Student [in a hoarse voice]: “Mister, do you think I could borrow a cough drop?”
Me: “Borrow? So, you’re going to give it back?”
Student [laughing]: “No. Could I have a cough drop please?”
Minutes later, I could hear Student cheering because he had solved a complex problem.
Student [still in a hoarse voice]: “I feel like Batman!” (4/29/22)
Student 1: “OK. Give us another one.”
Student 2 [looking on his phone]: “Here. Try this one: ‘ottffss’ What are the next three letters?”
Students 1 and 3 [struggle through it for several minutes before they stop me as I walk by to help students]: “Let’s see if Mister can get it!”
Student 1 [repeating the riddle]: “It’s something we use a lot in this class.”
Me [pointing to Student 1’s paper after a short thought]: “Do you mind if I write the answer in the corner of your paper?”
Student 1: “Sure.”
Me: “Is this right?”
Student 1 [to Student 2 and 3]: “Oh! Mister’s got it.”
Student 2: “That’s because he cheated!” (4/28/22)
Student 1: “Mister! You speak Japanese?”
Me: “I used to know a lot, but not any more.”
Student 1: “Do you want to be my tutor?”
Student 2: “Aren’t you taking Spanish?”
Student 1: “Yeah, but I want to learn Japanese because of anime.” (4/27/22)
Student 1 [feeling overwhelmed after returning from an extended absence for a trip]: “Mister, why is your class so hard?”
Student 2: “Well, you shouldn’t have left for two weeks.”
Student 3: “Yeah. I would never miss this class since it’s so hard to catch up.” (4/26/22)
Student 1 [entering the class]: "Oh Mister! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"
Me: "Huh? Why?"
Student 1 [pointing to the board where I had written how many school days were left to turn in any late work]: "At first I thought that's how many days were left in school."
Student 2: "Oh, when do we finish school?"
Me [pulling up a calendar and changing the month from April to May]: "The 26th I believe."
Student 2: "The 26th!? But today is the 25th already."
Me: "The 26th of May. Next month, not this month." (4/25/22)
Student: “Mister, did you hear a lot of loud laughter maybe…um…around two weeks ago?”
Me: “Huh? During what time of day?”
Student: “Oh, uh. During __ Period.”
Me: “Actually, yes! It’s during my smallest and quietest class, and someone mentioned how loud another class in the building was and how they wanted to know what was so funny.”
Student [beaming]: “That was me! I was presenting my poem about my phone and everyone was laughing.” (4/22/22)
Student 1 [upset with the solution to Student 2’s riddle]: “That’s so dumb. It’s not even math.”
Student 2: “Yes it is math. You just need some brain power to find the trick.”
Student 1: “That takes dumb power not brain power.” (4/21/22)
Student 1 [pointing to a word on his computer]: “Mister, what does this mean?”
Me: “Omit?”
Student 1: “Yeah.
Me: “It means to leave out.”
Student 1: “Oh. That makes sense. Thank you.”
Student 2 [who had been eavesdropping on our conversation]: “Mister, what does that have to do with planets?”
Me: “Huh?”
Student 2 [making a circular motion with her finger]: “Doesn’t it [omit] have something to do with planets?”
Student 1: “Oh my gosh! That’s ORBIT!” (4/19/22)
Me [to Student entering the class]: “You got a haircut?”
Student [rubbing his hand over his short hair]: “Yeah. Oh! Now we’re brothers.” (4/19/22)
Student 1 [entering class]: “Mister, I heard that we’re having an Easter egg hunt today.”
Me: “Oh? Who did you hear that from?”
Student 1: “From Student 2 [Student 1’s friend that’s in an earlier class]. She said it was fun.”
Me: “That’s strange. She sat there and didn’t even look for any eggs.”
Student 1: “Oh, that’s because she didn’t know what was going on.”
Me: “What? It even said ‘There are two Easter eggs hidden in the classroom’ on the board.”
Student 1: “Yeah. She told me she thought you meant metaphorical eggs.” (4/14/22)
Student 1 [entering the classroom and seeing an asterisk next to her name]: "Hey! Why does my name have an asterisk?"
Me [handing Student 1 a packet]: "Oh, it's so I remember to give you this."
Student 2 [a friend to Student 1]: "How come Student 1's name has parentheses but mine doesn't?"
Student 1: "PARENTHESES!?"
Student 2: "Yeah, how come your name has it but mine doesn't?"
Student 1: "Parentheses?"
Student 2: "Yeah, that little symbol next to your name."
Student 1: "Oh my gosh Student 2, that's called an asterisk." (4/13/22)
Student: "Mister, when are the retakes due?"
Me: "Tomorrow."
Student [grimacing]: "What if I'm not done?"
Me [shrugging]: "Don't take this the wrong way, but do you remember that we had a short conversation on the last day before Spring Break?"
Student [sheepishly]: "Yyyyeeeeaaaaahhhhh."
Me: "So you remember that you said you were too tired to do the work and that you would do it after the break?"
Student: "Yyyyeeeaaaaahhhhh."
Me: "And is that decision to not do anything coming back to haunt you right now?"
Student: "Yeah. I'll get it done by tomorrow." (4/12/22)
Me [to Student 1 who was entering the class without a mask for the second day in a row]: "Where's your mask?"
Student 1 [feigning surprise]: "Oh! I don't have one. This is my only class that makes me still wear a mask."
Student 2: "Bro. Just use the one I wore during practice the other day."
Student 1 [pulling on a mask after digging through Student 2's bag]: "Thanks."
Me: "I hope it's clean."
Student 2 [avoiding eye contact]: "It's clean...I think." (4/11/22)
Student 1: "I get why teachers do that [grouping a strong student with a weaker one], but I don't like it."
Me [trying to keep positive]: "You could just view it as a compliment. Like the teacher has confidence in you."
Student 1: "Yeah, I guess. You know Student 2?"
Me [trying not to roll my eyes]: "Yes."
Student 1: "[Teacher name] paired me with him for almost the entire year even when I told them that Student 2 wasn't doing any work."
Me: "I'm sorry you had to go through that."
Student 1: "It's why I ended up hating [teacher name] and Student 2 for almost the whole year." (4/8/22)
“Mister, I think I have senioritis.” - Comment from an unmotivated junior during class today. (4/7/22)
"Mister, I can't whistle. I can't blow bubbles when I chew bubble gum. I don't have any basic skills." - Random comment from a high school student during lunch. (3/24/22)
Me: complaining about something that Student 1 is still doing and hasn't corrected all year.
Student 2: "Don't get mad Mister. People can change. It's a new year. It's only [checks phone]...Whoa! It's almost the end of March!?" (3/29/22)
Student 1 [holding a broken mask]: "Mister, do you have an extra mask that I could use?"
Student 2 [also with a broken mask]: "Oh yeah, me too please."
Student 2 [smirking after he watched me hand a mask to Student 1 then to him]: "Thanks. You only give out masks to your A students, huh?"
Me [holding out my hand]: "Here, give it back then." (3/28/22)
Me [jokingly to Student who had been absent for a long time]: "Oh! You're still here. I thought you had dropped out of this class."
Student: "What!? I like this class. In fact, this is my favorite math class I've ever had."
Me: "You're just saying that because all your friends are in this class."
Student: "NO! I mean, they're part of the reason. Mister, I like this class so much that I even did all the work I missed while I was on the plane ride home." (3/24/22)
Student 1 [to Student 2]: “Did you get your (field trip) permission form signed?”
Student 2: “No. I don’t want to go.”
Student 1 and Student 3: “What!? You don’t want to go?”
Student 2: “No. I don’t want to roller skate, so I’d just be sitting there doing nothing.”
Student 1: “Yeah, but you get to miss school.”
Student 2: “If I wanted to miss school and sit around doing nothing, I would just stay home. AND it’s cheaper.” (3/23/22)
