Quote of the Day (broken)

A few weeks ago, Student lifted her backpack and rested it on my desk. The desk promptly tipped over from the weight and clattered to the floor. As I helped the Student pick up her things, I commented on how heavy the backpack looked.

Student [entering class this morning]: “Mister, do you remember my heavy backpack?”

Me: “Yes.”

Student: “It finally broke yesterday.”

Me [admiring the new backpack]: “This one doesn’t look much lighter. What happened to the old one?”

Student: “Oh, ha ha. When I tried to zip up the old one, the zipper just broke, and it couldn’t close.” (1/31/22)

Quote of the Day (rich)

 Student 1: “If I was rich…I would go shopping. I mean, I already go shopping a lot.”

Student 2: “If I was rich…I would…”

Me: “So now you would go shopping even more?”

Student 1: “Yeah. Maybe every day.”

Me [to Student 2]: “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cut you off. What were you going to say?”

Student 2: “I was going to say that if I were rich….um, I don’t know. OH! I know, I would get Mister Hwang some paper towels.” (1/27/22)

Quote of the Day (test)

 Me [to Student 1]: “Will you be able to finish your homework [due at the end of class]?”

Student 1: “Um…I think I need help. I’ll just come in for help tomorrow.”

Me: “The test is tomorrow.”

Student 1: “The test is tomorrow?”

Students 2, 3, 4 who heard this conversation either laugh, roll their eyes, or both.

Student 5 [to Student 1]: “He’s been saying it for over a week.”

Student 1: “Oh, I guess I didn’t hear him.”

Student 5 [pointing at the board]: “It’s been written up there for just as long.” (1/27/22)

Quote of the Day (teaching)

Student: “I was thinking about going into teaching.”

Me: “Nooooo. Don’t do it.” (1/26/22)

Quote of the Day (quotes)

Student 1 says something really silly.

Student 2 [turning to me]: “Mister, are we your only class that says stupid stuff like that?” (1/25/22)

Quote of the Day (decomposition)

Me: "Hey Student, I listened to your [music] recommendation this weekend."

Student [surprised]: "You did! Tell me what you thought about it."

Me: "I was kinda surprised. I thought it was going to be obnoxious or unoriginal. It was actually quite..."

Student: "Quite what? I'm going to need a detailed decomposition." (1/24/22)

Quote of the Day (page)

 Student: “Man, Mister, you weren’t kidding when you said last week that we’d be doing questions that take up a whole page.”

Me: “What? You didn’t believe me?”

Student: “No, I thought you were saying that just to scare us.” (1/20/22)

Quote of the Day (return)

 Student 1 [entering the classroom]: “I’m back!”

Student 2: “Wait! You were gone too?”

Student 1: “Yeah, I got COVID.”

Student 2: “Me too!”

Student 1 and Student 2 [in a mock cheer]: “Yay! We got COVID!!” (1/19/22)

Quote of the Day (not helping)

 Student 1 helps Student 2.

Student 2 [loudly]: “Stop saying that. It’s not helping!”

Me [walking over to calm the situation]: “What was Student 1 saying? It looked like he was just trying to help.”

Student 1 shrugs.

Student 2 [in an exasperated tone]: “He just kept telling me that if I would just get all the parts of the question right, I wouldn’t be getting them wrong.”

Me [looking over at Student 1]: “I mean, he’s got a point.”

Student 1: “Thank you Mister!”

Student 2 [rolling his eyes at me]: “Yeah, but that’s like saying ‘If you were smarter, you wouldn’t be so dumb.’” (1/18/22)

Quote of the Day (deal)

Me [for the third time to Student 1 who was distracting Student 2]: “Did you finish your work?”

Student 1: “No. How about if I finish one problem in the next thirty seconds then I don’t have to do the rest of them.”

Student 2 [to Student 1]: “WHAT!? That makes no sense? Why would he ever make that deal with you?” (1/14/22)

Quote of the Day (animal)

Student 1 [bounding into my classroom with Student 2]: “Mister! Wait! [turns to Student 2] How did it go?

Student 2: “If you were walking in the forest…”

Student 1: “Oh yeah. Mister, if you were walking in the forest, what’s the first animal you’d see?

Unlike other blog entries, I have a request before you read the rest of this funny conversation with my students. What would have been YOUR answer to that question?

Me [thinking about the last animal I saw on a hike]: “I don’t know. A bird?”

Students 1 and 2 start laughing.

Me: “Wait! What’s going on?”

Student 2: “Supposedly the size of the animal you said is the size of the problems you are dealing with in life.” 

Me: “So what animal did you say?”

Student 1: “A giraffe.” (1/13/22)

Quote of the Day (kid)

 Student 1 [who is notorious for asking random questions and straying off topic]: “Mister, I forget. Did you ever tell us if you have any kids?”

Me: “I’ll answer that lat…”

Student 2 [interrupting my answer]: “Who cares!? He has a dog…A dog that he was supposed to bring to class today.”

Student 1 [distracted from his original question]: “He was supposed to bring his dog to class today?”

Student 2 [staring right at me]: “He’s supposed to bring his dog to class every day.” (1/12/22)

Quote of the Day (obese)

 Students 1 & 2 erupt with raucous laughter while Student 3 tries desperately to downplay something.

Me: “What’s going on over there?”

Student 1 [trying to contain his laughter]: “I was telling Student 2 that this stuff feels like it’s mentally abusing me…like it’s mental abuse.”

Student 2 [laughing while interjecting]: “Yeah and Student 3 thought Student 1 said that he was mentally obese.” (1/11/22)

Quote of the Day (seating chart)

 Student 1 [reading the announcements while entering the classroom]: “New seating chart tomorrow.”

Student 2 [entering the classroom behind Student 1]: “New seating chart? Is that today or tomorrow.” (1/10/22)

Quote of the Day (beetles)

 Student 1 [looking at a crossword puzzle clue]: “‘Song by the Beatles’…I don’t know. I don’t listen to the Beatles.”

Student 2 [from across the room]: “What!? You’re allergic to beetles?” (1/7/21)

Quote of the Day (long time)

 “Whew! Long time I never climb those stairs.” - Out of breath comment from a student slowly passing my classroom on the first day back from Winter Break. (1/5/22)

Quote of the Day (tutor)

 Me: “I heard you’ve been tutoring some people for this test.”

Student [dejectedly]: “Yeah. I’ve been helping [lists several students’ names]. I even know why they need my help.”

Me: “You do?”

Student: “Yeah. It’s because they don’t pay attention in class. I even told them that they wouldn’t need any help if they just did their work in class like everyone else.” (12/15/21)

Quote of the Day (brownie)

With just two students left in the classroom after school, I finally had time to eat my lunch. I chose to eat just outside the doorway so if students needed to ask their questions they could do so while maintaining a safe distance.

Student 1: "Mister! Is that a brownie? That looks so good."

Student 2: "No, that's just a sandwich."

Student 1: "Then why is it brown?"

Student 2: "Because it's wheat bread!"

Student 1: "Oh, I thought it was a brownie. It doesn't look that good any more." (12/14/21)

Quote of the Day (proud)

 Student [after helping his friend with a difficult question]: "Mister, you know this is my hardest class, right?"

Me [nodding]: "Yup."

Student: "Are you proud of that?!" (12/13/21)

Quote of the Day (test)

 Student [entering the classroom and throwing her bag down by her desk]: "I'm so upset."

Me: "What's wrong?"

Student: "I spent the whole class [last period] memorizing stuff and studying for my test only to have someone tell me it's an open-note test." (12/10/21)