Quote of the Day (daughter)

 Student [after observing an Asian student ask a couple questions and leave]: “Mister, was that your daughter?”

Me: “…”

Student: “No! Wait! Forget I just asked that.” (9/30/21)

Quote of the Day (test score)

Puzzling subject line of an email I received during the last class of the day: “YESSSSS”

Student [who had sent the email and gone out of her way to come to my class after school ended]: “Mister! Did you see what I got on my test?” (9/29/21)

Quote of the Day (Halloween)

 Student 1: "Mister, if I shave my head can I dress up as you for Halloween?"

Student 2: "Do it!"

Student 2 [turning to me]: "Would you be offended?"

Me: "No."

Student 2: "What are you going to be for Halloween?"

Student 1: "No. Wait! Don't say it. I want to be surprised." 

Student 2 [to me]: "Do you even know what you're going to dress up as for Halloween?"

Me [lying]: "Yes. It's going to be great."

Student 2 [excitedly]: "Oh? I can't wait to see what it is."

Me: "Well, what day is Halloween?"

Student 2 [looking it up]: "It says it's a Sunday."

Me: "I guess you won't be around to see it then." (9/27/21)

Quote of the Day (greetings)

 Student 1’s friend walks by our class before heading downstairs: “Hi Student 1!”

Student 1: “Man, this is so embarrassing. This happens almost every day.”

Student 1’s friend walks by after coming upstairs: “Hi Student 1”

Student 1: “Why did she even walk back up here? Her class isn’t even over here.” (9/27/21)

Quote of the Day (crying)

“No. You don’t understand. It’s like watching your mom cry. You’re telling me you wouldn’t feel sad too?” - Comment from a male student after his friends gave him a hard time for tearing up a bit after watching his teacher cry in front of the class. (9/24/21)

Quote of the Day (quotes)

 Student 1 [pointing to the silly quotes from students written on my board]: “Mister, do you make these up?”

Me: “No. It’s stuff my students say.”

Student 2: “Well, I want you to know that I love coming into class and reading those quotes.” (9/23/21)

Quote of the Day (time)

 “Oh, so that’s why people take their time on their tests.” - Comment from a high school student as she was looking back at all the easy errors she made on the exam that she had finished faster than everyone else. (9/22/21)

Quote of the Day (Korean)

Me [after seeing Korean writing on the back of a student’s phone]: “Why do you have that on your phone?”

Student [surprised that I noticed]: “You know what that is?”

Me: “It’s Korean.”

Student [ever more surprised]: “Can you read that?”

Me: “Jeon Jungkook (Korean boy band member)”

Student: “Mister, you are now my all-time favorite teacher.” (9/21/21)

Quote of the Day (more time)

 “Mister, if we don’t finish, can we get more time?” - Student’s question in the middle of a test. This is the same student who walked in, was surprised there was a test (that had been announced for over a week), then loudly proclaimed with relief that it would be “so easy” since he remembered that the test was open notes. (9/20/21)

Quote of the Day (next period)

 Me: “So what exactly were you working on instead of doing your test.”

Student 1: “I was working on my test…my test that’s coming up in my next period.”

Student 2 [who had been eavesdropping]: “Wait! Are you in my next period? Do I have a test that I didn’t know about?” (9/17/21)

Quote of the Day (mask)

 "Oh, so that's what you look like without a mask." - Comment from a high school student who saw me with a lowered mask from across the room. Almost all students exited the room after the last class of the day ended, and I had just retreated to my desk to drink some water. (9/15/21)

Quote of the Day (O.G.)

 Me [looking at Student 1's papers]: "And please stop writing my name as O.G. Hwang."

Student 2: "O.G.?"

Student 1: "Yeah, because Mister is the true O.G. Besides it just rolls off the tongue. O.G. Hwang." (9/15/21)

Quote of the Day (square root)

 “What’s a hundred square rooted? Five?” - Question asked aloud from the same student who asked what two times two was last week. (9/14/21)

Quote of the Day (wave)

 Student 1 [to Student 2]: "So...I saw Mister this morning over by A-Building."

Me: "Oh no. I know where this is going."

Student 1: "I waved at him, but he looked so confused."

Student 2: "Wait. Why? What was going on?"

Student 1: "So I put my mask on then he recognized who I was and waved back." (9/13/21) 

Quote of the Day (Voice)

 Student 1 [pointing to my mic]: "A lot of my teachers have these now."

Student 2: "Like who? Mine don't. Well, besides Mister and [Teacher 1]"

Student 1 [counting on his fingers]: "Right, Mister, [Teacher 1], [Teacher 2], and [Teacher 3] just got one..."

Student 2: "Oh, don't forget [Teacher 4]."

Student 1: "Oh yeah, that's right. I hate when they speak with those things."

Me: "Why? It's supposed to help you hear what they're teaching."

Student 1: "Yeah, but sometimes it's so loud and their voice just comes from everywhere. It's like hearing the voice of God." (9/10/21)

Quote of the Day (grouchy)

 Student [wearily entering class]: “Mister, you better watch out.”

Me: “Huh? What did I do?”

Student: “If you think I’m always tired now, just wait for [sport name] season to start.”

Me: “Why? What are you going to be like then?”

Student: “I’m going to be so grouchy! So you better watch out.” (9/9/21)

Quote of the Day (touch)

 Me [apologizing for absent-mindedly touching a student’s notebook to point to something she wrote]: “I’m so sorry. It’s just a habit. I shouldn’t have touched your notebook.”

Student: “That’s OK. It’s better than my [subject name] teacher. They tapped my phone as they walked by so they could see what time it was.” (9/8/21)

Quote of the Day (test)

 Student 1 [enters the room]: “Mister, do we have a test today?”

Me: “No. Where did you hear that from?”

Student 1: “Oh, Student 2 [from my last period] texted everybody before school that we had a test today in your class.”

Me: “Why would he say that?”

Student 1 [shrugs]: “I don’t know”

A few minutes later

Student 3 [enters class]: “Mister, do we have a test today?

A few more minutes later

Student 4 [from down the hallway]: “Mister, why do we have a test today?” (9/7/21)

Quote of the Day (2x2)

 Student 1 [thinking out loud while rushing to finish his work before leaving for the weekend]: “Wait! What’s two times two?”

Student 2 [in shock]: “WHAT’S TWO TIMES TWO?”

Student 3: “Ha ha ha. Look at Mister’s face!”

Moments later, a breeze blows through the class and Student 1 skillfully snatches two of his papers before they hit the ground.

Student 1: “Did you see that? I’m like Spider-Man!”

Student 2: “I’m pretty sure Spider-Man knows what two times two is.” (9/3/21)

Quote of the Day (Friday)

Student 1 [enthusiastically entering the classroom at the beginning of the day]: “YAY! IT’S FRIDAY!”

Student 2: “What!?”

Student 3: “No it’s not. Today’s Thursday.”

Student 1 [as if all the life was sucked out of him]: “Oh. You’re right.” (9/2/21)