Quote of the Day (Halloween)

Student 1: “Mister, I’m so disappointed that you didn’t dress up.”
Student 2: “Mister is dressed up! He just told me he dressed up as a non-conformist.”
Student 1: “Aw. That’s so lame.”
Student 2: “I know, right? He could’ve printed a picture of a tire. BOOM! He’s tire-d.”


Bonus quote: “Oh yeah! Today is Halloween.” - Realization from a high school junior...during the last class of the day. (10/31/18)

Quote of the Day (goat)

Student 1 [bleating in the middle of class for the second time]: “Baaaa!”
Student 2: “Ha ha ha. You sound just like a goat.”
Student 1: “I know. Mister told me it sounded real too. He even told me he wants me to do it again up in the mountains during hunting season.” (10/29/18)

Quote of the Day (Twinkie)

“Mister, do twinkies have an expiration date?” - Question asked by a high school senior in the middle of class. (10/26/18)

Quote of the Day (groan)

Student [at the end of class]: “That was actually pretty easy.”
Me: “Really? Because I’m pretty sure when I introduced the lesson someone back here let out a loud groan.”
Student: “You’re right. That was me.” (10/26/18)

Quote of the Day (enjoy)

“Mister, I think for the first time in my entire...uh, career... as a student, I think I like math.” - Comment from a high school senior at the end of another class where he contributed many of the answers and helped several of his peers. (10/25/18)

Quote of the Day (calculator)

Me: "What happened to your calculator? Did you forget it at home?"
Student [pulling out his calculator from his backpack]: "No. It's right here."
Me: "Then why are you using [student name]'s calculator?"
Student: "Because I didn't want to drop mine and break it." (10/23/18)

Quote of the Day (master)

“And now the master is the teacher.” - Comment from a high school student after he helped his friend that normally helps him. He paused then continued, “Wait! I don’t think I said that right.” (10/23/18)

Quote of the Day (bachelor)

[Male] Student: “Mister, do you watch Bachelor in Paradise?”
Me: “No.”
Student: “Well you should. There’s so much drama.”
(9/4/18)

Quote of the Day (hurts)

“Ow! This actually kind of hurts.” - Exclamation from a high school student in the middle of class. When I turned to see what she had done to cause the pain, I saw her continuing to tap her forehead with the end of her pencil. (10/19/18)

Quote of the Day (fired)

Student: “Do you know if [teacher name] got fired?”
Me: “No. Why do you think I would know that?”
Student: “I don’t know. I thought that they’re a teacher and you’re a teacher so you would just know that kind of stuff.” (10/16/18)

Quote of the Day (people)

Student: “Mister, do you like people?”
Me [confused where this was coming from]: “Some people.”
Student: “You’re right. Not all people are bad, but there are a lot of irritating ones.” (10/16/18)

Quote of the Day (dog)

“It’s like his eyelids were too small so his eyes looked like they were always going to pop out.” - A student’s description of the dog his family had while growing up in a different country. His story took a sad twist when he continued, “And then one day he was gone. We think the neighbors stole him and ate him.” (10/15/18)

Quote of the Day (confidential)

Student 1: “Yes! [Teacher name] is letting me finish my work over Fall Break.”
Student 2: “Not! I don’t believe you.”
Student 1 [holding up his computer]: “Look! It says it right here in the email. ‘Keeping this between you and me [rest of the message].’” (10/5/18)

Quote of the Day (breathing)

“You could just stop breathing.” - Comment from a conversation between two friends that caught me off guard. When they saw the stunned look on my face, they bursted into laughter and explained that the student who was sick was concerned about spreading her germs to her friend when the aforementioned suggestion was offered. (10/4/18)

Quote of the Day (dream)

Student [entering the class]: “Mister! You were in my dream last night?”
Me: “Uh oh. What was I doing?”
Student: “You were telling me what to do. ‘Do this!’ ‘Don’t do that!’”
Me [relieved]: “Did I have my voice back? What did I sound like?”
Student: “You sounded like my parents.” (10/2/18)

Quote of the Day (tan)

Student 1: “I’m part white. Don’t I look white to you?”
Student 2: “No, you look tan.” (10/1/18)

Quote of the Day (Hot in Herre)

“♪ It’s getting hot in here, so turn on all your fans. ♫”  - Short tune sung by a high school student on a particularly muggy/hot morning. (9/28/18)

Quote of the Day (happy)

Student: “Mister, do you have [friend’s name]?”
Me: “Yes. How did you know?”
Student: “Because she came into practice and grabbed my arm just to tell me that she scored 100% on your test.” (9/27/18)

Quote of the Day (stairs)

Student 1 [entering the classroom]: “Ugh. I can never get used to those stairs.”
Me: “That’s because I added a few more this morning.”
Student 1: “Ha ha ha [courtesy laugh]. That’s so dumb.”
A few minutes later Student 2 enters the classroom breathing heavily. “I hate those stairs.”
Student 1: “Mister said he added a few more this morning.”
Student 2 [glaring at me]: “Mister! Why would you do that?” (9/26/18)

Quote of the Day (goldfish)

Student [between bites]: “Hi Mister. Would you like some goldfish?”
Me: “No tha...”
Student [pulling the bag away from me]: “That’s OK. They’re kinda stale anyway.” (9/25/18)