Quote of the Day (sick)

The following are some comments made by students upon my return from missing my first couple of days due to illness in over two and a half years.
Student 1: “Mister, you’re back! I may or may not have started a rumor that you died.”
Student 2: “When [student name] told me you were absent, I said we’d better call 9-1-1 to make sure you were OK.”
Student 3: “Did the sub say anything about an explosion?” [Turns out someone spilled cheerios during class]
Student 4: “Mister, I heard you died.” (2/28/19)

Quote of the Day (limp)

Student 1 limps into a classroom devoid of most students due to a shooting threat on social media.
Student 2: “Student 1, what happened to your leg?”
Student 1 [grimacing as he continued limping around the class]: “I fell and hurt my knee.”
Student 2: “So you cannot run?”
Student 1: “No. It hurts even when I walk.”
Student 2: “Then you picked a bad day to come to school.” (2/22/19)

Quote of the Day (dumb)

Me: “Hey, how was the ACT yesterday?”
Student: “It made me feel so dumb.”
Me: “Don’t say that. It’s hard to stay focused for that long.”
Student: “No, every section I turned to made me feel dumber and dumber.” (2/21/19)

Quote of the Day (ACT)

“Do I have to go back?” - Question from a high school student who came to visit my class during her break from a long day of taking the ACT. (2/20/19)

Quote of the Day (mean)

Student: “Can you only grade the homework questions that I did and not the ones you were going to grade?”
Me: “Noooo. That would be favoritism.”
Student: “But if you don’t do that, that would be...meanicism.” (2/19/19)

Quote of the Day (prom)

Student 1: “Hey, do you want some candy?”
Student 2: “No, thanks. I have to lose 30 pounds by prom.”
Me: “Wow!”
Student 2 [calculates]: “Yeah, so that means I have lose just about a pound a day.” (2/14/19)

Quote of the Day (birthday)

Student: “Mister, are you really going to make me take a test on my first day as a seventeen year old?”
Me: “Yes. Sorry.”
Student: “But it’s my birthday tomorrow [Thursday].”
Me: “Technically, you don’t have to take the test tomorrow.”
Student: “REALLY!?!?”
Me: “Yes, you don’t have to start it tomorrow, but it does have to be finished by Friday just like everyone else.”
Student: “Fine. As much as I don’t want to, I should probably start it tomorrow.”
Me: “See? Not even seventeen and already making mature decisions.” (2/13/19)

Quote of the Day (old)

Student 1 [talking about her rugby scrimmage with a local team]: “They were all so old!”
Student 2: “Like grandmas!”
Student 1: “One of them had wrinkles all over.”
Me [worried about senior citizens playing a contact sport against teenagers]: “How old were they?”
Student 1: “20’s. Maybe in their 30’s.” (2/12/19)

Quote of the Day (quitting)

Student 1 walked up to me while I was helping another student, said something to me then returned to his seat.
Student 2 and Student 3 look at each other then look at me.
Student 2 [to me]: “Did you just hear that?”
Me: “Student 1, did you have something to ask me?”
Student 1 [playing dumb]: “Huh? What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Student 2: “You just called him Mr. Lau!”
Me: “That’s what I heard.”
Student 1 [to me]: “Mister, did you really hear me say that?”
Me: “Yes. Why did you not stay and ask your question?”
Student 1: “I just decided to quit while I was ahead.” (2/7/19)

Quote of the Day (help)

Student 1: “Mister, can you help me with my [math] homework?”
Me: “Sure.”
Student 1: “Oh wait, do you know how to do Algebra 2?”
Student 2: “He teaches higher math, I’m sure he knows how to teach Algebra 2.”
Student 1: “Yeah, but does he know how to do it?” (2/6/19)

Quote of the Day (test)

“That was a good unit.” - Comment from a high school student who had just scored above 90% on an exam for the first time all year. She added, “Can we just stay on this unit forever?” (2/5/19)

Quote of the Day (baby pictures)

“That was cool. It was like looking at baby pictures, but with math.” - Comment from a high school student after being given the chance to look through some of his old tests from last year. He remarked on how much he grew in knowledge since then and noticed trends in the types of things he struggled with as I prepared all of the old tests for disposal. (2/4/19)

Quote of the Day (D)

“Mister, I’ve never been happier to get a D on an exam until I took this class.” - Comment from an AP Calculus student after she learned that she passed the exam that had the lowest average score of all the exams that I gave last year. (2/1/19)

Quote of the Day (phone)

Student 1: “Mister, you have no idea how bad Student 2’s addiction to her cell phone is. [Teacher’s name] sent out three emails to our parents this semester. All of them were about us on our phones during class. All of them were because of Student 2.”
[a few hours later]
Student 2 [looking at something funny]: “Can someone take a picture of that? That’s so funny; I want a picture of it.”
Me: “Why don’t you take a picture of it yourself?”
Student 2: “I CAN’T! I had my phone taken away yesterday.” (1/31/19)

Quote of the Day (bronchitis)

Student 1 [announcing to me]: “I just want you to know that I have bronchitis.”
[a few days later]
Student 2 [looking a bit haggard]: “I don’t want to jinx myself, but I’m not feeling too good. I hope [Student 1] didn’t give me her bronchitis.”
Student 1: “You’re sick too? Now we’re bronchi-buddies!” (1/29/19)

Quote of the Day (TA)

Student 1: “How come I’ve never seen a T.A. (teacher’s aide) in this class (Trigonometry)?”
Me: “That’s because in order to help in a class like this, what class does the T.A. have to be in?”
Student 1: “Oh, a class higher than this one.”
Student 2: “Something like AP Trigonometry 5!” (1/29/19)

Quote of the Day (dumb)

Student: “Mister, do I look dumb?”
Me [thinking this was a trick question]: “No. Why would you even ask that?”
Student [attempting to discreetly point to her shaved eyebrow]: “No. Do you think THIS looks dumb?” (1/28/19)

Quote of the Day (workshop)

“What on earth could possibly be so important that they would make you miss our class?” - Question from a student after he found out I would be absent the next day for a mandatory workshop. (1/24/19)

Quote of the Day (shutdown)

Student 1 [entering a classroom darkened by a power outage]: “First the government shuts down, now the power is shut down.”
Student 2: “Next all our bodily functions will shut down.” (1/23/19)

Quote of the Day (slippers)

Student 1: “Mister, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear slippers.”
Student 2: “Yeah, how come you don’t wear slippers?”
Me: “I just think it looks unprofessional.”
Student 1: “So do you never wear slippers?”
(12/17/18)