Quote of the Day (mumps)

“Is this about [student name]?” - Question from mutiple students as I handed out an official school letter detailing the anonymous confirmed case of the mumps at our school. (11/30/17)

Quote of the Day (R U OK?)

The following is from a student’s recollection of an incident in his class during a suicide prevention presentation that revolved around the theme of  “Are You OK?” that was spelled out “R U OK?”
“So Mr. [Teacher Name] shows the slide with R U OK? on the screen and says, ‘This is what our presentation is about. You all know what this is, right?’ And someone in the back says, ‘Rue-Ock? What does that mean?’ ” (11/29/17)

Quote of the Day (hoarder)

Student 1: “Hey! Are those my pants?”
Me [to student 2]: “Did you steal [Student 1]’s pants?”
Student 2: “No. These are the pants that he traded to me for a hamburger.”
Student 1: “Oh yeah, now I remember.”
Me: “Wait! You traded a pair of pants for a hamburger?”
Student 2: “Yeah, he has lots of clothes.”
Student 1: “I just collected a bunch of clothes over the years.”
Me: “Are you a hoarder?”
Student 1: “No. I just don’t get rid of stuff.” (11/21/17)

Quote of the Day (Cyber Monday)

“They should just make Cyber Monday a holiday too.” - Opening greeting from a high school student after Thanksgiving Break. I don’t know who “they” are, but they need to get on this. (11/27/17)

Quote of the Day (revelations)

Student 1: “Hey [Student 2]! Are you still working on your test?”
Student 2 just nods.
Student 1: “Me too! Are you done?”
Student 2 shakes her head.
Student 1: “Are you done, but too afraid to turn it in?”
Student 2 nods.
Student 1: “Me too! I’m sitting here praying for revelations, but it’s not working.” (11/22/17)

Quote of the Day (homey)

“When [Former Student] found out that I was taking Trig, she said, ‘I hope you get in Hwang’s class.’ Then she said that you were friends.” - Comment from a current student telling me about a student I taught a couple years ago. She continued, “No, wait. She didn’t say that you were friends. She said, ‘He’s my homey.’ Whatever that means.” (11/21/17)

Quote of the Day (weekend)

“I’m sorry, Mister. It was the worst weekend of my life.” - Apology from a high school student for his lethargic performance in class. He played for the school’s football team that lost a heartbreaking State Championship game on Saturday. Before he left, he got in a slight dig on some of his teammates, “But at least I came to school today!” (11/20/17)

Quote of the Day (Lamaze)

“I feel like we should take those classes where they teach you how to breathe when you’re pregnant. Hah, hee, hah, hoh.” - Comment from a high school senior to her friend after climbing up to my classroom on the third floor. (11/16/17)

Quote of the Day (lockdown)

“You know, I actually had a dream about this.” - Confession from a high school student as I prepared the class for our upcoming lockdown drill. He continued, “I mean, not the drill, but an actual incident with a shooter on campus. I dreamt that we put a whole bunch of yarn in the doorway and hid. When the shooter ran in, he tripped and we all jumped on him and stabbed him with our scissors.” (11/16/17)

Quote of the Day (Stomach)

Me [to a student making awkward penguin motions in the back of class]: “Excuse me, just what is going on back here?”
Student: “Mister, do you know if you can touch your stomach with a straight arm?”
Me [as the student continues to make weird arm motions]: “...Um, okay. I guess someone could if their stomach is big enough.” (11/15/17)

Quote of the Day (face paint)

“Mister, if you paint your face... No, if you paint just half your face red, I bet you’ll get the highest teacher ratings ever.” - Comment from a high school student who is desperately trying to get me to paint my face for a school pep rally which coincidentally falls on the same day that I have to distribute surveys to my students to rate my performance as a teacher. (11/14/17)

Quote of the Day (pulse)

Me [feeling somebody touching my wrist while I’m helping a student]: “What are you doing!?”
Student: “Oh, um, I was just trying to take your pulse.”
Me: “First of all, why the are you trying to take my pulse? Secondly, if you’re going to take someone’s pulse, at least do it right. Follow the person’s thumb to the wrist. Also, never use your thumb to take someone’s pulse.”
Student [taking her own pulse]: “Ooh! I feel it now. It’s amazing what you can learn in school.” (11/8/17)

Quote of the Day (fund raising)

Student: “Mister, do you want to buy a plate lunch?”
Me: “For?”
Student: “For my rugby team’s trip.”
Me: “When is the pick up for the plate lunch?”
Student: “Oh, um, tomorrow.”
Me: “Sorry, let me know ahead of time and I might help out.”
Student: “Man, I haven’t even sold one ticket yet.”
Me: “I’m sorry.”
Student: “It’s OK. It’s not your fault. I just hate selling stuff...It makes me feel like a prostitute.” (11/9/17)

Quote of the Day (pass)

”Mister, I’m going to pass this class.” - Curious statement from a student who started out poorly, but has been making progress throughout the semester. He finished his greeting with, “My mom says I couldn’t pass this class, but I’m going to prove her wrong.” (11/8/17)

Quote of the Day (B)

Student: “No! I don’t want it!”
Me [handing student her progress report]: “Here”
Student: “Argh! I can’t afford B’s. Getting a B is like getting an F.” (11/7/17)

Quote of the Day (study)

”I’m going to go home and study some more.” - Answer from a student after I asked him why he was turning in an incomplete test with more than five minutes left in class. (11/6/17)

Quote of the Day (Spider-Man)

The following are two comments from different students in different classes about the same person, a student who is obsessed with Spider-Man.
Student 1: “Sometimes he doesn’t respond to [student name]. I have to say ‘Peter’ then he’ll turn and look.”

Student 2: “Are you the one who wrote [student name] the pass on Halloween, the one that said ‘Peter Parker’?”
Me: “Yes.”
Student 2: “Did you hear that because of your note he made EVERYONE call him Peter the rest of the day?”
 (11/3/17)

Quote of the Day (zero)

The following is a conversation with a student that turned in homework late multiple times until I told him that I wouldn’t accept it. He later tried to turn in more late homework claiming that he couldn’t come to school because of a road closure. I accepted since it may have been true but I warned him that he used up all credibility by turning in all his other assignments late and that I would not be so lenient in the future. After the end of the quarter he tried to worm his way into making up classwork that he had missed due to an absence several months ago.

Me: “Are you not going to do your homework? Today is the last day to turn it in.”
Student: “Oh, um, I forgot my bag at home. Can I...”
[Student recognizes my increasing annoyance]
Student: “So I’m just going to, um, take the zero.”
At least he’s learning something. (11/2/17)

Quote of the Day (costume)

Student 1: “Hey [Student 2]! You know who you should’ve dressed up as?”
Student 2: “No, who?”
Student 1: “You should’ve dressed up as Mister.”
Student 1 & Student 3: “Ooooh!”
Student 3: “Yeah, that would’ve been a great costume!” (10/31/17)

Quote of the Day (1 year)

"I live in Hauula now, but I lived in Laie for one year. One year in Laie is like ten years in Hauula." - Comment from a high school student after he learned that he lives right up the street from me. (10/31/17)