Quote of the Day (wisdom teeth)

"I was told I have five wisdom teeth. Is that even...legal?" - Question from a high school student explaining to me why she wouldn't be in school for the next few days. (5/9/17)

Quote of the Day (cleaning)

"Oh hey! Look! He's cleaning my bed." - Comment from a high school student as she saw me start vacuuming the counter by the window that she (and several other students) liked to lounge on before classes. (5/26/17)

Quote of the Day (mama said)

"You're right. I'll be satisfied with my grade. My mom just told me that students that try to turn in late work on the last day of school are the most irritating students." - Mature comment from a high school student who was denied the opportunity to turn in two missing homework assignments that would have raised her grade AFTER she saw her updated grade with an exam she told me she was coming in to finish on Monday...three Mondays ago. (5/24/17)

Quote of the Day (highest)

"Mister! How the heck do these two have the highest grade in the class?" - Question from a high school student who was watching his two classmates fail at performing a simple arithmetic question (1x1+3) to break the tie for having the highest grade in the class. (5/24/17)

Quote of the Day (studious)

Student: "Is it OK if I come back here to work on this if I get a pass?"
Me: "Sure, but I don't want you to miss anything important."
Student: "Right, becasuse there's so much I can learn about life by watching some dumb movie."
Actual conversation from a student who would rather work on an AP Calculus summer assignment than watch a movie with his peers in another class. (5/23/17)

Quote of the Day (betrayal)

"I feel so sad. I can't believe he betrayed me." - Comment from a high school student after learning that her brother, who had said he would help her with a major assignment, started it without her. (5/22/17)

Quote of the Day (dog)

"Yeah, so long story short...my dog ate my homework." - Conclusion from a trustworthy high school student who was frustrated because her teacher didn't believe her account of her leaving her precious school packet on a chair, her parents coincidentally keeping the family dog inside overnight due to an injury, and the dog shredding her packet to use as bedding. (5/19/17)

Quote of the Day (over)

"Mister, are you over it? A lot of my other teachers said they're over it already." - Question from a high school student as class started. Little did she know, I was already over it back when the school year started in August. (5/17/17)

Quote of the Day (meeting)

Student [just as I'm closing my windows and getting ready to leave]: "Hi Mister! Where you going?"
Me: "Sorry. I have a meeting. Did you need some help?"
Student: "No. I just wanted to talk story."
Me: "Oh, sorry I can't stay."
Student: "Are you sure you have a meeting?"
(5/15/17)

Quote of the Day (conception)

Student 1: "Hey Mister! When's your birthday?"
Me: "Jun...wait, why?"
Student 2: "[Student 1] wants to know when you were conceived."
Me: "WHAT!?"
Student 1 [busy opening some website that calculates back approximately 9 months from your birthday]: "Yeah. It turns out I was conceived on Valentine's Day, and [Student 2] was conceived on the Fourth of July!" (5/15/17)

Quote of the Day (seniors)

Two questions from departing senior students some of whom I taught almost four years straight:
"Mister, is it hard this time of year when the seniors leave?"
"Mister! Are you going to miss us?" (5/12/17)

Quote of the Day (weekend)

Student: "Bye Mister. Have a good weekend."
Me: "Wait! Are you not going to be here tomorrow?"
Student: "Oh! Oops, don't tell anyone I said that. It just feels like a Friday. I'll say that to you again tomorrow." (5/11/17)

Quote of the Day (cried)

"Mister, I just want you to know...hang on, let me catch my breath from those stairs... I just want you to know that I almost cried yesterday during the test." - Comment from a high school student who went well out of her way (to my class on the 3rd floor) to express her feelings about the AP Calculus exam she took the day before. (5/10/17)

Quote of the Day (schedule)

"OK, what do I have to do tomorrow?" - Question posed by a high school student to herself after she stood up to get ready to leave school. She continued, "Wake up early, eat a good breakfast, don't die." (5/9/17)

Quote of the Day (bee)

"Look Mister! I'm the Bee Master. What should I do? Kill it? Or let it go?" - Comment from a high school student who had trapped a bee with his water bottle during class. (5/8/17)

Quote of the Day (book)

"That's all from second period? You should write a book of them." - Reaction from a high school student after I read some of the random quotes I had written down from my other class. (5/5/17)

Quote of the Day (smell)

Student 1 (to Student 2): "Mmm, you smell nice today."
Student 2 (looks at me awkwardly, pauses, then smells herself): "Nope. It's not me. It must be Mister." (5/4/17)

Quote of the Day (instagram)

"I'm going to make an Instagram just so I can follow you Mister." - Comment from a younger high school student who has heard of some of the humorous posts on my public instagram account. For the record, I don't think my posts are that funny. (5/3/17)

Quote of the Day (Field Trip)

Student [walking into the room well before the start of class]: "Hi Mister."
Me: "What are you doing here? I thought you had a field trip."
Student: "...Oh yeah."
Me: "Wow! How is it that I know your schedule better than you?"
Student: "Oh no, I don't have any money to buy lunch."
...
Student: "Oh well, I can skip eating."
...
Student: "Oh, I also need a change of clothes."
...
Student: "Oh well, I'll dry out in the bus."
...
Student [turns around and walks out]: "Thanks for reminding me Mister." (5/2/17)

Quote of the Day (scab)

Student 1: "Yes! It's finally off. It's taken about a month."
Me [turning to see Student 1 picking off a scab from his knee]: "Why would you even tell me this let alone say it out loud? That would be like taking pictures of it and posting it on instagram."
Student 2: "My brother posted pictures of his ingrown toenail on his instagram." (5/1/17)