Quote of the Day (email)

"Mister, I don't have an email; I only have gmail." - Comment from a high school student after I asked her if she had an email address that I could forward some assignments to. She then requested an explanation of what the differences between email and gmail were. She's lucky she didn't get the smart aleck response about amail, bmail, cmail, and dmail. (1/3/13)

Quote of the Day (regret)

"Mister, can you do me an even bigger favor?" - Request for a copy of a letter of recommendation from the student who practically demanded that I write her the letter within 6 hours and never showed up to claim it after school. She finally came to pick it up two days ago; her reason for requesting another copy was that the one I gave to her got wet. (1/30/13)

Quote of the Day (white flag)

"OK Mister, I surrender." - Comment from a student as he handed in his test after I asked him to turn it in. He had struggled through the majority of the problems over the last hour. (1/29/13)

Quote of the Day (granola bar)

"OOH! Hey Mister, do you have another one?" - Reaction from a student entering my room after school while I snacked on a granola bar. Knowing what the next question was going to be, I confess that I lied. (1/25/13)

Quote of the Day (faculty)

"Wait! Am I faculty? Can I go in there? Where is this place?" - Questions asked by a student in rapid fire succession after I told her that the only microwave on campus that I know of is in the faculty break room. (1/24/13)

Quote of the Day (recommendation)

"Can you get it done by today (after school)?" - Response from a student after I asked her when she needed to have the letter of recommendation that she requested this morning. What are some good synonyms for "demanding procrastinator"?  (1/23/13)

Quote of the Day (calculator)

"I'm not texting; it's the calculator." - Defensive quote from a high school student who refused to put her phone away instead of doing her work. When I began to list all the reasons why I knew it wasn't the calculator: two thumbed input, no paper in front of her, green speech bubbles on her screen, etc. She gasped and barked, "MISTER! Were you reading my texts?" Case closed. (1/22/13)

Quote of the Day (claustrophobia)

"Stop sitting so close to me; you're making me feel constipated." - Quote of the day contribution from my student who was telling me that her friend had accidentally replaced the word "claustrophobic" with something far more embarrassing. (1/18/13)

Quote of the Day (pizza)

"Mister, are you hungry? Do you want a piece of pizza?" - Generous offer from a student after school. She continued, "I found it in the bottom of my bag." After I declined, she flung it in the trash saying, "Yeah, it didn't quite look right." (1/16/13)

Quote of the Day (record)

"Mister, we're one and one now." - Spontaneous comment from a student who found out that I follow the Utah Jazz earlier in the year. The Jazz just beat his favorite team (Miami Heat) 104-97 on Monday. (1/16/13)

Quote of the Day (loud)

"Everybody told me it was much quieter without me around." - A student's boast upon returning from an absence. (1/15/13)

Quote of the Day (racist)

"Wow Mister, you're so racist." - One student's grumpy reaction after I chose to ignore her shouting to get my attention and instead continued to help students who were quietly raising their hands for help. (1/14/13)

Quote of the Day (bug)

"Why do I always find bugs in my friends' hair?" - Comment of exasperation from a student who warned her female friend that there was a spider in her hair in the middle of class causing a minor commotion. As I took the bug from the student (on a pencil), I noticed that it was actually a baby praying mantis. You don't know how badly I wanted to take a picture of it before I released it outside of my classroom. (1/11/13)

Quote of the Day (checkup)

"Oh thank goodness! You didn't die." - Greeting from a student peeking around the doorway much to the bewilderment of her peers. This was the student who accidentally fed me peanut products after learning of my allergies to them. (1/10/13)

Quote of the Day (power)

"I hope it was a Decepticon." - Quip from a high school student after he learned that it was a blown transformer that caused a partial power outage on campus. (1/9/13)

Quote of the Day (allergies)

"WAIT! Don't eat the cake!" - Warning from a student running down the hall who had just shared some cake with me. When she had originally offered it, I asked if there were any peanuts in it because of my peanut allergy. After she had left the class, she learned that the butterfingers her cake was laced with do actually contain peanut elements, and she came dashing back to make sure I wouldn't eat it. (1/8/13)

Quote of the Day (BCS)

"Roll tide!" - Quite possibly the only Alabama supporter among all the Manti Teo and Notre Dame supporters at our school. (1/713)

Quote of the Day (movie)

"Hey, have you guys seen that movie 'Lez Miserables'?" - Mispronunciation by a female high schooler that I left uncorrected. (1/4/13)

Quote of the Day (nope)

"HI MISTER! DID YOU MISS ME?" - Enthusiastic greeting shouted to me by a high school student upon her entrance to class on the first day after Winter Break. (1/3/13)

Quote of the Day (friend)

"Mister, I swear I'll be your best friend if you make my grade anything but that F." - An easily rejected offer from a student who came in for help for the first time on the last day of the semester. She got offended when I told her I didn't want a beggar as a friend. (12/14/12)