Student 2.

Me: "Don't laugh at Student 2."

Student 2: "Yeah! I was right."

Me & Student 1: "No you weren't."

Student 2: "I mean, I was right but in the wrong way." (12/12/22)

Quote of the Day (Asian chicken)

 Student 1 [looking at the lunch menu]: "Guys, what's the difference between 'Asian chicken' and regular chicken?"

Student 2 [shrugging]: "Diversity." (12/6/22)

Quote of the Day (instruments)

 Student 1: “I don’t rank instruments, but the french horn is clearly superior to other instruments.”

Student 2: “No. It’s the flute!”

Student 3: “What!? The flute?”

Student 2: “Yes! In terms of portability it’s the best.”

Student 3: “Yeah, but you can barely hear it.”

Student 2: “Yes! That’s also a pro.”

Student 3: “Why? You’re supposed to hear it in a band.”

Student 2: “Now if you mess up, the flute is so quiet that no one can tell if you made a mistake.” (11/29/22)

Quote of the Day (dog)

 Student 1 [seeing a picture of my dog on my computer desktop]: "Hey Mister, is that your dog?"

Me: "What? Over here? Yes."

Student 2: "Ooh! You should bring it to school!"

Student 1: "Yeah Mister, you totally should!" (11/23/22)

Quote of the Day (Texan)

 Student 1: "Mister, Student 2 was talking about you."

Me: "Oh? What did he say?"

Student 1 [reading something that he wrote down]: "He said, 'I think Mister looks like a stereotypical Texan.'"

Me: "What? Why?"

Student 2: "No, no, no. I said, 'Imagine if Mister was a stereotypical Texan.'"

Me: "That's not that much better."

Student 1 [tapping his notebook where he wrote the quote]: "Nope. You THINK you said that, but that's not what I heard and wrote down." (11/22/22)

Quote of the Day (Christmas music)

 Student 1: "I think it should be illegal to listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving."

Student 2: "I just want you to know that I listened to Christmas songs the whole way here."

Student 3 [to Student 1]: "You're such a scrooge."

Student 1: "No, I'm not a scrooge. I love Christmas music. In fact, I listen to it all the time...AFTER Thanksgiving." (11/21/22)

Quote of the Day (gray)

 "I think this is going to make me...what was it called? Oh, 'prematurely gray'." - Comment from a high school junior after she finished reviewing for an upcoming exam. (11/17/22)

Quote of the Day (review)

 Student [doing a review before our upcoming test]: "Mister, how do you do number 2?"

Me: "Check your notes."

Student [whining]: "I did, but I can't read them."

Me: "Try and figure it out since I can't read them for you when you take your test."

Student: "But it'd be so much easier if you just told me."

Me: "I did tell you."

Student: "What?"

Me: "Who helped you take those notes in the first place?" (11/16/22)

Quote of the Day (under)

 Student 1 [hearing the announcement of the start of our lockdown drill]: "Oh, is it starting?"

Student 2: "Yeah. Mister, do you want me to close the door?"

Student 3: "Can we hide under our desks?"

Me: "Yes, please."

Student 3: "Yay! Mister said we can hide under our desks."

Me: "No, I didn't."

Me [watching four fairly tall seniors rushing to try and fit under their desks]: "Never mind." (11/15/22)

Quote of the Day (brain)

 Me [helping Student]: "And what are we supposed to do next?"

Student: "Huh? Oh, I'm sorry Mister."

Me: "Don't be sorry. I know it's hard after a long weekend, but you have to be able to look back and remember the things we've done."

Student: "Sorry. I think it's just...my brain is not braining." (11/14/22)

Quote of the Day (taco bell)

 Student 1 [sheepishly]: "Mister, don't get mad. Were you at Taco Bell last night?"

Me: "No. It was probably some other Asian guy." 

Student 1: "Are you sure?"

Student 2: "Why would Mister NOT be sure if he was at Taco Bell last night?" 

Side note: the conversation went on for a bit longer. Student 1 later described the guy he thought was me as short and with a weird hairdo.

(11/10/22)

Quote of the Day (basketball)

 Student 1 [to Student 2]: "What time are [basketball] tryouts again?"

Student 2: "I think it's like 5:00 to 7:00."

Me: "I thought it was 5:30 to 7:30."

Student 1: "Wait, how do you know what time tryouts are?"

Student 2: "I think that's right."

Me: "Because, I read the bulleti..."

Student 1 [gasping]: "Maybe Mister is the assistant coach!"

Student 2 [laughing]: "Nah, nah. He'd be the statistics guy."

Me: "You don't need a statistician to tell you that when you shoot 0-4 that you're shooting zero percent." (11/7/22)

Quote of the Day (calculator)

 Student [at the end of class]: "Mister, does anyone else use this calculator?"

Me: "Look at the list for 5th period. Wait, why are you asking?

Student [with a mischievous smile]: "Because."

When I turned on the calculator, I saw this:

(11/3/22)

Quote of the Day (Halloween Candy)

 After watching a video of a sports anchor doing a silly power ranking of Halloween candies, the crew in my class during lunch started making their own list.

Student 1: "Sour Patch Kids has to go on the best candy list."

Student 2: "Ooh, what about skittles?"

Student 1: "Yes, but the tropical ones, not the normal ones."

Student 3: "Put normal skittles on the worst candy list."

The list begins growing quickly with suggestions coming in as fast as I could type.

"Twix", "Gummy bears", "pop rocks", "100 Grand"

Student 3: "Taco Bell condiment packet."

Student 1 and Student 2: "WHAT!?"

Student 3: "Yeah, someone on my street was handing them out on Halloween." (11/2/22)

Quote of the Day (food truck)

Student 1 [to Student 2]: "Hey Student 2, do you have a food truck?"

Me: "Wait, Student 2, you have a food truck and I didn't know about it?"

Student 2 [confused]: "Huh? No. I don't have a food truck. Why?"

Student 1: "Someone was talking about you and mentioned your food truck. Do you work at a food truck?"

Student 2: "No. I don't have anything to do with a food truck. Where did this come from?" (11/1/22)