Student 1: "Did you know that North and South Dakota were separated for more senate votes?"
Student 2: "What? Why?"
Student 1: "To have a greater influence on the Senate."
Student 2: "No. Why are they separate states? They should just make one fat Dakota." (1/27/23)
Student [enters my room with an obligation slip and whispers]: "Mister, is there any way I could borrow $20?"
Me: "No. That wouldn't be very ethical. It sets a very bad precedent."
Student [dejectedly]: "OK."
Student [a few minutes after asking other students in the room for money]: "What if I paid you back with interest? Would you lend me $20 then?" (1/30/23)
Student 1 [contentedly munching away]: "I like trail mix."
Student 2: "Can I have some?"
Student 1 [handing over the bag]: "Sure."
Student 2 [dumping the contents into his hand]: "Hey! Where are the m&ms?"
Student 1: "I ate them."
Student 2 [looking at the assortment of nuts and raisins]: "Did you eat anything else?"
Student 1 [shrugs]: "No."
Student 2: "So why did you say that you like trail mix?" (1/25/23)
Student 1 [to Student 2]: "Dude, every time you say 'hot tub' I think you're saying 'hot dog'."
Student 3: "That reminds me of when my dad was talking about the Dead Sea Scrolls, I kept thinking he was talking about Dead Sea Squirrels." (1/23/23)
Student [rounding the corner as I was unlocking the gate to enter the building]: "Yay! Mister, I beat you."
Me [locking the gate into place]: "How could you beat me if I was here unlocking the gate before you got here?"
Student: "You're right. You're right. It's a tie then since you were..."
Me [sprinting up the stairs]: "Bye!"
Student: "NO! Wait!!!" (1/20/23)
“That was so horrible. It’s like it [school lunch] went from bad to worse. I thought the school pizza was bad, but this Wild Mike’s pizza was disgusting.” - Comment from a high school student when describing the pizza slice wrapped in plastic that he received for school lunch. (1/18/23)
"I feel like the little 7th graders just don't have any pizzazz." - Comment from a high school senior after seeing a group of 7th graders pass by our class. (1/12/23)
Student: "Can I use this marker?"
Me: "Sure."
Student begins writing "Student is my fav" in large letters on the board.
Me: "Why?"
Student: "Why am I your favorite student? I don't know. You tell me." (1/12/23)
Student: "What if I don't need to take notes?"
Me: "Instead of sitting around waiting for everyone else to finish, all I'm asking is to write down a few things so you don't forget what you just did."
Student: "But what if I already know what I just did."
Me: "You're just writing it down so you don't forget it in the future."
Student: "But I understand it now, so..."
Me: "Try writing a few sentences as if you were trying to show a friend who's never seen this how to do it."
Student: "When I help my friends with their work and they don't know how to do things I just say, 'You just gotta know the strat[egy]!'"
Me: "I guess I know what to say to you if you ask for my help on this later." (1/11/23)
Student: "Mister, I have an important question."
Me: "Sure, what's up?"
Student: "Why don't they have any bathrooms on the 3rd floor?"
Me: "I'm not sure. Maybe they do, but they're not open."
Student: "Why aren't they open? Doesn't it make sense to have a bathroom on the 3rd floor so we don't have to go all the way downstairs then come all the way back upstairs?"
Me: "That does make sense."
Student: "This school makes no sense." (1/9/23)
Student [joking that his parents are Korean]: "The northern kind."
Me: "How did they escape?"
Student: "They didn't. They're spies."
Me: "That would make them really terrible spies."
Student: "Every morning they wake us up and make us salute the Uns."
Me: "??? The who?"
Student: "The Uns."
Me: "Who are the Uns?"
Student: "You know, like Kim Jong-UN."
Me: "Do you really think his last name is Un?"
Student: "It's not Un?" (1/6/23)
Student [who has struggled this semester, but worked extra hard on the most difficult unit]: "What did I get?"
Me [handing the exam over]: "Just look."
Student: "Eeeeeeeeee!"
Other students: "What did you get?"
Student: "I got a 95!"
Other students: "What!?" "I'm so happy for you."
Student [beaming]: "I don't know what to do."
Me: "???"
Student: "I had this whole thing mapped out in my head that I would have to come back this afternoon to try and make up this test. Then maybe I'd have to come back tomorrow to finish. I even told my family this morning that I was going to fail this test."
Me: "But you didn't! I'm proud of you."
Student [sighing]: "It's like I can breathe again. The birds are chirping. The sky is so blue and bright. It's so wonderful." (12/15/22)
Student: "Did you grade my test already?"
Me: "Yes. I just finished."
Student: "Can I see what I got?"
Me: "Sure."
Student [loudly]: "YES!"
Other students: "What'd you get?"
Student [loudly]: "I GOT 100%!"
Other students: "Yay! I knew you would do well." "I hate you."
Me: "What are you doing?"
Student [trying to put her test in her folder]: "I can't take this home?"
Me: "No."
Student: "But I wanted to show my mom."
Me: "You can show her your score online."
Student: "Yeah, but she won't believe me."
Me: "She doesn't have to believe you. She can believe the grade that I put online."
Student: "But she won't believe how hard it was."
Me: "Just give me back the test before I change the score." (12/14/22)
Students 1 & 2 ask for help to solve a problem.
Me: "I can follow Student 1's work, and it's right up to here."
Student 2: "See!? That's the part I helped you with. What about the next step? I helped Student 1 with that too."
Me: "Um... no. That step is wrong. You can't reduce a fraction like that because the things in the numerator need to be added first."
Student 1 starts laughing at Student 2.
Me: "Don't laugh at Student 2."
Student 2: "Yeah! I was right."
Me & Student 1: "No you weren't."
Student 2: "I mean, I was right but in the wrong way." (12/12/22)
Student 1 [looking at the lunch menu]: "Guys, what's the difference between 'Asian chicken' and regular chicken?"
Student 2 [shrugging]: "Diversity." (12/6/22)
Student 1: “I don’t rank instruments, but the french horn is clearly superior to other instruments.”
Student 2: “No. It’s the flute!”
Student 3: “What!? The flute?”
Student 2: “Yes! In terms of portability it’s the best.”
Student 3: “Yeah, but you can barely hear it.”
Student 2: “Yes! That’s also a pro.”
Student 3: “Why? You’re supposed to hear it in a band.”
Student 2: “Now if you mess up, the flute is so quiet that no one can tell if you made a mistake.” (11/29/22)
Student 1 [seeing a picture of my dog on my computer desktop]: "Hey Mister, is that your dog?"
Me: "What? Over here? Yes."
Student 2: "Ooh! You should bring it to school!"
Student 1: "Yeah Mister, you totally should!" (11/23/22)
Student 1: "Mister, Student 2 was talking about you."
Me: "Oh? What did he say?"
Student 1 [reading something that he wrote down]: "He said, 'I think Mister looks like a stereotypical Texan.'"
Me: "What? Why?"
Student 2: "No, no, no. I said, 'Imagine if Mister was a stereotypical Texan.'"
Me: "That's not that much better."
Student 1 [tapping his notebook where he wrote the quote]: "Nope. You THINK you said that, but that's not what I heard and wrote down." (11/22/22)
Student 1: "I think it should be illegal to listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving."
Student 2: "I just want you to know that I listened to Christmas songs the whole way here."
Student 3 [to Student 1]: "You're such a scrooge."
Student 1: "No, I'm not a scrooge. I love Christmas music. In fact, I listen to it all the time...AFTER Thanksgiving." (11/21/22)
"I think this is going to make me...what was it called? Oh, 'prematurely gray'." - Comment from a high school junior after she finished reviewing for an upcoming exam. (11/17/22)
