Quote of the Day (invitation)

 Former Student [entering my classroom]: "Mister Hwang!"

Me: "Oh, hey Former Student. How have you been?"

Former Student: "I've been good. I have something to give to you, but I want you to know it's not from me."

Me: "???"

Former Student: "I mean, I was asked to bring this to you, but it wasn't my idea."

Me [suspicious]: "Um...what is it?"

Former Student: "Your name was brought up as someone we [student body government] would like to invite to chaperone the Homecoming Dance next week." (9/28/22)

Quote of the Day (crossing guard)

 Student [seeing me as I walk back to class after our fire drill]: "Oh! Ew!"

Me: "Wow! Ew? Am I that ugly?"

Student [pointing to the bright orange vest our school makes us wear for drills]: "Oh, no. It's because of that."

Me: "Do you not like orange?"

Student: "No. It reminds me of crossing guards."

Me: "?? What's wrong with crossing guards?"

Student: "Nothing. I just don't like them." (9/27/22)

Quote of the Day (name)

 Background: A conversation began forming between Student 1, Student 2, and Student 3. Topics ranged from famous people to Elon Musk.

Student 1: "I don't know. If I had a kid, I'd name him Musk."

Student 2: "That's so dumb. Why would you do that to your kid? I kinda want to change my name to morse code."

Me: "So, you want me to call you beep, beep, beep, beeeep, beeeep, beeeep, beep, beep, beep?"

Student 2 [laughing]: "Yeah!"

Student 3: "I bet Mr. Hwang would name his kid after math equations." (9/26/22)

Quote of the Day (voice)

 Me [to Student 1 who had been raising her hand for help]: "Thanks for waiting. What can I help you with?"

Student 1: "Oh, nothing. I heard you helping Student 2 from across the room. I had the same question as her so you already answered my question."

Does that mean my voice is getting better or was the class just really quiet? (9/23/22)

Quote of the Day (success)

 Student [in the middle of class]: "Yes! I got it right."

Me [to Student at the end of class]: "How'd you do today?"

Student: "I think I did really good. I got the last (the hardest) question right."

Me: "Nice!"

Student: "And I figured it out all by myself." (9/22/22)

Quote of the Day (turning in)

 Student [at the end of class]: "Can I turn this in?"

Me: "No. We're not done yet. There are a few more problems."

Student [dejectedly]: "Aw. I really wanted to turn it in though."

Me [suspiciously]: "Why are you so excited to turn it in already?"

Student: "BECAUSE! I really wanted you to see how much better my notes are now [after doing poorly on an open notes test earlier in the week]." (9/21/22)

Quote of the Day (corrections)

 Me [to Student who was trying to correct the mistakes they had made on the test]: "Instead of just sitting around waiting for me to help you, you can always look through your notes for a similar problem and try to figure it out on your own."

Student [two minutes later]: "Oh my gosh! It's right there in my notes!"

It was an open notes test. (9/20/22)

Quote of the Day (review)

 Me [to Student who was reading in class last Wednesday]: "Are you OK? You're all ready for the test?"

Student: "Yeah. I'll study a couple things on Thursday."

Me [to Student who was playing cards in class on Thursday]: "Did you go over the things you said you needed help with already?"

Student: "Yeah. The test is open notes, so I think I'm ready."

Student [after turning in the test today]: "Here, Mister. I'm going to have to come in sometime to retake this." (9/19/22)

Quote of the Day (food)

 Student [entering the class]: "I'm hungry. Mister, do you have any food?"

Me: "Yes and no."

Student: "??? So you don't have any food?"

Me: "No, I have food."

Student: "So why did you say 'Yes and no.'?"

Me: "Because I'm already answering the question you were going to ask next."

Student: "??? Never mind." (9/16/22)

Quote of the Day (bro)

 Background: Student, who was painfully quiet during the first few days of the school year, has been slowly opening up to the class. She had just openly complained about the spacing of something I had typed and projected in front the class. She said something akin to "Bro, I can't read that because they're so close together."

Me: "First of all, I'm not your bro."

Student: "Sorry. My favorite two words are 'bro' and 'bruh'."

Me: "Yeah, I'm starting to see that."

Student: "I even call my mom 'bro'." (9/15/22)

Quote of the Day (watch)

 Student: "I dunno. If I were rich, I think I would buy a nice watch."

Me: "A watch?"

Student: "Yeah. Oh! Over the summer I went to the Rolex store in Ala Moana, and they let me try on one of the watches. Guess how much it cost!"

Me [shrugs]: "I don't know. Five hundred?"

Student: "No. The watch cost $7,000! And they actually let me try it on. I think I would buy that watch if I were rich." (9/14/22)

Quote of the Day (sixty percent)

Background: I have a policy where students in my upper level class must do 10 practice problems for every question that they miss on an exam if they fail. The emphasis is on learning fundamental concepts early and learning from mistakes so future lessons won't be as difficult.

Student 1 [submits test and checks their score]: "Yes!"

Student 2: "What did you get?"

Student 1: "A 61%. Barely passed. I don't have to do any practice problems."

Student 3 [submits test and checks their score]: "Whew! I made it. 64%"

Student 2: "Oh man, I'm nervous."

Student 4 [after checking their score]: "OK, I thought I would fail. I did pretty good."

Student 2: "What did you get?"

Student 4 [proudly]: "68%."

Student 2: "I've never seen so many people so happy to get a score in the 60's." (9/13/22)

Quote of the Day (disability)

 Student 1: "Man, I have a bad knee. My back is messed up. And I think I'm dyslexic."

Student 2: "Wait! You're dyslexic? Do you have trouble reading?"

Student 1: "No, not exactly. I have trouble hearing."

Student 2: "Isn't that being deaf?"

Student 1: "No. It's like being dyslexic."

Me and Student 2: "???"

Student 1: "It's like what I hear and what is being said are not the same thing."

Student 2: "That makes no sense, but OK. You're just a walking disability." (9/9/22)

Quote of the Day (queen)

 Student: "Mister, I don't think I can do any work today."

Me: "Oh? What's wrong?"

Student: "Yeah, the Queen just passed away."

Me: "Oh. I didn't realize you were so close."

Student: "Me and Aunt Lizzy were super close." 

Me [walking away]: "I'm sorry for your loss." (9/8/22)

Quote of the Day (sister)

 Me [to Student]: "So yesterday, your sister sh..."

Student [rolling her eyes]: "Oh no!"

Me: "Whoa! What did I say?"

Student: "Oh, it's nothing YOU said. It's just whenever someone talks to me about my sister it's..."

Me: "Is she that bad?"

Student: "Well, no. It's just that whenever someone talks about my sister it's usually about something weird she did or how she's so annoying." (9/7/22)

Quote of the Day (cats)

 Me [seeing Student's notebook wtih a picture of a dog on it]: "Are you a cat person or a dog person?"

Student: "Dogs. But we have a cat too."

Me: "So you have both?"

Student: "Yeah, but I like the dog better. We only see the cat when it's time to eat or sleep." (9/6/22)

Quote of the Day (glare)

 Student [telling me about his reaction to something his teacher said to him]: "After she said that, I just gave her the [last name] Family Glare."

Me: "The what?"

Student [stops smiling and glares at me menacingly for a few seconds]: "It's like that."

Me: "I hope your teacher was OK after you did that."

Student laughs. 

Student [a few minutes later]: "Do you want to see a picture of my grandpa?"

Me: "Sure."

Student shows me an old black and white photograph of a young man glaring at the camera.

Me: "I can see the resemblance."

Student: "Yup. That's where I get the [last name] Family Glare from." (9/2/22)

Quote of the Day (grading)

Student [walks into my class after school]: "Mister, are you busy right now?"

Me: "No, what can I help you with?"

Student: "Nothing. You're not stressed out about mid-quarter grades?"

Me: "No. I'm done with my grades. Why?"

Student: "Just wondering. All my other teachers are complaining or panicking about getting their grades done because mid-quarter grades are due tomorrow." (9/1/22)

Quote of the Day (not OK)

Me [to Student as I was circulating around the class as students work]: "Are you doing OK?"

Student [who was zoning out]: "Huh? Oh, no."

Me: "What can I help you with then?"

Student: "Huh? Oh, nothing. I know how to do this."

Me: "So why did you say 'no' when I asked if you're doing OK?"

Student: "Oh, because my life's not OK." (8/31/22) 

Quote of the Day (teacher)

 Student 1 [to Student 2 as I walked by]: "I have these peanut butter crackers."

Student 2: "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Be careful. Mister is allergic."

Student 1: "Mister is allergic to peanuts?"

Student 2: "Yeah. He told us this after that incident with [Student Name]."

Student 1: "Mister, are you really allergic to peanuts?"

Me: "Yes. Why do you not believe me? Why would I lie about it?"

Student 1: "I don't know. Maybe because you wanted us to be careful."

Me: "That would be like me teaching with this voice, but really I talk differently outside of school. Maybe I teach choir or something. What would I gain from that?"

Student 2: "WHAT!? Oh my gosh!"

Student 2 [continuing in a hushed voice like mine]: "That would be so cool. I want to be a teacher just so I can do that." (8/30/22)